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Divorce Support This forum is for discussing the emotional aspects of divorce: stress, anger, betrayal of trust and more.

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  #21 (permalink)  
Old 07-12-2012, 05:20 PM
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There are a lot of Deatbeat Parents out there.

My EX has not seen her kids in almost 4 yrs. Not kidding - it is their mother. She left when they were 2 and 5 yrs old. She sends no cards or gifts for either and pays no CS. Basically there has been no contact.

I tried to get her to pay CS thru the court but after a 1yr of running after her I've decided to quit. I do have a final Divorce Order. She has gone into hiding again so it would be very hard to serve her again.

I feel for my kids that they will not grow up knowing their mother. I've been told by many that I should be glad that I have full custody and she is not around. But occassionally the kids ask about her and sometimes I don't know what to say.

Trust me - there is no understanding of Deatbeat Parents who do not want to see their children or try to support them.
  #22 (permalink)  
Old 07-12-2012, 08:39 PM
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Thing I can't figure out is when someone is a deadbeat parent why do they just keep on reproducing? Why do people have children with people who do not support the ones that they already have? Makes no sense whatsoever.
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Old 07-12-2012, 11:02 PM
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Hi Frustrated Dad,

Thanks for your personal input on this and for sharing so honestly.

I don't look forward to the conversation with my guy when he's older.


Arabian, no idea either.


Thank you.
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Old 07-13-2012, 12:26 AM
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I keep thinking about your post when you say he just goes to a bank and cashes a cheque which is payable to his kinda-company name. Doesn't wash with me. In Canada we don't really have that many banks - just the majors and some credit unions. As far as I know all of these banks are online and well connected to their respective head offices. If a bulletin went out, with a photograph, not to cash cheques for this person I don't think he'd be having any luck getting paid the way you describe. I do realize that Money Mart and the likes do payday loans but I recall those companys calling me before they would cash an employee's paycheque. What sort of work does your ex do? What is his name? I would be putting his name out everywhere.

Be persistent with your local maintenance enforcement. Call them every other day and demand to know what collection actions are being taken. Record names of people you speak to and if possible follow up with emails to them and others. Government employees are ultimately accountable to someone. If someone is rude big deal. Be aggressive. Be persistent. You owe it to your child. Make everyone who is supposed to collect for you personally accountable to you. You have email and you can send a polite but direct email every week to FRO. Don't waste your time on CRA. Do focus on places he frequents. Document everything and send it to FRO and then hold them accountable. Depending upon the trade he works in he needs supplies doesn't he?
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Old 07-13-2012, 01:01 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by arabian View Post
I keep thinking about your post when you say he just goes to a bank and cashes a cheque which is payable to his kinda-company name. Doesn't wash with me. In Canada we don't really have that many banks - just the majors and some credit unions. As far as I know all of these banks are online and well connected to their respective head offices. If a bulletin went out, with a photograph, not to cash cheques for this person I don't think he'd be having any luck getting paid the way you describe. I do realize that Money Mart and the likes do payday loans but I recall those companys calling me before they would cash an employee's paycheque. What sort of work does your ex do? What is his name? I would be putting his name out everywhere.

Be persistent with your local maintenance enforcement. Call them every other day and demand to know what collection actions are being taken. Record names of people you speak to and if possible follow up with emails to them and others. Government employees are ultimately accountable to someone. If someone is rude big deal. Be aggressive. Be persistent. You owe it to your child. Make everyone who is supposed to collect for you personally accountable to you. You have email and you can send a polite but direct email every week to FRO. Don't waste your time on CRA. Do focus on places he frequents. Document everything and send it to FRO and then hold them accountable. Depending upon the trade he works in he needs supplies doesn't he?


FYI its true because he told me this is the way he gets paid. He told me I will never ever get CS from him. He went searching on the net and found his "peers" where he learned how to do this.

We live in two different provinces far from each other. I have not been there in years. No desire no reason no $ to return.

He does need supplies for work. I would have to think or search some old bills to see if I still had a store bill. However I have no idea if he currently uses them for his tools and supplies.

What is the significance of that tho?

I'll heed your advice and call the enforcement agency more often. Hopefully one day something will happen and we will see some $ for my boy!
  #26 (permalink)  
Old 07-13-2012, 01:07 AM
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I lived in Alberta and own a company. Trade accounts are a sure-fire way to track the ahole, particularly here in this province. Everyone likes to come "out west" and make money on the oilfield. One thing they aren't prepared for is how well-connected companies are. Very few companies/contractors/subcontractors operate without scrupulous checking of employees. Maintenance Enforcement works closely with Workers Compensation Board etc. Oilfield/transportation/construction companies have union as well as non-unionized employees but no one really wants to risk their livelihood to hide deadbeats. Don't give up. Get educated. There are many people out there who will help you.
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Old 07-13-2012, 01:09 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by arabian View Post
I keep thinking about your post when you say he just goes to a bank and cashes a cheque which is payable to his kinda-company name. Doesn't wash with me. In Canada we don't really have that many banks - just the majors and some credit unions. As far as I know all of these banks are online and well connected to their respective head offices. If a bulletin went out, with a photograph, not to cash cheques for this person I don't think he'd be having any luck getting paid the way you describe. I do realize that Money Mart and the likes do payday loans but I recall those companys calling me before they would cash an employee's paycheque. What sort of work does your ex do? What is his name? I would be putting his name out everywhere.
Lol. That sounds tempting but I don't think I could do that legally.

But it would be great for me and Frustrated Dad and the others like us if we could let banks know!

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Old 07-13-2012, 10:40 AM
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*YOU* wouldn't do it, maintenance enforcement would and yes, it's totally legal.
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Old 07-13-2012, 11:54 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gladtobesingleagain View Post
FYI its true because he told me...
Here's your first problem, stop believing everything he says.
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