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Divorce Support This forum is for discussing the emotional aspects of divorce: stress, anger, betrayal of trust and more.

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Old 08-26-2012, 03:46 PM
HBW HBW is offline
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Dear Lost and Alone: You are a beautiful, strong woman who only deserves the best in life! Your so-called husband doesn't deserve you! In time, you will recognize that he was not the person you thought he was... and probably never will be.

Yes, the pain will end! Facing this pain and overcoming it will actually make you stronger and smarter!

Do whatever you need to do to deal with the pain (in a healthy way of course). Cry as much as you need to. Your friends and family will find it difficult to relate to you right now; it's difficult not to take it personally, but try not to. Instead, reach out to people who have gone through similar situations like a support network as this and you will find comfort. (What helped me the most was religion.)

Though the pain cuts deep and feels like it will never end, it will... IT TRULY, TRULY WILL!!!!
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Old 08-26-2012, 08:03 PM
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Thanks everyone I'm learning a lot from all of you.
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Old 08-26-2012, 08:24 PM
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I discovered that many happy married did not really want to know me ,but all the "recovering" divorces and separated sure did lol!Its funny how tales of the bizarre and strange in family law can have such a bonding effect but sometimes it sure does.
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Old 08-27-2012, 10:16 AM
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Hi lost and alone, welcome to the forum. You will find a terrific group of people here that will give you advice, some you will like, some you won't, but it's valuable. We have all been through it or are going through divorces and YOU will survive.

I 100% with HBW - You are a strong, beautiful woman. A friend of mine once told me, EVERY morning, look in the mirror and tell yourself this. At first it will seem silly and you will think you are crazy. The more often you look at yourself you will get stronger and your words will become louder "I am a strong and beautiful woman"!

As for the friends who no longer have time for you, don't worry about them, they have issues of their own!

Try the support groups recommended to you, you will find there is a whole new life out there just waiting for you
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Old 08-27-2012, 01:06 PM
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Originally Posted by lost and alone View Post
So my husband of 8 years walked out last sunday. I honestly had no warning. I don't even know what to do. For the first 3 days I was sick everytime I tried to eat or drink. Now I can eat very small amounts. I can sleep a bit but I keep waking up all night. I have come to realize that any friends I thought I had I don't. I live in a very small town and my situation is the #1 topic for discussion. I just want to know if it gets easier. Luckily we do not have kids however this also means I am completely alone.

Any ideas on how to get through this.
Lost and Alone,

Please re-read the above quoted message. I highly recommend that you speak with a proper certified and registered clinician qualified to help you with:

1. Your sleep issues/disrupted sleeping patterns. Sleep is a fundamental element to good health and a clinician is the best person to turn to help you get the sleep you need to be healthy.

2. Eating issues. Again, insuring you are eating properly is another fundamental of good health and a clinician can help you resolve this issue and insure you are healthy.

I encourage you to talk to your family doctor about what you have expressed here and seek out the proper solutions from registered and certified health care professionals to assist you. Depression is something that can be managed and there is no shame in going to a clinician (doctor/social worker/etc...) to get the help with the above mentioned issues.

Your personal health is very important and please put your health and well being ahead of any other matter at this time. You can resolve the issues and get through all of this but, not when you had disrupted sleep patterns and eating patterns.

It does get better but, please insure you take all the steps in your personal health and well being to make things better.

Good Luck!
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Old 08-27-2012, 03:00 PM
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It takes time but there will be different "turning points" along the way that get you through this. If you work out---a gym---you meet new friends--and many are or have been through divorce and are a good support. Having a professional to talk to--so you don't feel like it is your fault--especially since there was no warning---is key. You have to decide if you want group or individual counselling--but in a small town---individual might be the way to go. Set a personal challenge---and then go for it. Do a 5km or whatever run----the gym was my salvation. Yoga was amazing---my thoughts could go everywhere there---I sorted out a lot in yoga class---just don't get frustrated at first if you have never done it. Having a forum like this is amazing.
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Old 08-27-2012, 03:45 PM
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Still going through the whole separation process with a lot of stress. The gym was the best thing I did.

I've lost 40 lbs (I was obese, still sorta am) and my doctor was very impressed. it helps immensely with the stress. Exercise releases endorphin's which can really help with depression. My blood pressure also dropped about 10 - 15 points. Never felt better health wise. Time for some you time.
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