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Divorce Support This forum is for discussing the emotional aspects of divorce: stress, anger, betrayal of trust and more.

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Old 07-07-2011, 07:22 PM
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Default Some time has passed

since my ex and i broke up - and i'm no longer angry at my ex about that.

but i am having a really hard time of letting go of my newfound disrespect, anger, and yes probably hatred. I am still very angry that she chose a path after we broke up that was intentionally designed to limit my parenting role to our mutual son.

I'm not sure I'll ever be able to let that go.
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Old 07-07-2011, 07:55 PM
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I don't think you should let go of your anger. At least not right now. People talk about anger as being a bad thing. No emotion is actually bad - it is what with do with it that is going to cause negative or positive consequences.

Every action has a reaction. The law of cause and effect.

You are having emotions. These emotions are in reaction to some actions on her part. You are using the energy of these emotions to fight for your rights. To fight for justice and to fight for your childs right to have equal access to his parents.

I don't think you should let go of that. Standing up for oneself is a valuable life lesson. This should not be confused as retaliation. Retaliation is fighting to destroy the other or get power over the other. Standing up for oneself is fighting for protection of self and self power. They are very different forms of energy.

In time the need to be angry, and even hatred will dissipate but for right now it is protecting you. Don't feel guilty. Let it go when it is safe to let it go.

Sending good vibes.
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Old 07-20-2011, 08:51 PM
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I do believe the hatred will pass. Apparently (as everyone tells me) it's all part of the healing process. When we were with our last counsellor last year I was so mad-to the point of hate...that it just about destroyed me. It all eventually passed thank goodness.
As your son gets older, chances are he will want to be with you more. I've seen with some of my friends that the tables spin...the ones who don't get the daily visitation, and those who don't speak badly about the other parent to the children are the ones the children eventually want to be with (less stress and purely for love !).
I hope the tables spin eventually and you do get your just time with your son.
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