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Divorce Support This forum is for discussing the emotional aspects of divorce: stress, anger, betrayal of trust and more.

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  #21 (permalink)  
Old 09-16-2014, 11:07 PM
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I love divorce. Any comment made can bent into whatever one wants to believe.
I'm female and if I was gone for 2 weeks working my butt off earning a living while my spouse was at home, I'd expect affection and sex when I got home. In fact, I'd be pretty ticked off if I didn't get it.

Go figure.

I've always worked full-time and taken care of kids and cleaned the house. The SAHM mom job with only 2 kids doesn't seem like that big of a deal to me. I couldn't live without affection or sex...there's no way I'd put up with that. I can absolutely understand wanting to divorce in that situation.

To each their own, I guess.

To tell you the truth, I'd never have a SAH spouse anyway. I would never support another adult...I'd expect them to be self-sufficient.

Last edited by Pursuinghappiness; 09-16-2014 at 11:09 PM.
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  #22 (permalink)  
Old 09-16-2014, 11:12 PM
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Originally Posted by childrenand happy View Post
There is a EX boyfriend that visited our house our entire marriage. so yes thats why I said what I said our first child we tried for a year before concieving, And the last I honestly dont remeber doing the deed. that why I said what I did. It's not really important at this stage of the game.
geesh not everyone conceives right away. Plus with your time away it was kinda hit and miss to even get pregnant.

Sometimes people can be friends with exs. I have been friends with one for over 25 years. My boyfriends over the years have met him and in fact he and my STBX use to watch hockey together.
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  #23 (permalink)  
Old 09-23-2014, 10:33 PM
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Welcome to Alberta. The oilpatch is great for making tons of money for the unattached young guy but not for raising a family, well it starts off good but then wife gets disgruntled and mad that husband is away half the time and divorce capital as the other person said it.

What do you think are the reasons why Albert is the divorce capital?

1. Is it because if its the wife that wants to leave, she be financially "independent" based upon SS / CS.
2. The life of the oilpatch, 2 weeks on 2 weeks off.
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  #24 (permalink)  
Old 09-24-2014, 12:47 AM
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Originally Posted by FirstTimer View Post
Welcome to Alberta. The oilpatch is great for making tons of money for the unattached young guy but not for raising a family, well it starts off good but then wife gets disgruntled and mad that husband is away half the time and divorce capital as the other person said it.

What do you think are the reasons why Albert is the divorce capital?

1. Is it because if its the wife that wants to leave, she be financially "independent" based upon SS / CS.
2. The life of the oilpatch, 2 weeks on 2 weeks off.

...plus a whole lot of married men messing around up in the 'patch while the wife is back in the city. Note that I am not saying this is the case with the OP. A couple of years ago I had a project at work which involved tracking sexually transmitted infections in Canada, and Ft Mac is off the charts in terms of how fast infections spread. The whole oilpatch situation is bad news for both husbands and wives. And real estate is unaffordable, so men can't buy a house and bring their families up - they end up doing 10 or 14 day rotations, with a lot of temptation - drugs, sex, you name it.
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  #25 (permalink)  
Old 09-24-2014, 01:00 AM
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2 weeks on 2 weeks off is a pussy schedule and not an excuse for broken marriage IMO. There are many communities to live in besides Ft. McMurray. Worst case scenerio is the 5 hr drive to Edmonton. Regular air and bus service.

Fort McMurray is a city. Most people working on rigs stay in camp which is hours out of Ft. McMurray. Camp is like a town unto itself. Much cheaper than trying to rent a place in Ft. McMurray plus it often is an employer/employee share plan. Check out Syncrude website for info on just one employer in the area.

I believe that nursing/retirements homes have the highest rates of STDs do they not?

Anytime you get people of opposite sex in a living situation which is boring you will have 'musical bed syndrome.' Something for me to look forward to someday I guess.
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  #26 (permalink)  
Old 09-24-2014, 08:49 PM
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So just got off the phone with the lawyer. 3171 a month for CS and for SS she gets 4971. oh lets not forget section 7 lets say 1000 for a grand total of 9142 a month did she just win the lotterry or what
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  #27 (permalink)  
Old 09-24-2014, 10:52 PM
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Did your lawyer say how he came up with those figures? They sound way too high to me. If your income is $175K and hers is $75K, and you've got one child, and you're sharing residency 50/50, there's no way your portion comes out to $3K per month. I punched the numbers into Child Support Table Look-up, and got $1 528 per month using your income alone, in the assumption that the child is with your ex full-time.

If you offset this amount by your ex's income, as you should do in situations where you both have equal residences with the child, the amount you pay would be even less. My bf has shared parenting of two kids, he makes around $125K, his ex makes around $50K, and his CS payments are less than $1.5K. Use the federal child support calculator (linked in the paragraph above), put in the appropriate numbers, and see what you come up with.

Same with SS - where did this number come from? SS is more complex than CS because there's no easy calculator which settles the issue, but $5K per month for a short-to-medium-term marriage to someone who is young and employable sounds way out of line to me. Go back to your lawyer, insist in knowing where these numbers come from, and if you don't agree with the reasoning, come up with your own counter-offer.
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  #28 (permalink)  
Old 09-24-2014, 10:59 PM
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They say she had gotten paid didvidened from the company and she is taking her name off the company. our t5's combined together is 193. our company at the end of expenses is 230 they want to base it off of the company. I dont have 50/50 I well get every other weekend. We have two kids a two year old and a 7 year old. They arent using the wifes income due to it was dividends. She is 43.
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  #29 (permalink)  
Old 09-24-2014, 11:09 PM
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1 - What about duration?
2 - SS is tax deductible
3 - CS is for life

Yes, she did just win the lottery - it'll get better she'll probably move wherever she wants and do whatever she wants with child support and/or spousal support.

You can hope she'll spend it on the kids but the reality is that she'll live off CS for the next 20 or so years. Put a bit of it aside like a pension plan and then live off that 65+...

Marriage is temporary, divorce is forever!
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  #30 (permalink)  
Old 09-24-2014, 11:12 PM
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4 years for spousal.
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