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Divorce Support This forum is for discussing the emotional aspects of divorce: stress, anger, betrayal of trust and more.

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  #11 (permalink)  
Old 09-24-2012, 11:18 PM
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I must have been tramatized...... personally, not been aroundlong enough for the Karma, or is that better said what goes around, comes around and it will be sitting and waiting for a particular person when the day gets here - not that I have ill will (not my style) but if I can make it the day WiLL arrive.

Today - my biggest and lasting stress relief is spending the day with my girl - a 65 pound black lab (and maybe another 56 breeds).... unconditional....
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Old 09-25-2012, 06:55 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by arabian View Post
I saw my lawyer before I met up with the g/f. My lawyer told me to try to not look too smug. LOL.

Considering a few years ago this person tried to put a peace bond on me (I had to hire a criminal lawyer) and has been a primary reason for the numerous legal battles (family and business issues) I've endured for 3 yrs - yes extremely satisfying.

Pure Karma baby
I would never meet with my exs gf. there is no reason for it. I especially wouldnt do it if the person tried to have legal action taken against me before.

Your ex has been the primary reason for the battles. He can either go with what she says or tell her he will handle it his own way. If you dont believe that then maybe you should get back with him as he must be such an upstanding man (just kidding). Put the blame when it should be ON HIM.
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Old 09-25-2012, 09:59 AM
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My ex is totally upstanding lol. Just kidding. For me, there's no way in hell I'd meet w/the ex or his g/f, wife whatever. It has nothing to do with jealousy etc. Things were over between us when he met her. I just know meeting him/her and chatting would never happen in a million years.
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Old 09-25-2012, 10:07 AM
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Im thinking I would run a mile from my stbxs gf!If you are dumb enough to support a loser in his efforts to evade ever paying child support ,then you really deserve what he is going to do to you.Unless of course he tuned her up and I was asked to be a character witness for my stbx -now that could be interesting.....Can you bring popcorn into court?
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Old 09-25-2012, 10:29 AM
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If people *had* to have marriage/cohab agreements, the SA would be easy! I don't think there's a perfect SA. It really all comes down in the end to how mature and reasonable the adults are.

Ddol: as for Karma, they say it takes 3-5 years to come around. As screwed over as I was/am by my ex (and with his wife's help) - the time is fast approaching now, that all their little dirty tricks, thievery and schemes are coming back to bite them. In any situation, it's all just a matter of 'time.'
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Old 09-25-2012, 11:26 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hadenough View Post
If people *had* to have marriage/cohab agreements, the SA would be easy! I don't think there's a perfect SA. It really all comes down in the end to how mature and reasonable the adults are.

Ddol: as for Karma, they say it takes 3-5 years to come around. As screwed over as I was/am by my ex (and with his wife's help) - the time is fast approaching now, that all their little dirty tricks, thievery and schemes are coming back to bite them. In any situation, it's all just a matter of 'time.'
I honestly dont think Karma will ever come around for my ex-he gets away with everything.
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Old 09-25-2012, 08:18 PM
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I'm not dumb. My ex is running out of lawyers that will represent him because he doesn't pay them.

If I can get an agreement, post divorce, that enhances my divorce agreement, then I will break bread with the enemy, not a problem.

I am only too willing to negotiate LOL.
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Old 11-13-2012, 09:22 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by slughead10 View Post
at the start of things i found the best way for me to feel better was to do things my ex wouldnt let me do when we were together.........like as many of her friends as possible
Hilarious post

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Old 11-15-2012, 11:36 AM
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One of my biggest stressors was my ex meeting my GF. I was picking up the kids for an activity, one that the kids had invited my GF to join. I called the apartment by phone to say I was there waiting at the entrance, and normally the kids simply come down. This time the ex came with them. We had the windows rolled down, and my ex strolls up to my GF and asks to talk to her in private. They had never met before, even seen pictures. My GF cooly replied that she did not think it was appropriate. My ex decided to tell her anyway that she was upset with my son for some bad behaviour and that we would need to be careful in how we handle him. My son is 18, and was within earshot of all of this, and I'm sure felt totally humiliated. And I'm pretty sure that was the point.

I sent an email to my ex telling her this was totally inappropriate behaviour, and she said that as a "co-parent" my GF needed to know. At that point we had been going out for a few months. It ddi not sit well.

As to how I deal with the stresses, I participate in some community activities that kep me busy, spend as much time with the kids as they allow, exercise and so on.

Getting the SA was very very stressfull, and it contributed to the death of the relationship with the GF as well. She was of the opinion that my ex was walking all over me and that I should fight tooth and nail. This despite the legal advice I was getting. The fact I felt she didn't respect my choice to concede some things to get an agreement was a major issue for me. In her divorce, she dictated all the terms to her ex, so it isn't like she had experience fighting in court.

My lawyer, for what its worth, said I had done as well as negotiating as he could have. He did draft up one special section of the agreement for me. My accountant, who is also divorced, agreed that sometimes you give a little so that you can move forward in your life. I conceded thousands of dollars in equalization (my accoutant helped me figure it out) but that would have quickly been spent on legals fees if I had fought it. My accountant told me it was money well spent.
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Old 11-15-2012, 03:58 PM
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When you have an abusive stbx who, for over a year, has been slandering you to your family, friends and business associates with malicious lies and has a lawyer who appears only too willing to help him continue, it can be stressful. Pages could be written of his bitter and acrimonious behaviour. I haven't responded in kind. I couldn't lie about him, just not in my nature

Stress Relief:

Taking daily walks, eating lots of vegetables, fruit, drinking lots of water, next to no junk food, breathing deeply when anxious (and it doesn't have to be for long..a few deep breaths will do), still can't sleep well, but it's improving. Although there has been alienation from some family members, family ties have become much stronger generally.

Reflexology treatments with a fantastic lady who has become my good friend and confidante. Meeting new friends and, regretfully, letting go of some old ones.

Reflection on my "self"...learning, growing, having Faith...it all helps.
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