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Divorce Support This forum is for discussing the emotional aspects of divorce: stress, anger, betrayal of trust and more.

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Old 12-11-2010, 01:31 PM
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Karmaseeker,

First I have to clarify that ALL parents are let off the hook in court - not just Mom's. My husband has been abusive, threatened to take my son, driven his car towards us and continued a campaign of terror against me and he's been told that he needs a few visits with a therapist and he'll be fine. The courts mandate is to have the child with BOTH parents regardless of their slip-ups. They'll always be encouraged to give them another chance.

The advice above is great - keep positive, do your best to stay out of the game that she's playing and do your best not to let it get to you as it is essentially out of your control what she does. The kids will eventually get it and they will eventually get a say in who they want to live with and who they want a relationship with. Look forward to that day as best you can.

I think the legal route sometimes becomes inevitable but it's also a bit of a crap-shoot. When you're dealing with the legal system, don't assume anything. The judge probably won't know your situation as you do so be sure to be clear about your entire case. Keep notes with dates etc. that you can use in court should it come to that.

The process is tough, but there are some positives out there - learning is one I try to hold on to! Time will benefit - it gets easier!
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Old 12-11-2010, 08:13 PM
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My legal fees for just the trial which lasted 2 weeks were almost $100,000

I was awarded $63, 000
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Old 12-11-2010, 08:18 PM
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I answered on a diff page...not very computer literate. court costs close to $100k. I was awarded $63,000
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Old 12-11-2010, 09:28 PM
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$100,000. DTTE I hope you have a good cash advance,,,, Ima gona need it..... Maybe I should return those boots..

And two weeks, is that normal?
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Old 12-11-2010, 10:18 PM
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Oh no, you're not. Keep those boots. And custody.
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Old 12-14-2010, 05:16 PM
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Default conflict resolution tactic

I spent years in land use planning and conflict resolution and now have found myself in the middle of my own divorce. One conflict resolution tactic that I have learned is to accurately repeat the other parties concerns back to them (also called 'mirroring'). This demonstrates that you have heard their concerns which is often the single most important step in moving forward.

It takes a lot of practice and discipline and something that I work on constantly. Hope this helps.
Garnet
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