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Divorce Support This forum is for discussing the emotional aspects of divorce: stress, anger, betrayal of trust and more.

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  #11 (permalink)  
Old 07-25-2011, 10:43 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MommaBear73 View Post
There are 2 sides to every story. Try to remember that before you press 'Submit Reply'
I would say there is three sides - his, hers and truth...
  #12 (permalink)  
Old 07-25-2011, 11:56 AM
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Gee, I think you're taking this comment way too personally. Yes, a woman is more likely to say this, not a man. Rioe did realize she's generalizing and I accept her explanation. I on the other hand make no apologies for saying that as I don't think it was rude.

Yes, I was bitter at what happened to me. But I'm not taking it out on anyone. I am not lashing my anger to anyone. My comment of "get over it" is so BCMama doesn't dwell on it too long. Life is short, best to try and forget it. Get on with life. She says she's numb. The feeling will pass eventually. We have difference in how we think she should handle things. Disagree if you will.

> This is supposed to be a place to ask for advice
I did give my advice.

> Just because I have a vagina... to label all women as such.
Well, I'm not one to label women and people in such ways. I don't wish to start acrimony on a public forum but if you disagree with any of my future posts, you're free to comment. If I think you're right and changed my mind and attitudes, I'll let you know and so much the better for me.
  #13 (permalink)  
Old 07-25-2011, 04:42 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BCMama View Post
My recent ex just told me he slept with a coworker 2 weeks ago. Nice. I don't even know how to feel about it. I think I'm numb. It confirms that we are over and that he doesn't think about me at all. Sigh.
Actually - what it confirms (in my mind at least) is that he is still thinking of you as he purposefully informed you. Why? To get a reaction. Why does he want a reaction? Because he still has feelings about you. And no - I don't mean he wants you back. I mean you are on his mind. Be that good, bad, or whatever.
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Old 07-25-2011, 05:51 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MommaBear73 View Post
"Spoken like a woman"
Really??
I thought he was being ironic.
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Old 07-25-2011, 08:47 PM
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Default Sex is Sex

Let's face it. Sex is sex. There is a difference between a relationship, and sex. There is a place for 'one-of's...' and a need for them...they have been around forever and it's a great way to burn off energy/stress for both men and women (however both should only be doing it when not in a relationship). Both sexes occassionally think with their 'man-picker' or 'woman-picker/pecker' only...and this probably won't lead to a positive/healthy relationship.

Is it OK for your partner to make a f'd up mistake and have a one-of after an evening of drinking...or is it better for them to have had a relationship with someone else for many years ? Is either something we can get over ?

I say we have to wait for the hurt to heal and at some point all of us will be over betrayal and look back it and laugh about what a silly mistake we did in selecting that partner...
  #16 (permalink)  
Old 07-25-2011, 08:49 PM
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Originally Posted by May_May View Post
'woman-picker/pecker'
Bwa haha! Thanks for the good laugh!
  #17 (permalink)  
Old 07-25-2011, 09:07 PM
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Peter Piper pulled his pretty picker-pecker,
and proceeded to pick a pretty pecker picker.
When Peter pulled his pretty picker-pecker,
how many pretty pecker pickers did Peter Piper pick?
  #18 (permalink)  
Old 07-25-2011, 09:14 PM
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BWAHAhahahhahahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa ..........



Gary
  #19 (permalink)  
Old 07-25-2011, 10:01 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wretchedotis View Post
Actually - what it confirms (in my mind at least) is that he is still thinking of you as he purposefully informed you.
I guess it depends on how the conversation went. "I sleep with your best friend and I'm in love with her" is different then "I don't love you. BTW I sleep with your best friend".

In my mind, that's a hell of a way to show you are thinking about someone and/or getting a reaction. Not saying you're wrong but surely there's better, smarter ways to do that.

Sex is sex and there is a difference between a relationship and sex. But sex is expected to remain between the two in the relationship, not third parties. Doesn't matter if it's one-of, the other in the relationship is bound to get emotionally hurt when it gets found out.
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Old 07-26-2011, 12:12 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BCMama View Post
My recent ex just told me he slept with a coworker 2 weeks ago. Nice. I don't even know how to feel about it. I think I'm numb. It confirms that we are over and that he doesn't think about me at all. Sigh.
I am wondering about the part "It confirms we are over". Does this mean that you thought you were over before he did this?
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