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Divorce Support This forum is for discussing the emotional aspects of divorce: stress, anger, betrayal of trust and more.

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  #11 (permalink)  
Old 06-03-2016, 12:40 AM
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I know it is said by some that a child of divorced parents get the "poor end of the stick" with dealing with 2 lives anod 2 parents who for the most part hate each other or are they actually better off than kids with intact parents who have not had to connive, lie or fight to get parental rights.

S &T is correct many parents do not get to go to school concerts held during school time. In fact schools should not hold concerts during the day. It's discriminating against people who actually have to work.

Links - right again. Most kids under six have a hard time figuring out reality, so certainly most kids do not remember much of what happens.

However, when kids get to be a teenager they know how to work the system. Be careful,what you encourage.

Hope you have a good weekend.
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  #12 (permalink)  
Old 06-03-2016, 07:30 AM
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Yes it's very odd that schools hold important concerts during the day, disallowing children the pleasure of having parents watch, unless they are doing some kind of shift work (in which case they may be sleeping during this time) or are on Welfare.
Not sure if D5 is different, but she recalls the events I miss due to work.
Quote:
"Daddy, you missed my field trip last week and you're going to miss my singing tomorrow. Why can mommy come and not you?"
The above quote is precisely why I came to the support forum for a boost. It just plain sucks being the parent who can not attend because I work hard during the day. I'm not blaming ex for going .. it's good for D5. However, she is choosing not to seek FT employment as per the order, which I dont think anybody should condone in any manner.

In any case, the post was due to a certain level of parental guilt for not being able to attend these special little events and finding ways to answer D5's questions "Why does mommy get to go and you dont"? My situation is a bit different, in that my ex didn't want D5 to have these amazing experiences..she fought it tooth and nail. It's just an interesting situation. Now I think she sees I was right .. D5 is happier than ever. When I drop her off all her friends come yelling her name, she knows all the months of the year, can count to 50 her fine/gross motor skills are improving like crazy .... and she's not hanging around babies at playgroups anymore so the baby talk has vanished.

Ex and I are super pleased about her progress, development and pure joy she's experiencing in j/k.

Last edited by LovingFather32; 06-03-2016 at 07:34 AM.
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  #13 (permalink)  
Old 06-03-2016, 08:25 AM
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Originally Posted by LovingFather32 View Post
I agree. The good news is that D5's big ballet recital is this weekend (Saturday). She's practiced for many weeks and will be performing for literally hundreds of people on stage with her class. Her Step sister and bestie (D9) is in the same show. All of our relatives are coming down for this special event.
On Sunday all of her friends from J/K are coming over for a b-day bash for her as well with pinata's, sac races, baking, swimming, etc.

So this weekend's going to kick serious butt. I can't wait. Loving my family and my life right now.

LF32
focus on the good stuff like this. There will be times you will miss stuff but I think every parent does. Its important to know that for every missed time there will probably be more things that you don't miss.
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  #14 (permalink)  
Old 06-03-2016, 08:33 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by standing on the sidelines View Post
focus on the good stuff like this. There will be times you will miss stuff but I think every parent does. Its important to know that for every missed time there will probably be more things that you don't miss.
Thanks SOTS. So true.

After further thought, I'm actually glad D5 has ex to attend instead of no parent. Just that stupid sour taste in my mouth about ex's time being freed up all day every day and getting to do it despite a court order telling her to do otherwise.

But someone said "look where I was a year ago", and they're right.

On a positive note, I just cant believe how great ex and I are getting along. There hasn't been one negative thing said yet. It's crazy.

LF32
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  #15 (permalink)  
Old 06-03-2016, 07:16 PM
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Well .. D5 just finished her big performance for night 1. So damn proud.
I'm so lucky her step mom is so amazing. We got there and big sign on door saying NO BOYS. I've perfected hair now. French braids and buns are second nature. Lol

Must be tough for single father's to do ballet. :-)
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  #16 (permalink)  
Old 06-03-2016, 10:29 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LovingFather32 View Post
Yes it's very odd that schools hold important concerts during the day, disallowing children the pleasure of having parents watch, unless they are doing some kind of shift work (in which case they may be sleeping during this time) or are on Welfare.
Not sure if D5 is different, but she recalls the events I miss due to work.
The above quote is precisely why I came to the support forum for a boost. It just plain sucks being the parent who can not attend because I work hard during the day. I'm not blaming ex for going .. it's good for D5. However, she is choosing not to seek FT employment as per the order, which I dont think anybody should condone in any manner.

In any case, the post was due to a certain level of parental guilt for not being able to attend these special little events and finding ways to answer D5's questions "Why does mommy get to go and you dont"? My situation is a bit different, in that my ex didn't want D5 to have these amazing experiences..she fought it tooth and nail. It's just an interesting situation. Now I think she sees I was right .. D5 is happier than ever. When I drop her off all her friends come yelling her name, she knows all the months of the year, can count to 50 her fine/gross motor skills are improving like crazy .... and she's not hanging around babies at playgroups anymore so the baby talk has vanished.

Ex and I are super pleased about her progress, development and pure joy she's experiencing in j/k.
Yeah, she gushes about how awesome it is because she thinks you'll forget about her utter resistance to it only months ago.

As for what to tell your daughter when she asks why her mum can come but you can't, it's all part of the same question about why her mother doesn't work. You tell her that most grownups work to support themselves and their families, which means they have to sometimes miss things they want to be at. Her mother has chosen not to work, so her house may not be as nice, etc, but she is able to attend the concerts you have to miss.

The unfairness sucks, yes. You work hard, missing events with your daughter, all to enable your ex to not work and attend those events, the very same ones she fought hard to prevent.

I hope that this EQOA week aside, you are able to take time off now and then to do things with your daughter?
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  #17 (permalink)  
Old 06-04-2016, 09:22 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rioe View Post
Yeah, she gushes about how awesome it is because she thinks you'll forget about her utter resistance to it only months ago.
It really amazes me how one can go from allegation to allegation, denials of parenting time, etc .. to this. I will truly never forget her apologizing for the false allegations in the LAO SC. Not sure my family will ever entirely recuperate. That's the problem with allegations .. people just never know what to think (i.e - Johnny Depp). But it damn near ruined my life.

She fought so hard to keep her out of school .. now its the best thing since sliced cheese. Funny how all that works.
Quote:
I hope that this EQOA week aside, you are able to take time off now and then to do things with your daughter?
lol .. no I can't. School officially ends June 30th. We have a ton of needs in the school and 6-7 autistic j/k's joining us in the new year. So I'm swamped making social stories, transitions, visual schedules, token boards/choice boards .. you name it.

But luckily I get every other week in the summer. So cant wait for that.

Enjoy this incredibly gorgeous weekend everybody!!

LF32
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  #18 (permalink)  
Old 06-04-2016, 02:50 PM
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The key thing is that she is the same person who was alienating you 3 months ago.... There is just no more opportunity. Some people are trash, your ex is one of them and she will always be trash.....
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  #19 (permalink)  
Old 06-14-2016, 03:16 PM
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Quick question.
Nearly every weekend ex has D5 she misses school on either the Monday or the Friday to create a long weekend in QC.

Should this be something to be concerned about? It's only j/k right? But that's quite a bit of school missed to be in QC. Ahhhhhh. ..the joys of refusing to work ...life is a vacation.

Thoughts?

Last edited by LovingFather32; 06-14-2016 at 03:25 PM. Reason: another addition
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  #20 (permalink)  
Old 06-14-2016, 03:28 PM
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I should also add that she missed a class trip to the splash park with all of her JK buddies
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