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Divorce Support This forum is for discussing the emotional aspects of divorce: stress, anger, betrayal of trust and more.

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Old 12-17-2005, 09:32 AM
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Default Settlement Conference Re-scheduled for the second time

Hey everyone:
I know it's been awhile since I have posted. I have been so busy with the new job, and the kidsm and X-mas. Not to mention that I had a pre-trial exam last week (Which was hell- it only lasted about 20 minutes - but I was so worked up before i went in I ended up crying at the end of it) The ex's lawyer really didn't know what to ask me however.

Anyways, my settlement conference was scheduled for Thursday. And at the last minute the ex calls his lawyer and tells him that he can't mak it becuse of the weather. ** Newsflash buddy, I made it into work, the lawyers were 5 minutes from the court housem and you have driven in worse weather drunk** But ofcourse they decided to reschedule the damn Settlement conference. Now the date is set for MAY. 5 Months away. Can you believe that shit.

I found out that day that my spousal support order was never issued either. FRO never got it because everyone keeps on messing up the paperwork etc... (The order was issued in AUGUST) and it may still take 2-3 weeks for me to get ny of that money.

Somedays I just want to scream.

Ok, so I have a question... I was always under the impression that you can't get a divorce until everthing else gets settled.... financial etc....
Is it true that I can ask my lawyer to apply for the divorce so I can be divorced even before we settle everything - and is it possible that this cn be settled before the court date in MAY???
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Old 12-17-2005, 12:57 PM
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Hi there.

Yes you can get your divorce before all other matters are settled as long as it is uncontested. It is called a basket divorce.

I know what you mean about the FRO crap! The endorsement from the judge was sent down to become an order in the beginning of September and it is still not done! The FRO cannot go ahead with it until it is. Apparently the court house is so back logged that they are still working on July orders. So I figure by the time I will have my file processed at FRO it will be sometime next june or later! Nice system we have.

My ex also played the same game on me with our last case conference, he said that he could not get out of work and therefore would not be able to attend. I agreed to allow it to be put over, for what was suppose to be 1 week, it is now going into week 2 and I am sure that I am not going to have any resolution anytime soon. Apparently the courts are backlogged for dates too, because we have not yet recieved a date from then for a motion to end this.

I thought that the children were suppose to be of the upmost importance in Family Law but it would seem not to be true, when they are not making sure that the orders for child support are not their top priority. I guess they figure kids can go without food, clothing, housing, xmas, etc until they get off their coffee breaks!

Be glad if you get it as soon as 2-3 weeks, highly doubtable, but I guess there is always a chance. By the way, if they are going to be taking support from his wages, it will definately be alot longer. Also note, an employer has to submit a payment within 30 days. So you will find that you will never recieve payments when they are actually said to be made.

Good Luck
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Old 12-17-2005, 11:59 PM
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This link should help:

http://www.ottawadivorce.com/sever.htm
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Old 12-18-2005, 09:38 PM
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Fresh Starts,

I am not sure why your settlement conference is scheduled so far in advance.

Either party can schedule this. I am sure that there dates available sooner.

Sounds like the other party is trying to buy some time.
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Old 01-26-2006, 09:21 AM
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That was the earliest date for the settlement conference that they could do.

OK, so as of last week I got my spousal support coming in. I won't know until later today whther they are going to be taking the arrears off that the ex still owes me. They said that they forgot to send that paperwork in to the ex's employee. Also note that my laywer did NOTHING to get the spousal support to FRO. I had to call FRO myself a number of times, and they finally told me that if I had the order that I should fax it to them. I faxed it out to them THREE times to make sure that they received it. It only took them a week to get everything in order.

I must also say that I quit my job. I could not work in my lawyers lawfirm anymore. She was doing NOTHING on my file while I was working for her, even though I begged her to do something. After I quit she finally opened up my file and decided to try to finish it. (Surprise Surprise) How this will effect my divorce and spousal / child support I have no clue. But I just could not work there any longer. There were a number of reasons why it was not to my advantage to be working an hour away from home and getting home late each night with my kids.
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Old 01-26-2006, 09:33 AM
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Fresh Starts,

Usually at the conclusion of a hearing, case conference, the court Registar issues a SDO immediately on the endorsement of the Judge. This support deduction order is automatically sent to the FRO. Not sure why this wasn't done in your case.

When the FRO receives the order they usually send a package to you for completion and also to calculate arrears if owing and banking information etc. They will want specifics in regards to your ex's employer etc.
You could speed up this process by requesting the package right away from the FRO.

I am surprised that your lawyer should of told you this information in regards to the support deduction order and how the FRO operates.

Also since it is a provincial government office contact your MPP for assistance with your dealings with the FRO. I know someone that went this route and they received lighting fast results. Almost overnight. Its is amazing that you can get this turn around time when you have an MPP assisting you.
MPP's know back door phone numbers to contact FRO directly.
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Old 01-26-2006, 06:23 PM
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This is true, Hubby. I've had to visit my MP on a few different occasions. First FRO was over a month late with my payment--as it turned out it was sitting there just waiting to be processed. Another occasion they deposited the support into the wrong bank account. Even so , once I saw my MP, it was remedied in record time!!
My support is always a month behind(apparently they all are) For example my order says the 15th of each month but I'll receive Jan in middle of Feb.FRO has until the 25 of the following month to get it to me.
Overall, considering the huge number of cases they're dealing with, they're pretty good.
The toll free no. is 1(800)267-7263 automated info
1(800)267-4330 speak to a rep.
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Old 01-26-2006, 08:53 PM
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whew messed up again--should have said "that's right Logicalvelocity". REALLY, I NOT AN AIRHEAD!!! HA. I,guess Ishould have taken my Omega 3-6-9 vitamine today
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