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Divorce Support This forum is for discussing the emotional aspects of divorce: stress, anger, betrayal of trust and more.

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  #1 (permalink)  
Old 07-08-2015, 10:20 PM
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Default Royal Road To Trial

I never thought I'd fall in to the 4% but here I am .. headed to trial. I tried everything in my power to settle at 50/50, shared custody but my ex simply wants sole or nothing.

Every ounce of access I've fought for...and fought hard. EOW and every Wednesday wasn't consented to. It was ordered. If ex had it her way it would be supervised 1-3 hours/week. (Actually she was forced to give that too).

The past is the past. The present and future is what matters. Whatever her issue is, whether it be moving to QC, wanting a free ride, etc .. she needs to focus on what we can do now and moving on. I think that's a fair statement.

Most hear my threads and assume that I seek out and have dialogue over my ex's negative traits in court. Not the case my friends. In court I say over and over that I' will always respect and encourage her role in D4's life.

I can assure you that her actions will be spoken about here. If this is bothersome to some than I apologize well in advance. In my reality this is the best place to discuss and make sense of them. Like I said in my very fist posts .. if I were actually abusive than this may have been a tad easier to take in .. at least I'd know why.

So here we have it.

1. D4 get's no J/K this coming Sept (Some here call that a "win" for ex. I call it a "lose" for D4)! But good for ex for needing more bonding time (she robbed nearly a year of mine).

2. OCL is coming for round 2.

I'm actually kind of excited for this. I may have a predisposition to PTSD symptoms from the last one .. but it's an update. In no way should it be going over all of the past false allegations.

The endorsement stipulates that D4 has embarked on a new schedule and much more time with her father and this was the reason for the update.

GREAT!! D4's doing very well here. Tons of love, affection, bonds and comfort. I really don't see how anything could go awry. Yes OP will work relentlessly to poison her just as they did the last time with untested, manufactured rubbish.

But won't that work against them? With me looking to the present and future and OP not being able to let go of the past?

As an example:

D.L.W Vs. J.J.M.W (2005)

Quote:
...the court found that they were suffering irreparable harm living in the care of their environment that she provided. She was distrustful to everyone, did not encourage contact with her father, believed that children should be exposed to as little outside influence as possible, had no extended family, could not let go of past issues.
A change in status quo was warranted in order to protect their long-term best interests.
I have done quite a bit of research on status quo and although I do understand that sometimes even forced status quo (unilateral removal, false allegations) will be maintained to the abducting parent in the best interests of the child, many cases such as the above are surfacing.

Judges are catching on and they don't like it. And rightly so. Examples are being made in family law as we see time and time again on this forum with caselaw and stories from some of our top poster's.

My ex can live in the past slinging mud all day if she likes...

But, I'm here for the present and the future for D4.

I think that's more important and definitely in her best interests!

Come trial I will have studied my case thoroughly, will be well-prepared emotionally and mentally .. and I will fight to have 50/50 shared custody .. of which D4 rightly deserves, alternative sole.

Last edited by LovingFather32; 07-08-2015 at 10:22 PM. Reason: spelling
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Old 07-08-2015, 10:56 PM
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Hurrah LF32! I certainly am heartened by the determination and positiveness of the start of this thread! I think you are heading in the right direction, that being forward-thinking.

I think it is extremely important for your case that any access you currently have has been through court Order. This shows that your ex would not encourage maximum contact should she have custody.

Keep positive!
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Old 07-09-2015, 10:39 AM
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Default OP building case from scratch ; Child's Behaviors

Quote:
Originally Posted by arabian View Post
Hurrah LF32! I certainly am heartened by the determination and positiveness of the start of this thread! I think you are heading in the right direction, that being forward-thinking.

I think it is extremely important for your case that any access you currently have has been through court Order. This shows that your ex would not encourage maximum contact should she have custody.

Keep positive!
Yes Arabian. All access I've had, has been court-ordered. The Maximum Contact Principle (as seen another thread of mine) continues to play a large role in my case.

It's also quite obvious that OP are trying to invent issues along the way (shrink shopping, etc). The multitude of allegations have been scrapped (after thorough analysis of all the facts). OP needs to stop attempting to build their case from scratch and focus on the present and the future for D4.

I can't say for sure that my skill sets in behavior management have anything to do with D4's delightful behavior here (no tantrums, sleeps alone, etc), but perhaps it does play a role. It's not an ego thing by any means. It's my job to be kicked, hit, spit at and called to classrooms when a behavior erupts. (Mind you its much better than when I was being attacked by grown adults in group homes when I was a residential counselor).

My point is that the behaviors are occurring at ex's (she says) and not my residence. Judges will look at this.

In Hills Vs. Hills (2004):

Quote:
The youngest child, although not doing particularly well in the father's care, was ordered to remain with him as it was not believed that the mother could effectively deal with the child's difficult behavior.
Thus, OP should tread lightly with this court strategy they're using.
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Old 07-09-2015, 04:54 PM
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With regard to case law there's a disconnect from a Judge blathering over his/her finding(s) along with the eventual Judgement at the bottom of page

Judge adds 1 partys stuff to the other partys stuff..to draw a conclusion. I am a firm believer that cases are pre-decided even before a Judge wanders into the Courtroom.

I use to read a ton of case law years ago and a lot of it could of gone either way or each party had valid pleadings and may of lost by just a hair.

Too much case law you think as you read goes one way...then goes the other way as a Judges pretends to be wrestleing or weighing the garbage...zzzzzz...snore...GET TO THE POINT!

Of course Judges twist the caselaw around to suit thier on purposes (of the day) and (to me) just use case law as a guidleline to ensure that they ain't making new law.

Knowing the various Laws and Acts and how it fits with your situation along with some good added FACTS (evidence) goes along way in winning (where the Judge has pretty much already decided in chambers)....meaning all the Judge has to do is stay awake through the questioning gibberish until the day both parties shut up.

The below (above post) just shows me that the Judge already knew the facts on the ground and just rambled away on WHY. I don't even have to read the entire case law.

The youngest child, although not doing particularly well in the father's care, was ordered to remain with him as it was not believed that the mother could effectively deal with the child's difficult behavior.

When one parent is unfit.....the other gets custody....SIMPLE.
Was there a need for a long Trial or Motion? to establish this result?

This is were LF32 is headed....the OBVIOUS being kicked down the road until he's forced into a Trial.....for some old man/woman in a robe to read LF32's and Goldilock's Trial Record and find the other parent UNFIT or Hostile....but sit for days ANYWAYS doing a crossword puzzle so both parties can enjoy due process.
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Old 07-10-2015, 10:29 PM
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Yeah .. I get the due process Mr. T. I Also agree that the judges have a pretty good idea of their choice well before the circus begins in the court room.

One party will be seen as living in the past .. and one will be focusing on the future, equipped with a stellar parenting plan.

What are the chances I wonder that ex might not go through with it? .. and will LAO actually fund this trial?
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Old 07-11-2015, 11:54 AM
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Sincerity

That's what drives this currently

Some Judges don't believe Goldilocks and some are wasting your time ($) to find sincerity over Goldilocks's various allegations.

I like the Judges that see Goldilocks as a lair

But your in the conference/motion phase so the lair is going to keep lying until a Trial

You've made large gains on every front....dumping allegations/getting mobility restriction/access. (you ain't losing them gains at Trial)

Trial will be important to show Goldilocks's insincerity.

Goldilocks's had the opportunity to just leave with the child and go to the OLD GOATs.....she didn't

Instead she used her paralegal brain and hatched a PLAN with counsellor XXX.

SHE had no URGENCY to leave a abusive relationship because she waited making recordings.

Remember she was TOLD to bump into you and call the cops...that's standard advice (counselling I mean)....she didn't do that.

Nope the paralegal mind assumed just waiting and gathering evidence or manufacturing evidence was good enuff.

YOU don't wait 8 months in a abusive relationship.....you get the heck out...or get out quicker and the victim peeps will come back and get personal belongings later

Goldilocks cannot fall back on.....couples counselling....or met with the local priest to work on the relationship problems, or called the cops..ZERO history of relationship troubles

You don't make allegations after you leave. (after casually stopping by cop shop to cover the trail)

You don't drop the old allegations and add different allegations

Goldilocks should not of said "it's just a process"......because victims don't say stuff like that

Sincerity....Credibility....it all ENDS when the LAO scumbag gives Goldilocks the CHANCES of success and the consequences of losing.

Footnote

Counsellor XXX....falls under the WHO WHAT WHERE and WHY that a OCL would typically ask/need.

Which of course a victim would eagerly provide...names dates places and subject manure.

Would a OCL accept "oh yes and last year I met with XXX (my friend Julie) and we discussed YYY (had lunch)"

Would a OCL purposely omit "who or where" to build a history for Goldilocks's or omit a person that didn't want to get involved?...is my point...because a Judge will not believe a OCL didn't get WHO WHAT WHERE and WHY it's unprofessional investigative stuff.

Now it's anybody's guess who counsellor XXX is......and my bet is Goldilocks went to Quebec to the OLD GOATs one week long ago with the intention of never coming back

and met up with counsellor XXX in OLD GOATS city in Quebec where a PLAN was hatched.....Goldilocks came back to LF32 town to do the dirty deed

OP knew last year LF32 was ranting Goldilocks only intention was to book to Quebec (may CC I think).

Would Goldilocks think...hmmm....if I told OCL that Counsellor XXX was from Quebec it may be a credibility thing or did she tell OCL

OCL was biased by OP....and certainly didn't probe for details on Counsellor XXX...but boy o boy did OCL wait for stuff and dig for stuff against LF32

OCL may of went out of it's way to help...a party...(NO WAY!...unbelievable!)

just a thought on SINCERITY..an a little on Credibility.....I'm also a big FAN of

IF YOUR NOT GETTING RESULTS IT'S BECAUSE THE RIGHT QUESTIONS AREN'T BEING ASKED.

Last edited by MrToronto; 07-11-2015 at 12:11 PM.
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Old 07-11-2015, 02:07 PM
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If your ex had to pay for her own lawyer then I suspect this wouldn't have gone much beyond her stomping out of the matrimonial home and staying with her mother with D4.

Legal aid has fed the demon and wasted tax payers's money. Legal aid has denied legitimate victims of abuse, valuable resources by continuing on this charade of assisting an individual who has repeatedly shown to have no credibility.

The only sincerity your ex has is that she is sincere in her desire to ruin you financially, and to destroy your business reputation (good name) and deny you unfettered access to your daughter. Reason - money and freedom to dump her kid at grandmother's place, live a carefree lifestyle - all paid for by you and the good taxpayers of Ontario a/or Quebec.

Keep your guard up as she is bound to try another boner, right around the time the OCL starts visiting. She's kind of predictable isn't she?
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Old 07-14-2015, 08:42 AM
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Default Asking the right Q's

Quote:
Originally Posted by MrToronto View Post
Goldilocks's had the opportunity to just leave with the child and go to the OLD GOATs.....she didn't
Yes, she could have left any time she wished. In fact she visited QC many times while I was working. Why return with our child if there was so much abuse?

Quote:
Originally Posted by MrToronto View Post
SHE had no URGENCY to leave a abusive relationship because she waited making recordings.
Judge didn't like this. Neither did my lawyer. I remember reading a bunch of case law where the judge slammed the parent who claimed abuse but stayed anyways with the child. (Wait .. she never claimed abuse until after she left and 8 years of a great relationship with no pertinent issues or police involvement).
In my case, not only did my ex make up fairy tales, but she stayed and tried to instigate arguments....and still was unsuccessful .. so took off.
I clearly remember her voice being louder than usual on many occasions.

I remember waking up and her yelling at me "You only go to work to be away from me .. Go make money so I can spend it"!! Then she would walk in to another room. I remember being so damn confused about stuff like that. Of course now I know she was walking in to another room to push record to see if I responded. (Who does that?)

Quote:
and met up with counsellor XXX in OLD GOATS city in Quebec where a PLAN was hatched.....Goldilocks came back to LF32 town to do the dirty deed
Yes, and ex has also sought out therapists in QC who can determine if you are too incapacitated to work. I posted about this months ago. So yes Mr. T .. she's not shy from talking to counselor's in QC.

Quote:
OCL was biased by OP....and certainly didn't probe for details on Counsellor XXX...but boy o boy did OCL wait for stuff and dig for stuff against LF32
Previous OCL wrote pages and pages from ex's mom, ex's friends .. basically ex's entire camp. She refused to contact my collateral's that would have illustrated my parenting abilities.
My mom said she kept asking her if she had a bar or alcohol in her home ..

OCL spent time and resources investigating my hair follicle test to ensure it was supervised and legit. (Remember I did it voluntarily .. no order).

OCL didnt like my supervisor and got ex to shut down access (remember, no order for supervision).

OCL said men shouldn't be bathing their daughters on access visits and called CAS saying "she wasnt sure what she was reporting but something sounded wrong). Access shut down for weeks.

So yes .. I have very little faith in OCL right now. And I hope to god a real specialist comes in this time.

Quote:
IF YOUR NOT GETTING RESULTS IT'S BECAUSE THE RIGHT QUESTIONS AREN'T BEING ASKED.
Agreed Mr. T. Perhaps that's a good catalyst for a subsequent discussion. Am I not asking the right q's? If not, I need to start doing so.

Last edited by LovingFather32; 07-14-2015 at 08:57 AM.
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Old 07-14-2015, 08:50 AM
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Default Paying her own way

Quote:
Originally Posted by arabian View Post
If your ex had to pay for her own lawyer then I suspect this wouldn't have gone much beyond her stomping out of the matrimonial home and staying with her mother with D4.

Legal aid has fed the demon and wasted tax payers's money. Legal aid has denied legitimate victims of abuse, valuable resources by continuing on this charade of assisting an individual who has repeatedly shown to have no credibility.

The only sincerity your ex has is that she is sincere in her desire to ruin you financially, and to destroy your business reputation (good name) and deny you unfettered access to your daughter. Reason - money and freedom to dump her kid at grandmother's place, live a carefree lifestyle - all paid for by you and the good taxpayers of Ontario a/or Quebec.

Keep your guard up as she is bound to try another boner, right around the time the OCL starts visiting. She's kind of predictable isn't she?
Arabian .. if my ex had to pay her own way this would be settled right now. LAO has paved the yellow brick road and she's laying in the Opium filled field before reaching OZ, sleeping and enjoying the ride. Writing sloppy, allegation-filled affidavits that make barely any sense.

On a sidenote:

I have nothing against LAO nor Welfare. When I speak about these agencies I'm not generalizing to ANYTHING else except my own experience and the torment Im going through. I understand there are real victims out there and I know these agencies are needed and often a blessing in society. My threads pertain to "my" own case. (Hope that clears it up for a few PM'ers).

My ex however, is playing them like a violin. She is becoming a fantastic musician.
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Old 07-14-2015, 04:19 PM
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Saw this today: http://blog.separation.ca/parental-a...-intervention/

How have things been since the order?
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