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Divorce Support This forum is for discussing the emotional aspects of divorce: stress, anger, betrayal of trust and more.

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Old 11-04-2013, 07:21 PM
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Default Spiritual Divorce

The Seven Spiritual Laws of Divorce:

Spiritual Divorce - Beliefnet.com
I found this article to be very helpful in dealing with the vulnerability and sense of loss associated with the divorce process.



The Seven Spiritual Laws of Divorce
(go to website for in depth version)

It is important to know that the breakdown of your relationship is for a greater purpose. Understanding some of the basic spiritual laws of the Universe will help you to discover that there is a reason you're going through this pain. These laws will guide you through the process of healing and bring you back to a place deep inside that is filled with wisdom, knowledge, and compassion for the human experience.

1= The Law of Acceptance: everything is as it should be.

2= The Law of Surrender: When we stop resisting and surrender to the situation exactly as it is, things begin to change.

3= The Law of Divine Guidance: God will do for you what you cannot do for yourself.

4 = The Law of Responsibility: With divine guidance, we can look at exactly how we participated in and co-created our divorce drama.

5 = The Law of Choice: Having taken responsibility, we can choose new interpretations that empower us.

6 = The Law of Forgiveness: After we have cut the karmic cord, we will be able to ask God to forgive us.

7 = The Law of Creation: Experiencing the freedom of forgiveness opens up the gates to new realities.
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Old 11-04-2013, 08:36 PM
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for me forgiveness was a very big step in recovering from divorce

thanks for the post
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Old 11-04-2013, 10:06 PM
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I'm still working on the forgiveness part towards the Ex and myself. I won't allow bitterness to poison my life so I keep reminding myself that he's crazy and that's all there is to it! It may be a simplification but it's my story and I'm sticking to it.
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Old 11-04-2013, 11:06 PM
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I read one of the late Debbie Ford's books, "Spiritual Divorce" shortly after separating. I could barely relate. As I recall, she was married for 7 years, had no children, and divorced because she and her husband didn't get along.

I agree that separation and divorce should not leave one bitter and one should learn for the experience. I have done that and find life so much better and peaceful after separating. Before separating, I was married to an extremely angry man who severely abused me, physically, mentally and emotionally. We were married for 42 years before separating.

Back to the book...I found it maudlin and overly sentimental. Her advice had a mystical and touchy-feely tone to it. Although the basic premise was good, the author made it sound like if you did not forgive and go about your life similar to what she had done, there was something wrong with you. I would not recommend this book. It was one of the worst books I have ever read on separation/divorce, and I've read "tons".
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Old 11-04-2013, 11:08 PM
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I'll forgive him once he decides to fuck the fuck off and leave me the fuck alone.

Er....too strong?

Just kidding. I forgave him a very long time ago for not being the partner I needed him to be. I don't believe I ever shared that with him, but it wasn't something I did for him anyways
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Old 11-04-2013, 11:11 PM
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Yes, I believe forgiveness is something you do for ourself. I've done that but now and then I admit to some anger, but nowhere near as strong as in the early days!
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Old 11-05-2013, 12:46 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by oink View Post
So saying "fuck" "fuck" "fuck" on a public forum is not crass / impolite / vulgar then, and perhaps allowed on here..perhaps it's just that ol separate rules thing
You are such a victim! How do you cope?
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Old 11-05-2013, 01:10 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by blinkandimgone View Post
I'll forgive him once he decides to fuck the fuck off and leave me the fuck alone.

Er....too strong?

Just kidding. I forgave him a very long time ago for not being the partner I needed him to be. I don't believe I ever shared that with him, but it wasn't something I did for him anyways
I'm not claiming to be Zen about any of this, I'm just 'trying' to be lol! I also have my I'll forgive him once he decides to fuck the fuck off and leave me the fuck alone moments every now and then!
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Old 11-05-2013, 02:03 AM
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Humour helps, a lot I've been perfecting my sarcastic side
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Old 11-05-2013, 10:39 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by blinkandimgone View Post
I'll forgive him once he decides to fuck the fuck off and leave me the fuck alone.
I second that.

How does one know if you've forgiven the ex? I haven't really thought about it. Maybe I need too.

How do you forgive someone when they're a constantly a dick? Do you forgive them for being a dick during the relationship and just try to ignore the new constant dickness? Or do you forgive them for each and every dick move as it occurs?

Not trying to be silly here - genuinely considering how this would work.
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