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Divorce Support This forum is for discussing the emotional aspects of divorce: stress, anger, betrayal of trust and more.

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  #21 (permalink)  
Old 10-17-2011, 02:56 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lost22 View Post
I'm struggling with how to accept this, how to get out of bed in the morning, wondering why he doesn't want to fight to save our marriage which was idyllic the first 7 years. We were best friends.
Start by being honest with yourself: you know the marriage was not perfect. You know where it was lacking. There is something that you or he was brushing under the carpet and hoping it would just go away during those 7 years.

Regardless, you can not go back in time to change things. Dwelling on the past usually only makes you more miserable. There is a simpler way to move on: start looking at other men. I mean that seriously and not as a joke.
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Old 10-22-2011, 02:43 PM
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Stay with you pain, breathe, eat, sleep (if you can), clean up (the house and addictions), focus on getting your health back, get counselling, be truthful (it sounds like you are), stay away from blame and criticism, stick to feelings and needs, curl up with friends, write to us folks who are here for you. Do the pain or you will do it again next time around.

The most incredible thing for me has been to see all things as teachers not problems (how Buddhist of me!) but really, anything that triggers me, hurts me, is my teacher and a lesson in my own journey to wellness.

Pema Chodron has an amazing book that i recommend for lots of clients in your shoes: When THings Fall Apart.

Triage the most important things. Get some help if you can't do things yourself.
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Old 11-01-2011, 12:15 AM
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Hi all, well its been a chitty week. I walked in on my husband of 23 yrs and his girlfriend( best friends wife). I have gotten over the initial shock of it... now I am in mourning... constantly breaking down. Ate my first real meal in days. Thank god I have my folks here for support and all my ( was ours, but not after finding out ) friends. I just am hoping that someone can tell me where to begin. I am at a total loss.
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