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Divorce Support This forum is for discussing the emotional aspects of divorce: stress, anger, betrayal of trust and more.

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Old 07-07-2011, 08:11 PM
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Default Roller Coaster of Emotions

How does everyone deal with the loneliness and the roller coaster of emotions? I seem to have days where the pendulum of emotions swings from one end to the other .... I can't find balance ... it's making me crazy!
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Old 07-07-2011, 08:31 PM
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Yep! I feel the crazy.

The goal find calm inside the chaos.

Do I manage this everyday? Nope

Do I manage this somedays? Yep

What helps me?
Mediation
Going for walks
being proactive
talking to a counsellor.
Reading
Watching movies
Talking to my friends.
Going for dinner.
Chatting on Ottawadivorce.com
Accomplishing small goals.
Forgiving myself when my head is spinning and show up for work late because I thought it was tuesday and it was really thurs. lol
Having a hot bath.
Hugging my children.
Kissing my partner.
Praying a lot.

Point being finding pleasure in the small things and trying to let go of the need to control what is simply not in my control.

Is it a roller coaster I want off - Absolutely. But as Nietzsche said "what does kill you makes you stronger".
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Old 07-07-2011, 10:05 PM
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Default yep ...

Ya, thank god I have an amazing friend (who lives in another Province) but who texts with me and calls me all the time - I'm talking 20 times a day since last August!! Without his support I would not have the confidence and be making such great progress. It seems when he calls I am calm and relaxed with everything in perspective within minutes. It rears its ugly head again but he never gives up on me - he's just the most incredible person I've ever met! I am truly thankful for having him in my life!

I also have good friends here which is a godsend. One friend in particular who is always there for me ...

Funny - the 2 most supportive people in my life are MEN .... they have given me such confidence and they both really believe in me which is nice. They run to my rescue (either in person or on the phone) and help me out and their support is never ending -- no strings attached!! They support me personally and in my career which is awesome! It also gives me hope that I will have someone special in my life who will treat me right! I adore them both!

My kids are also good but they don't want to get involved (funny, when I needed them when we split they sided with their dad -- now they don't want to hear any of it) ... but I guess that's good too -- they see that even though I left it wasn't all me ... thank goodness we sorted that out! My two supporters told me it would sort out but it was hard to believe at the time.

It's always nice to know that I'm "normal" with these feelings .... sometimes I feel like I can barely cope (until I call in the troops!) but when I read some of the threads I think I'm lucky and I have it together (for the most part). A lot of people have it WAAAAAY worse than me. I don't have custody issues (my kids are grown) and I have a career and making decent money, I own my own house and I live in a different city so I have no one to "stalk" me or run into me if I'm out.

Thanks for your response!!!!
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Old 07-13-2011, 11:40 PM
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Sax, you give me hope.
Only seperated for 3 months with 3 young kids. It was my decision and am know that I will happier and better off - something I had to do for my own wellbeing and can't ever go back. But some days feel like I am going to loose it with all the crap to wade through. I have a good male friend who has been supporting me and running to my rescue, touches base every day to make sure I am ok and not asking for anything in return. He keeps telling me that I will eventually get out on the other side in a better place but I find it hard to believe.
Guess I am not alone in these feelings ....maybe just normal.
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Old 07-15-2011, 08:01 AM
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I think it's just important that we all can see that we are experiencing the same emotions. Even though our situations are different our feelings are basically the same.

Are there any groups that you can actually go to in person and meet people and perhaps plan social events? If anyone knows ....

Just having people to do things with helps! Even if it's just a coffee or a walk in the park!
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Old 07-15-2011, 09:01 AM
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Meetup.com!
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Old 07-15-2011, 06:41 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by karmaseeker View Post
But as Nietzsche said "what does kill you makes you stronger".
Methinks, rather, that "what does kill you" makes you dead

Cheers!

Gary
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Old 07-15-2011, 06:47 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gary M View Post
Methinks, rather, that "what does kill you" makes you dead

Cheers!

Gary


HAHAHA oooops.
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Old 07-15-2011, 07:25 PM
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aBkVV9xxCHE
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Old 07-27-2011, 02:33 AM
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I can relate. I was a total mess for the first few months even though it was my idea for the split. It DOES get better and you will find things that eventually take your mind off of the split, even for a little while. Then you will notice the times you think about it get fewer and fewer. There is a reason you split (I don't know yours, I'm just saying in general) and you will soon find yourself again and probably be much happier. Good luck!
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