new 2 separation

[Rebeka]

This is all new to me. I am newly separated (not by my choice) from my husband. About 2 months ago, I came home from work and my husband said he wanted a separation. This was not the first time he had said this and so I packed some clothes and left the house. For the past 2 months, we have been going back & forth. First we were fighting, then we made up and now he has chosen to ignore my calls, emails and every form of communication I try to send. I have come to the point where I know our marriage cannot work. I have been on such an emotional roller coaster every day for the last 2 months that I don't know if I'm coming or going half the time. I want so much for our marriage to work but my husband does not want to change. The last time he told me we would work things out was last week. That lasted about 3 days. Our marriage has been on the rocks for the past 2 years and I have tried everything to make it work. I know I can't make him want to change and I also know that I can't live day to day the way I am.
I did go to a divorce support group last night and I felt alot better after I left then when I first got there. My family & friends support my decision to move on with my life without my husband, but I still love him and miss him so much. For years, my husband did not work & I supported the family (myself, my husband, 2 daughters & 2 dogs). He did not support me emotionally either. As a matter of fact, he dominated my whole being. I had no friends because he didn't like them. I had no hobbies because it took my time away from him. He has "beat me down" in the past 2 years that my sister has told me I have become his doormat. Why I still love him, I'm not sure. If he wanted to work things out tomorrow, I don't know if I would say no. I'm not strong enough yet. I'm taking small steps to have a new life for myself & my children but I feel like I'm climbing up a mountain & can't see the top yet.

Any advice??

[Springheeled Jack]

Ive been separated from my wife since April and at first it was hard for me. Ive not seen hide nor hair of her in all that time.
Dont give up hope Rebeka, look after yourself and your children. Your husband made his bed so let him lie in it.

[Rebeka]

Today, I feel much better!! I'm looking forward to the bright new future for myself and my girls. Your right, he is on his own now and I won't worry about him any longer.

I'm glad to know there are others experiencing the same feeling and confusion that I am.

All your responses are keeping me going.
Thanks!!

[my2suns]

I certainly wouldn't worry about HIM. Doesn't sound like he's all that worried about YOU. I'd pick myself up, brush him off me, and rise from the ashes of his burn. YOU deserve better, and so do those girls. Don't let him have the "power over you", take charge, stand up for yourself, and keep moving forward, tear off the rear view mirror.... never look back. Chin up, and keep thinking to yourself "I'm better, and I deserve better" And soon you will have a hard time remembering who you're trying so hard to forget. (((((((hugs)))))