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Divorce Support This forum is for discussing the emotional aspects of divorce: stress, anger, betrayal of trust and more.

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  #11 (permalink)  
Old 02-10-2015, 04:48 PM
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I think your daughter is very fortunate to have the love and companionship of an older sister. You are young and it makes sense that you would move on with your life. Having a happy home is the important thing. Single people also have happy homes.

LF32's current living arrangement provides a nurturing, loving environment for his daughter. I raised an only child (by choice) and can say that now my son is an adult, and shunned from my ex and his family, he has no extended family. The relationships D3 has today with her new big sister may very well continue for the rest of her life. Important thing is that she is healthy and happy. She has both parents in her life. Her new step-mother and step-sister are bonuses for her. It sure beats isolation and loneliness!

We all make decisions, some are good decisions and some things we come to regret in the future. Having a positive forward-thinking attitude is the key to overcoming life's ups and downs. I say this because LF32 is doing the best he can do at this time and I commend him for trying to settle matters with his ex so everyone can get on with their lives.

I think it does little good to critique LF32's decision to live with his girlfriend and her daughter. It is what it is. The child custody issue should be centred on the best interests of the child not on LF32's love-life.
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Old 02-10-2015, 04:51 PM
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It is very good for your D3 to have an older step sister that she can relate too, especially now. As the mother of an only child (now an adult) I went out of my way to make sure that my son did not feel deprived. He had plenty of friends and cousins of both genders for sleep-overs and activities. These are precious memories and they still get together and laugh over some of their shannanigans.

From a legal point of view, I fail to see how this would not be a positive thing, proof once more that you are doing everything that you can to provide a loving, happy environment for your kidlet.

The only negative is pertaining to your Ex. She will most likely see this as another excuse to find fault with you. She will of course feel threatened (seems to be her calling-card ... Oh he's so mean to me, look how fast I was replaced). Though any judge with half a brain will see right through her games.

The best plan of action is to live your life happily and ignore the Ex unless absolutely necessary.

Keep up the good work!
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Old 02-10-2015, 05:08 PM
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Janibel - I think the ODF needs a segment for older gals like us so we can meet younger men with nice pensions!

Oh to be in love again - what fun that would be!
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Old 02-10-2015, 05:11 PM
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I think a lot of things that are acceptable in intact families get ridiculous in divorce. Siblings fight, sisters hate each other, things get messy. But because of a divorce, they get over analyzed. Focus on the stability your situation has on your child. Your ex doesnt have a stable living situation which is putting pressure on D3 and disrupting her emotionally. You having a new relationship with someone with a child isnt bad. It shows youre capable of stability and positive emotional interaction. That said, I agree with the side that says dont lean heavily on it just as I agree that its beneficial. Tread lightly. The main thing is the stability, focus, schedule, etc for D3.
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Old 02-10-2015, 05:12 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by arabian View Post
Janibel - I think the ODF needs a segment for older gals like us so we can meet younger men with nice pensions!

Oh to be in love again - what fun that would be!
That sounds like a good plan to me Arabian ... problem is LF32 already has a ladyfriend .... boooooo!

We could name the new segment Cougars with Ca$h lol!!!!
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Old 02-10-2015, 05:15 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Janibel View Post
That sounds like a good plan to me Arabian ... problem is LF32 already has a ladyfriend .... boooooo!

We could name the new segment Cougars with Ca$h lol!!!!
LMAOOOO ... you guys are a riot!!
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Old 02-10-2015, 05:30 PM
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Great that LF32 has a partner it's ridiculous to even debate it.

Better yet there is a sister for D3

Better yet it means LF32 has moved on....and Goldilocks won't

Better yet a partner to be weighed against numerous allegations from Goldilocks

At least it isn't a gay relationship since the Courts tend to want moms to be with daughters ...2 guys may be a little much for prehistoric Judges.

Goldilocks is a manipulating oppurtunist it matters little how petty she gets because of LF32's partner if anything it'll call the biotch out on what she really is.

The average marriage fails in 6 years....or is it the 7 year itch?...anyways why bother LF32 on where his relationship is going or if it will last....when 50 percent of every relationship fail regardless.

LF32 is in a new family unit and right now it works and it's stable with joibs, this should be played up to the MAX
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  #18 (permalink)  
Old 02-10-2015, 05:51 PM
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Better yet a partner to be weighed against numerous allegations from Goldilocks
Exactly my thinking as well. I'm not an abuser. I don't punch walls, etc. In disagreements I'm calm and a "hugger". My g/f cant get over how ex could say that against me. D8 thinks the world of me. I study with her, teach her magic, etc. We laugh and have a blast.

It's kind of hard to make allegations during my access with them here .. or keep allegations alive with my g/f and D8 seeing me and my personality on a daily basis.
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  #19 (permalink)  
Old 02-10-2015, 05:58 PM
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I pulled the points from pg1 ..although each point should be addressed fully.


(f) The potential and likelihood of the parent to abuse the power and control which would be granted to them, should circumstances warrant them to have sole custody status
.
Goldilocks stole power and control (child abduction) and instead of mitagating the matter purposely made allegations supported by secret recordings and STILL continuses down this path today.
Further if Goldilocks is given power and control it is certian RIGHT NOW that DAD will be gone. Goldilocks has to be ORDERED to get along..

Goldilocks has never approached LF32 on mediation or settlement it's all or nothing for her.

Goldilocks sticking to being a hostile victim means if given power and control...she'll make up another story and be gone. (once a runner always a runner)

Goldilocks made new allegations on top of the old ones!.

(g) The likelihood of each parent to respect and to comply to the best of their ability, all orders of the court or any mutual agreement between the parties

Fantastic oppurtunity to bring forward Goldilocks already denied access with a cionsent order in place.

All though the Judge blamed the OCL for it.....it was Goldilocks who started the trouble to begin with......to shut down access.and was successful.

Sofar Goldilocks is following the Motion Order but the intent of the order is on doing the access and parties to settle and move on......which SC Judge reinforced by allowing more time.

Again Goldilocks is back to all or nothing NOW looking to show LF32 unfit....hardly constructive and it leads no where.... and she's involving D3 in her "games" (corward)

Last edited by MrToronto; 02-10-2015 at 06:03 PM.
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  #20 (permalink)  
Old 02-10-2015, 06:33 PM
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I am also of the perspective to leave the girlfriend and her daughter out of it completely. It makes it sound like you are only an appropriate parent because the girlfriend is around.

You said that you were completely blindsided when your ex left, that you thought things were going well, reassured by a morning blowjob. You might not be the best judge of how secure a relationship is.

I understand trying to build a new life but it is less than a year since ex left. You moved in with g/f only a few months after your ex left. You were mad that ex was flaunting a "new Daddy" but what are you doing?

Your focus should be D3 not your g/f's daughter and making a new family.

You need to be able to stand in court on the merits of your own abilities, not the addition of the girlfriend and her child.

Also, other than Mr. Toronto and Rockscan, where are the men to weigh in on this thread? Since it will likely be a male judge, what do the men feel about this?
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