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Divorce Support This forum is for discussing the emotional aspects of divorce: stress, anger, betrayal of trust and more.

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  #51 (permalink)  
Old 06-21-2016, 10:53 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rockscan View Post
I believe what LF32 has clearly discussed is that he wants to go to 50/50 offset support rather than full table with s7..
For me, I was simply asking, because I can't remember all the numerous, prior, long threads about this. I think I remember, that the intent was not only LF32's, but also from the judge and last order, that they should be using offset (or that is the aim), given what the judge directed, and that is why it was stated she should find work?

Seems a reasonable thing to re-visit on LF32's part, if there is no progress being made there, by his ex.
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  #52 (permalink)  
Old 06-21-2016, 10:55 AM
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His order said his ex would find employment and then they would move to offset calculations. Its been almost six months (maybe more) and she still hasnt progressed. She has options in two large centers in that area and she has failed to accomplish anything. The order should have gone farther to say income would be imputed to xx dollars in six months should she fail to find employment.
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  #53 (permalink)  
Old 06-21-2016, 11:44 AM
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Quote:
Is the reason you're paying "full-support" now, because you technically pay offset support, but there's nothing to "offset" against? I thought that was the case, but I can't remember.
Yea the order states that she's to find employment right away .. and it stipulates that it must be full time...then we move to offset.

Running an illegal daycare, having my full CS and accessing all the benefits that Welfare provides seems more attractive to her than working a job.

i.e - I have benefits with my job for D5, but ex says its fine because Welfare covers everything. Why are taxpayer's money being used when it doesnt need to be?

In the end this is not difficult. She is not following an order from Ontario Superior Court and I would like to address that soon.
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  #54 (permalink)  
Old 06-21-2016, 01:40 PM
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Can you quote the order exactly LF?

To me it sounds like if/when ex gets a full time job then child support will go to offset, not an actual order to insist she get a job.

Write it out for us.
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  #55 (permalink)  
Old 06-21-2016, 02:36 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by OntarioDaddy View Post
Perhaps you should discuss the risks to you in bringing a new case now to reopen your final agreement vs waiting more than 6 months.

Based on what you've said, I also agree that financial counselling would do you better than imputing income.
Trust me .. court's the last thing I want.

Financial counselling isn't something I need. I need the other party to understand that court orders are to be followed .. also perhaps that Welfare fraud is against the law.

Its not how Im spending my money my friend. It's how ex will not follow a court order. Going to court is the only action that can rectify that .. not financial counseling.
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Old 06-21-2016, 04:52 PM
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I am curious. Since you think your ex is not clever and is fraudulent, lazy and a scam artist, why would you bank your financial future and success on her? On the slim chance of her paying you child support?

You claim your situation is bad.

Quote:
Originally Posted by LovingFather32 View Post
.. but when the bank account is hurting and the collector's are starting to call, the activities are limited and the headaches increase in the summer unfortunately. I'll figure it out.
Do something about it now (instead of just trying to figure out how to get your ex.)

I really don't get it. It just isn't logical. Absolutely go after your ex later if she is scamming the government/you/whomever but get your own financial stuff in order and under control FIRST. Then go after the ex.

And please post the part of your order that says ex must find employment. I am sure most of us would be interested to see how the legally knowledgeable members of this forum would interpret it for you. It might also be good information for others.

Last edited by SadAndTired; 06-21-2016 at 04:55 PM.
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Old 06-21-2016, 05:21 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LovingFather32 View Post
Trust me .. court's the last thing I want.

Financial counselling isn't something I need. I need the other party to understand that court orders are to be followed .. also perhaps that Welfare fraud is against the law.

Its not how Im spending my money my friend. It's how ex will not follow a court order. Going to court is the only action that can rectify that .. not financial counseling.
if you have bill collectors calling then it is how you are spending your money. Financial counselling would probably help you. You cannot blame the ex for that that. If you cannot afford something, then don't buy it or sign your child up for it. Yes it would be nice if the ex did her part, but she isn't right now so you need to plan your expenses accordingly.

The main thing is to get what is going out to be less then what is coming in. People are told to cut back on luxuries. Go with public transportation, if not possible then get a cheaper vehicle or have only one vehicle for the family. Cut back on the pizza days, extra curricular activities just to name two things. I am sure that there is plenty more that you can cut.

did the order specify a time frame for when she was suppose to find work?
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  #58 (permalink)  
Old 06-21-2016, 05:48 PM
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We don't eat out. We don't have cable ... we budget very smart. Collector situation is rectified ...I'm now doing overnight shifts at a group home. I have to work many jobs to cover my ex's need to stay on welfare....a financial counselor would be impressed ...trust me


Perhaps I sounded like we were irresponsible spenders. My bad.
I'll continue to find ways to cut back ... but...

I still think that ex has certain responsibilities financially also..plus a court order. So I hope we can soon get back to brainstorming ways to either get her to follow an order ..and the steps I should take if she does not.rather than discuss counselling for me. :-)

Last edited by LovingFather32; 06-21-2016 at 05:52 PM.
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  #59 (permalink)  
Old 06-21-2016, 07:38 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LovingFather32 View Post
I still think that ex has certain responsibilities financially also..plus a court order. So I hope we can soon get back to brainstorming ways to either get her to follow an order ..and the steps I should take if she does not.rather than discuss counselling for me. :-)
Sure. Brainstorming. How about you write out the part of the order that says she has to find employment so everyone can provide relevant advice?
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  #60 (permalink)  
Old 06-21-2016, 08:04 PM
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Lf... How much are you paying is CS a month?

Day care costs should be slim to none, extracurricular activities should be slim to none of you can't afford it on your own. Pizza lunches are optional and really are not expensive at all. But the big question is... How much are you paying in CS a month?


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