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Divorce Support This forum is for discussing the emotional aspects of divorce: stress, anger, betrayal of trust and more.

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  #11 (permalink)  
Old 07-14-2015, 06:10 PM
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Im familiar with the Ene Vs. Ene case law Rock. It's a good one. I wrote about it in my Maximum Contact Principle thread http://www.ottawadivorce.com/forum/f...20/index5.html

Since the motion things have been fine. She tries to keep me to stay and talk, we're civil.

That's the hard part. It seems like we're not even in court .. like we're functioning in our new co-parenting roles very well. We smile, we joke, we chat. This is SO weird.

Then her affidavits and court strategy paint a different picture. They're gruesome. They're so different from real life right now.

Hopefully the OCL can come in here and realize that we're good to co-parent .. jointly, or parallel. If there is anything high conflict occurring, it will not come from my end.

I still love the judges remarks here from Ene Vs. Ene (also in your link above):

Quote:
At paragraph 70, the Court writes:
“The end of a spousal relationship does not terminate the parent – child relationship. Nor does it terminate a child’s fundamental need for love, attachment and the support of each parent. A parent who intentionally removes the other parent from his or her child’s life commits an abuse upon the child.”

Last edited by LovingFather32; 07-14-2015 at 06:17 PM. Reason: entered quote
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  #12 (permalink)  
Old 07-14-2015, 10:06 PM
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Quote:
That's the hard part. It seems like we're not even in court .. like we're functioning in our new co-parenting roles very well. We smile, we joke, we chat. This is SO weird.
Play ball... this is in your favour.
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  #13 (permalink)  
Old 07-15-2015, 03:43 PM
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Hopefully Links.

So all throughout the communication book ex has consistently said that D4 is tired, needs 3 hours naps and is sick after access with me. I make sure to never overdo it and have her in bed at a normal hour for her age. She makes sure that's the first thing she writes. "D4 came home clingy, tired, needs naps, lumpy, etc".

Shes always full of energy here and wakes up full of energy right before her return. Guess this is just part of her strategy.

Will that crap ever stop?
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Old 07-15-2015, 05:45 PM
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Even when you win custody it won't stop.

You have to pray to the family court gods that Goldilocks remains unreasonable, hostile and making allegations right to the end...TO WIN BIG. (for the childs sake)

anyways moving on..
you have a right to inquire on and be given information from Goldilocks on health,education and welfare of D4....how's the request for information/addresses of various playgroups going....that you would like to have D4 continue going to during the summer on wed access?

Somebody played the parental rights card on information around a trampoline mishap...yet you can't play the same card around play groups...no information for dad...geeze...what happens if there's a mishap there?

have you tried offering arbritation? or collabroative law as a means to settle?

Justice Harvey Brownstone of the Ontario Court of Justice
"Many people prefer the Collaborative process because it allows them to maintain their privacy; the financial and personal details of their family breakdown are not accessible to the public in court files. Parents who have the maturity to appreciate that it is in their children's best interests that decisions be made in an atmosphere of mutual respect, dignity, and co-operation should explore the Collaborative family law process."

I see this matter as making it simple (on your end) and always looking to mediate or have a LAO settlement conference or use whatever tools avaliable to (offer) to settle.

Let the OP keep things complicated.

ALL thats left is Joint or shared..or parrallel

Law Firm in Manitoba called Fishman Beley has this nice procdureal blurb

http://www.fbfamilylaw.mb.ca/links.html

I suggest always to re-read the OP REPLY to your origional APPLICATION (revise it to get rid of the fluff ..repeated) and see were you are at with the OP cliams against you.

1) your a Parent
2) with a best interest parenting plan
3) an I'm the sane most reasonable parent.

Have you destroyed the OP claims against you YET...must have with drug tests ..motion...booze tests....no cop records..

In roads have had to of been made on discrediting Goldilocks (for the pleasure of a Judge)..from affadavits....contradictory statements/actions

Has Goldilocks ever been requested FLAT OUT ..to do a drug/booze test...because (added to the steaming pile) she only admitted later she did both (for OCL)

I harp alot on the withheld name Counseluer XXX

Goldilocks PLANNED child abduction to garner custody and has maintained the frivilous allegations in the hopes of a win and go to Quebec.

Goldilocks hasn't changed her stance since DAY 1..but lots has changed.

OCL report was tossed in the garbage......has the world collapsed? As Goldilocks said it would (and OCL..lmao)

Last edited by MrToronto; 07-15-2015 at 05:48 PM.
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Old 07-17-2015, 11:32 AM
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Quote:
how's the request for information/addresses of various playgroups going....that you would like to have D4 continue going to during the summer on wed access?
Just drafted this up Mr. T. I'm a little confused what's open in the summer and whats not. She said the Wed one was not but then asked me to pick D4 up there in Wednesday because they organized a wednesday event.

Anyway .. MIL got season passes to parc Safari in QC ex told me. They basically run to QC every time she gets dropped of.

Quote:
have you tried offering arbritation? or collabroative law as a means to settle?
Yep .. thats being sent of also. Med-Arb is also a good alternative. Ex did mention in the communication book that she would like to try and settle at least "some" issues out of court. Med-Arb is Mediation .. and whatever issues are unresolved are adjudicated in arbitration.
Quote:
Let the OP keep things complicated
This is the easy part. I just want to move on, stay out of court and focus on D4. OP wants a bloody man-eating war...even if it means building a case from scratch at the last minute.

Quote:
Have you destroyed the OP claims against you YET...must have with drug tests ..motion...booze tests....no cop records..
Their claims: Emotional abuse/Substance abuse: Hair follicle,

Abuse: police reports, CAS reports, Motion judge decision, etc.

Plus .. ex decided to add many many new items that are absent from her original statement. Not a good idea IMO.

They have the recording's Mr. T. And perhaps some texts/e-mails of minor arguments over the last 8 years. We may have been a lot of things ... not abusive.

Also, don't forget that all my texts were deleted and she always had access to my cell (I left it at home b'c land line at work). I even called Rogers several times to see if there was an issue. Was she sending texts from my hone to hers then deleting? Don't know. Hope not. But she id an aweful lot of other planning.

Quote:
Has Goldilocks ever been requested FLAT OUT ..to do a drug/booze test...because (added to the steaming pile) she only admitted later she did both (for OCL)
Yes. But only via e-mail to her lawyer by me when I was a self-rep. But in the CC the judge told LAO (when he requested it for me) that ex would have to get one too if that were to happen...but even then it wouldnt tell the whole story".

I went and got one voluntarily. Ex refused and ignored.

Quote:
Goldilocks hasn't changed her stance since DAY 1..but lots has changed.
Ex wants to persevere on the past ... as if we're still together. Youre right Mr. T, Tons has changed. She needs to move on.
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  #16 (permalink)  
Old 07-17-2015, 08:35 PM
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I finally found the contact info and extension of the individual I spoke with from missingkids.ca after the abduction.

We spoke a good 4-5 times last year. A very nice lady. She said she would draft a letter and send it to me .. just stating that I contacted them and some other details.

Just adds to my non - acquiescence stance. Called 911, called her mom, contacted missingkids.ca, started application, texts to ex begging to see D4, begged lawyer to go for EM. Access requests/denials out the ying yang. They cant really try and say I was okay with it and waited. No way!

It was nice to chat with her. I'm happy we have services like that.
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  #17 (permalink)  
Old 07-17-2015, 08:46 PM
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I'm sending ex this:
Quote:
Hi ____,

I would like to offer that perhaps we explore "Arbitration" (we present our case with or without our counsel to an arbitrator, who gives a decision), or "Med-Arb" (Go through mediation first and any unresolved issues go through arbitration).

Another great alternative for us would be exploring Collaborative Family Law. This will help us bring a peaceful and equitable conclusion without the win-lose factor.

I think that we make a good co-parenting team and I believe that we can move forward without the costly, combative, excessive litigation, which in my opinion is not in D4's best interests on any level.

There are many tools available for settlement that we have not yet explored. Would you be willing to explore these, or any other alternatives?

Thanks,

LF32
Hey .. you never know.
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  #18 (permalink)  
Old 07-17-2015, 10:54 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LovingFather32 View Post
I'm sending ex this:

Hey .. you never know.
Update the wording to read as an offer to settle. That way you can bring it back if matters move forward and a costs determination needs to be made. There are ways to do this without it sounding too official and still having a flow of communications to it.
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Old 07-18-2015, 01:27 AM
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Good idea Takyen. It would need to say this offer remains open until trial too right? Time expiry? And be signed...so not just emailed.
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  #20 (permalink)  
Old 07-18-2015, 09:59 AM
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Good advice .. thanks!!

Well .. today's my B-Day!! 34 years young. Wishing everyone on the forum's a super day!
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