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Divorce Support This forum is for discussing the emotional aspects of divorce: stress, anger, betrayal of trust and more.

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  #21 (permalink)  
Old 06-24-2013, 12:19 PM
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The other dynamic I notice with the type of behavior your ex exhibits is that it will increase/decrease depending on how things are going in her personal life.

So you'll see spikes and lulls in the behavior depending on how involved, stressed, bored, etc she is with other things.

Your response level should never change and in-time this does get a bit better. However, it will probably never really end. You're going to have to develop a methodology of dealing with the noise.
  #22 (permalink)  
Old 06-24-2013, 11:38 PM
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Just wanted to second this. The amount of crazynasty I get from the ex varies directly with the amount of stress he's experiencing in his personal life (job, moving, new wife, etc). Once I figured that out, his behaviour didn't seem quite so random any more, and I was able to let go of worrying about what I had done to bring on the latest bout of unacceptable behaviour.

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Originally Posted by Pursuinghappiness View Post
The other dynamic I notice with the type of behavior your ex exhibits is that it will increase/decrease depending on how things are going in her personal life.

So you'll see spikes and lulls in the behavior depending on how involved, stressed, bored, etc she is with other things.

Your response level should never change and in-time this does get a bit better. However, it will probably never really end. You're going to have to develop a methodology of dealing with the noise.
  #23 (permalink)  
Old 06-25-2013, 11:11 AM
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That's so funny

A couple days after the mass attack of emails I called her out on it in a joking manner. We both had a laugh about it. I commented that she must have had a bad day or something. I also told her that I would not respond to the crap anymore.

Things have been calm for the last week, but there has been nothing really to argue over. Our summer schedule is set and confirmed. I've also been very polite to her and her boyfriend.

My ex is bi-polar so it will swing back the other way at some point. The longer and smaller the cycles get the more stable she is. Hopefully the meds continue to work and it allows her to be a better mom.
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Old 09-04-2013, 11:15 AM
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I just wanted to add some emails for comic relief.

So I got this email after telling my ex that I was no longer able to attend the used hockey equipment sale this coming weekend because I had to work.

Quote:
Geeze thanks @$$hole nothing like passing the ####ing buck! You know it's not just my responsibility to attend this and buy that equipment! Your going to have to give me money for it all up front it's not fair.....
Here was my response

Quote:
As per our agreement I will provide you the money within 7 days of you providing me with the receipt.

Otherwise, I will buy the equipment when I can and provide you the receipt and you can pay me within 7 days.

Also going forward I will not be responding to emails which include vulgar language...It's not really appropriate.

Thanks

FB
I got this email in response to the email I sent her advising her of the kids teachers names since I had them the first day of school. I also informed her that our D4's teacher wants a blanket for nap time and a change of clothes in case of accident.

Quote:
I can't believe you didn't send her with a change of clothes! I see how it is are you going to send them for tomorrow or am I responsible for these items like always! I have her blanket at my house! If for some reason this blanket is sent home I would like it returned to me! It's the only blanket I took when I left. ....
I had to respond to this one.

Quote:
I know I'm unbelievable... Good thing you're not with me anymore

If her blanket comes to me I will wash it and send it back to school.
Oh how I miss summer already. I only had to see her 3 times, and there was nothing to email about. <takes a deep breath>
  #25 (permalink)  
Old 09-04-2013, 02:29 PM
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I feel for you, mine is doing the same ridiculousness to me. And it's only day 2 of school.
  #26 (permalink)  
Old 09-04-2013, 02:48 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FB_ View Post
Oh how I miss summer already. I only had to see her 3 times, and there was nothing to email about. <takes a deep breath>
For some reason, the "back to school" seems to bring out the crazy, in crazy ex.

Honestly, probably no response at all from you would have been better.

I know, I know... I get sucked into the repsonses as well. Sometimes I think I need to respond with a "as per our agreement, we'll be doing this" response, but really, should we? I am conflicted on this. One wants to show, that we tried to clarify the agreement...but honestly, they know the agreement. I know I need to stop doing this. We think, we clarify the agreement, "therefore we'll do it this way", and the reasonable expectation is that they will respond "sorry, yes you are right, I didn't understand that", but we are dealing with unreasonable people. :-)

I try to not respond at first, and then if I get 2 or 3 repeated "crazy demands", I use the "as per our agreement" reply. Not sure that helps either though.
  #27 (permalink)  
Old 09-04-2013, 03:59 PM
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FYI, this totally works by SMS as well: http://www.ottawadivorce.com/forum/f...68/#post146694

Simply download a picture onto your phone of yourself, or another picture, just like this one, and send that as your response to any ridiculous rants.
  #28 (permalink)  
Old 09-04-2013, 04:30 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by blinkandimgone View Post
FYI, this totally works by SMS as well: http://www.ottawadivorce.com/forum/f...68/#post146694

Simply download a picture onto your phone of yourself, or another picture, just like this one, and send that as your response to any ridiculous rants.
Hilarious.
  #29 (permalink)  
Old 09-05-2013, 12:32 AM
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Yup. Some of my faves:








Really, what's an appropriate response to that via text - what COULD he say?

And what's he going to do, complain to the judge that in response to the verbal abuse and ranting, I send him cute or funny pictures? REALLY??

  #30 (permalink)  
Old 09-05-2013, 12:57 AM
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Where's McDreamy's popcorn eating camel (or whatever the heck that was)? That'd be a good one too. Hilarious!
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