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Divorce Support This forum is for discussing the emotional aspects of divorce: stress, anger, betrayal of trust and more.

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Old 04-12-2012, 04:09 PM
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Ok, so this is good. Nice to know everyone feels like this. I have amazing friends also, both male and female, that have, I feel, sheltered me from the worst of it.
My question is, from the dates of these posts this conversation was last summer. Of any of you that have posted, how you are feeling, is it better now?
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Old 05-30-2012, 04:54 PM
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I'm new to this seperation stuff, but not new to the loneliness of my marriage. Today I feel like crap. I know I want the marriage to just be done, but it's the devil I know. I feel so depressed today. The x is like a machine going through the motions and I'm just an emotional retard.
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Old 05-30-2012, 06:30 PM
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Hey Karver, Hang in there. On my bad days I alway try and remind myself that tomoorrow is a new day and it will be better.
I too was lonely in my marriage. Try and surround yourself with freinds if you can. I find they have been my lifesavers.
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Old 05-31-2012, 12:13 PM
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I guess it just really sucks for me because we are still under same roof. today is a new day and so far I do feel better. Plus x is leaving for weekend tomorrow so I'm looking forward to that.
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Old 05-31-2012, 12:22 PM
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Karver:

You have my sympathies, I did the in-home separation thing for over a year and a half and it was one of the most trying times of my life.

I stayed out of the house as much as possible...and luckily, I had a new partner who I with on weekends.

A lot of hotels...a lot of eating lunch and dinner in my car down by the river (yea I know...Chris Farley)...a lot of very long walks and trips to the mall.

The divorce game is tough...its never going to be fair...you're not going to get everything that you hoped for but you will gain freedom, peace, and an understanding of how strong you are. Hang in there.
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Old 06-04-2012, 10:54 PM
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I did the same house separation too. For almost a year, and yes it sucks ass :s Very draining. I would often put off coming home as long as possible. On warm summer days I'd go park by the lake and read or just look out at the water trying to wrap myself in just a few moments of calm. I'd even stop @a Cemetery near my house. It has beautiful manicured gardens and fountains, with benches to sit on. Sounds a little strange I guess, but it was so peaceful and quiet. There were usually a few other people there, tending to the flowers around a loved one's grave. And then there was me, just wanting a brief time of peace and quiet and to feel the sun on my face. Then I'd get into my car, drive the few minutes home with a sinking feeling that increased the closer I got to the house.

Find your moments and your places that give you peace. Yoga is supposed to be amazing although I've never tried it. I have gone to the gym religiously throughout all of this and I've found it to be a huge help in so many ways. I realized as well that it seemed like one of the few things I could control. Meaning the way I looked. But it also helped how I felt. I still have days where I feel I've been beaten with a large stick, but I know I'd feel a lot worse if I was not exercising. Reading is good too. I find it can "take me away" for a little while. Good Luck. You will find freedom. It's inside you. True freedom will come from within.
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Old 06-06-2012, 02:29 AM
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Thanks All. I try and stay away when he's around, I do have some hobbies.
Luckily stbx works alot, although he's really become a much more involved dad since the split. It seems like seperation is working well for him. He's even giving me the time of day now. Ahhh, life is funny.
I've been feeling better the past few days. I'm sure that will come and go. BUT I am feeling happier being seperate from this person, eventhough under same roof. It only really sucks now when I see his car pull up. Anxiety or what!! But I guess it's always been that way.
I'm getting a taste of peace at times now and I do like it! I've still got a long way to go in this yet....
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Old 06-08-2012, 05:21 PM
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((hugs)) and best wishes!!

What saw me through those trying times, was just allowing myself to feel sad, or angry, or whatever the emotion of the day was. I no longer tried to bury it or deny it.... once I poured it out (in a constructive manner) I could take a deep breath and move on....

Good friends, close family, wine, and yoga were all things I used to help find a bit of peace....

It absolutely sucks going through it, and it will feel like a roller coaster for some time...... but hold on to the little glimmer of hope that when you feel down and out, the coaster will go back up!! Slowly, but it will get there......

((hugs))
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