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Divorce Support This forum is for discussing the emotional aspects of divorce: stress, anger, betrayal of trust and more.

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  #21 (permalink)  
Old 08-17-2012, 04:37 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mess View Post
That is U.S. law. In Canada, consent is only required by one party. Or in other words, you may record yourself, along with the other parties.
I am aware of the single party consent in Ontario.

However my lawyer told me to be careful I don't accidentally record a conversation that occurred and I was not a direct participant in even though I was still able to hear the conversation. Although if I can hear the conversation and am present in the room then that person would have no expectations of privacy.

Thanks
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Old 08-20-2012, 01:19 PM
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Wow, so sorry you are going through this. How exasperating. Must be incredibly difficult to live your life in an even somewhat normal way.
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Old 08-20-2012, 01:28 PM
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If by normal you mean.

- Being able to commit to anything without the fear of your ex doing something at the last minute to change things
- Being able to have any friends over to my house
- Being able to walk around your own house without feeling like you are walking on egg shells
- Being able sleep on a normal bed in a normal room.
- Being able to have any privacy

Yes it's pretty difficult to have a normal life. I was able to have a little bit of a normal life this summer but that will all stop tonight. She changed our summer schedule (refer to point 1) and is bringing the kids back to the house tonight. Which is a good thing as I will get to spend more time with them. I have only had to see my stbx twice and only for 15 minutes at pick-up / drop-off since June 29th. However she will be living in the house again as she gets ready to go back to work in September. I continued to live and sleep in the basement even though I had the whole house to myself. Didn't want to raise my standard of living and have to adjust again LOL.

Edit: Thanks for the sympathy Sax...My post sounds a little rude...it was not meant to be.
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Old 08-21-2012, 11:53 AM
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So my stbx and kids came home last night from out of town. Kids were very happy to see me as I was them. Anyway this morning I got up and had a shower and my son said he was hungry. As the kids had not been home for a long time there were not too many groceries in the house. I told my son I would run to Tim Horton's and get them bagels for breakfast.

Before I left to Timmies I knocked on my stbx door and told her to get up as I had to go to work. I left and went to get the bagels. When I returned she was still sleeping in bed. I gave the kids their breakfast and woke her up again. She told me just to leave her door open which I did and she stayed in bed. I confirmed with my son if he remembered how to call me if he needed me. I had forgotten so I reminded him which speed dial my number was on. he agreed to call me if he needed anything.

It just pisses me off that she would rather sleep and let a 6yo and 3yo have free run of the house.

Anyway... it's all documented and conversations recorded.
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Old 08-21-2012, 12:08 PM
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Your post doesn't sound rude at all. i can sense your frustration.

Just look after yourself and the kids!!!

All you can control is yourself - you cannot control anything she does or says.
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Old 08-21-2012, 12:51 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sax View Post
Your post doesn't sound rude at all. i can sense your frustration.

Just look after yourself and the kids!!!

All you can control is yourself - you cannot control anything she does or says.
Ok good, it most certainly is frustration LOL
  #27 (permalink)  
Old 08-21-2012, 12:53 PM
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Hang in there FB. All things eventually end.

If you pmsg your email address today, I'll send copies of those files I promised when I get home today.

Best wishes!
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Old 08-21-2012, 01:09 PM
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Keep your chin up! Even though documenting everything seems futile...and many many days I felt I didn't have the energy to do so, I plugged away day after day.

My journal showed a pattern and history of behaviour....which although wasn't used directly in court, was communicated to my lawyer and child assessor. It was instrumental in the outcome in my case.
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Old 08-21-2012, 01:53 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FB_ View Post
So my stbx and kids came home last night from out of town. Kids were very happy to see me as I was them. Anyway this morning I got up and had a shower and my son said he was hungry. As the kids had not been home for a long time there were not too many groceries in the house. I told my son I would run to Tim Horton's and get them bagels for breakfast.

Before I left to Timmies I knocked on my stbx door and told her to get up as I had to go to work. I left and went to get the bagels. When I returned she was still sleeping in bed. I gave the kids their breakfast and woke her up again. She told me just to leave her door open which I did and she stayed in bed. I confirmed with my son if he remembered how to call me if he needed me. I had forgotten so I reminded him which speed dial my number was on. he agreed to call me if he needed anything.

It just pisses me off that she would rather sleep and let a 6yo and 3yo have free run of the house.

Anyway... it's all documented and conversations recorded.
I'm thinking that due to her psych history, possible drug use, and evident inability to get up and supervise them, I would not want to leave the children alone in the house with her for great lengths of time. Can you get them registered in a daycare or have a neighbour check in frequently or something?
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Old 08-21-2012, 02:00 PM
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Originally Posted by Rioe View Post
I'm thinking that due to her psych history, possible drug use, and evident inability to get up and supervise them, I would not want to leave the children alone in the house with her for great lengths of time. Can you get them registered in a daycare or have a neighbour check in frequently or something?
Considering her stance is she wants sole custody that would not fly. This is the type of crap I've been dealing with for a year. My old lawyer basically said something has to happen before we can step in. I've sent an email to my new lawyer but he has not yet replied.

If I go to CAS then I'm the one causing problems.

If I say something to my stbx I'm accusing her of things which increases the stress on myself and the kids. I really don't know what to do.

If I wait at home till she actually gets up I can't do much to stop her from going back to bed once I leave. All I know is she called me at 11:30 telling me she was going to do groceries. I have no idea what time she actually got out of bed.
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