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Divorce Support This forum is for discussing the emotional aspects of divorce: stress, anger, betrayal of trust and more.

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Old 06-09-2013, 12:29 PM
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Default One of the best articles i have read on divorce situations.

The last word: He said he was leaving. She ignored him. - The Week

enjoy!
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Old 06-09-2013, 01:13 PM
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That is just a weird, unrealistic story. Do you think it's the best you have read because it's a complete fantasy?
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Old 06-09-2013, 03:10 PM
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So they had no relationship because they had no communication, and when he tried to talk to her she shut the conversation down, and she made the decision about what he was really thinking.

And then she ignored the situation for months and let if fester, doing nothing to restore communication.

And then magically it was all better. Because there was never anything wrong with their marriage, it was nothing to do with her, everything was perfect all along, because it was the situation she wanted, so it must be good.

The end.
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Old 06-09-2013, 03:24 PM
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I dont know about women, but men do certainly need distance some times. they just want to be left alone. in this case the man needed distance for an extended period of time. perhaps he hadn't had that chance in a while. he was unable to realize what he really wanted, but she did understood him correctly and at the end it all worked out.

I admire her for not being quick about breaking up, but instead dealing with it strategically, you may disagree with her strategy, but at the end it worked. breakup should really be the last resort and should certainly not be in cases where kids are involved but a spouse has just "fallen out of love", love needs nurturing and that nurturing is not simple, its complicated, it takes time and wisdom. this relationship had no history of abuse, it simply went through a phase which could have ended the relationship and impacted the children if the wife wasn't wise enough.
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Old 06-09-2013, 03:41 PM
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Complete fantasy.

People need distance because something is wrong and they're looking for happiness elsewhere.

Staying in an unhappy marriage can be a lot worse for the kids then divorce.

He was unhappy in the marriage and wanted out. She ignored him, blamed him, refused to take any responsibility, and kept going as usually. He did his own thing for a while and then came back like nothing happened. She gloats, and he tells her to go write an essay... like one big happy family.
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Old 06-09-2013, 03:42 PM
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I just find it really hard to believe the story.
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Old 06-09-2013, 08:29 PM
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I bet he met someone else, but it didn't work out or something and he went back to the wife because he didn't know what else to do. So now their relationship is right back to where it was before, and nothing is solved.

And notice that he was intending to move out and leave the kids behind with the wife? Now there's a self-centred man.
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Old 06-09-2013, 08:40 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rioe View Post
I bet he met someone else, but it didn't work out or something and he went back to the wife because he didn't know what else to do. So now their relationship is right back to where it was before, and nothing is solved.

And notice that he was intending to move out and leave the kids behind with the wife? Now there's a self-centred man.
that sounds plausable.
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Old 06-10-2013, 05:06 PM
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The story may be unplausable, however, my take-away from this is, don't blame someone else for your own un-happiness.

In this story he blamed his wife. Said he didn't like who she had become. She was giving him the space he needed to sort it out, before incurring legal fees.

For all we know he did go talk to lawyer and found out about support payments. Some people do this, talk to a lawyer, then go back to the relationship for a few years, and get all their ducks in row. Become involved parents, supportive spouses, so that the impact of support payments are lessened. And then leave the relationship for good.

At the end of the article, she did say that they began to talk and communicate what was going on for the both of them. Maybe he was better able to articulate what he needed at this time. Who knows.

I hope in the end it did work out for them and anyone reading the article takes a step back from their own un-happiness before blaming their partner.

Divorce is not easy and shouldn't be the first solution.
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Old 06-10-2013, 05:10 PM
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I couldn't decide after reading this who was more pathetic...the man or the woman.

The man...who can't make a real commitment, who spends a summer ignoring his kids, and who eventually returns back like a whipped dog because its easier to be miserable in a crappy marriage with a control-freak wife than to seek fulfillment in life.

Or...

The woman who actually wants such a "man" (and I use the term lightly) for a husband...and would wait around while he clearly shows her how unstable and uncommitted he is...not just to their relationship but too their kids.

If he had found something better that summer...he would have taken off.

Ugh...soooo many people living their lives this way in crappy, unhappy marriages while dreaming of the life they really want. Pathetic story and pathetic woman for feeling triumphant in writing it. She sure stuck it out there for a real winner of a guy...lol.
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