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Divorce Support This forum is for discussing the emotional aspects of divorce: stress, anger, betrayal of trust and more.

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Old 05-03-2011, 02:35 AM
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Default My worst fears have come true

My recent ex just told me he slept with a coworker 2 weeks ago. Nice. I don't even know how to feel about it. I think I'm numb. It confirms that we are over and that he doesn't think about me at all. Sigh.
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Old 05-03-2011, 12:17 PM
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Well, it also confirms that men often think with the wrong part of their anatomy, that he is an idiot and completely insensitive to your feelings for even telling you that, and that you are far far better off without him.

It's so hard to accept sometimes, but just keep repeating to yourself that hard as it is, as lonely and abandoned as you feel, this is still better than being lied to and used by someone who doesn't care about your feelings.
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Old 05-03-2011, 12:26 PM
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Mess is a jewel in the roughMess is a jewel in the roughMess is a jewel in the roughMess is a jewel in the rough
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rioe View Post
Well, it also confirms that men often think with the wrong part of their anatomy, ..
My ex-wife began a lesbian affair with a co-worker immediately upon our marriage ending.

The co-worker was already in a relationship and had been living with her lover for over ten years. The lover found out and kicked her out. So she immediately moved in with my ex-wife, sharing a 1 bedroom apartment with her and our 2 kids (we have 50/50).

I expressed concern that she had a new lover moving in instantly with her and the kids in such a small apartment and I was accused of being homophobic.

This confirms that women are thoughtless jackasses who think with their vaginas, have no rational logic and don't care how their sex lives affect their children.

Or maybe it just confirms that about my ex. Pick one, and then maybe you can revise your quote above that you made about men.
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Old 05-03-2011, 01:14 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rioe View Post
Well, it also confirms that men often think with the wrong part of their anatomy, that he is an idiot and completely insensitive to your feelings for even telling you that, and that you are far far better off without him.
Hey! You better think before you write... I am so tired about that bullshit about "wrong part of their anatomy"... I mean COMMON! May be you will go further and say "that man only the one who need sex" ? why not... Before you decide to add that all means cheaters you should ask yourself one simple question - with how they cheat?

Quote:
It's so hard to accept sometimes, but just keep repeating to yourself that hard as it is, as lonely and abandoned as you feel, this is still better than being lied to and used by someone who doesn't care about your feelings.
Of course it hard to accept that probably it's 50% of this is your fault. Much easier to blame other person and keep saying to yourself that I was the perfect one and he just animal with basic instinct....
...
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Old 05-03-2011, 01:31 PM
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Selfish jerks are not gender specific. They please #1 (themself) first and everybody else is less important. Selfish jerks might never get divorced and think of themself as a model of good behaviour and are blind to the hurt they cause others. Looking out for #1 and being inconsiderate isn't the domain of either gender.
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Old 05-03-2011, 05:24 PM
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Think of it this way... at least you know, and can move on. And maybe his preoccupation with the coworker will mean he makes things easy and doesn't fight so you can both be free.


and Mess...sorry to hear dude...but AWESOME post. Did you ask if you could at least watch?
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Old 05-03-2011, 05:57 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mess View Post
My ex-wife began a lesbian affair with a co-worker immediately upon our marriage ending.

The co-worker was already in a relationship and had been living with her lover for over ten years. The lover found out and kicked her out. So she immediately moved in with my ex-wife, sharing a 1 bedroom apartment with her and our 2 kids (we have 50/50).

I expressed concern that she had a new lover moving in instantly with her and the kids in such a small apartment and I was accused of being homophobic.

This confirms that women are thoughtless jackasses who think with their vaginas, have no rational logic and don't care how their sex lives affect their children.

Or maybe it just confirms that about my ex. Pick one, and then maybe you can revise your quote above that you made about men.
I gave you medal for that Mess... Did you read about the Case when judge ordered that kid can have legally TWO MOTHERS ? Can you imagine custody dispute 2 mothers v Mess ? ))

just black humor... to survive this you should have sense of humor ...
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Old 05-03-2011, 09:37 PM
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Well, I deserved that for generalizing, but I was really just trying to commiserate with BCMama as that seemed like what she was after. Sometimes being sympathetic means not being realistic.

Although, I do believe, based on sound research, that men, on average, have a higher sex drive than women, and it can influence their decision-making. Perhaps my supporting anecdotal evidence blinds me to truth, I dunno. All I know is that my ex always assured me "men are pigs" and I foolishly assumed it was a running joke instead of referring to himself.
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Old 07-24-2011, 11:58 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rioe View Post
Well, it also confirms that men often think with the wrong part of their anatomy, that he is an idiot and completely insensitive
Spoken like a woman.

You know, it's not just men. My ex-wife was sleeping around with other men while we were married. The strange thing is, she said when we got engaged that I better not be looking at other women. I'm not a womanizer and she knew that. Yet, by her own admission and count, in the few years we were married, she slept with a dozen guys.

As for BCMama, you guys are over so get over it. It took me a while myself even though I was betrayed. Move along as quickly as possible, it's for the best for you. You think he (in my case, she) cares now? No. So I don't either. She likely had a few other guys after we split but I know she doesn't anymore as she's very sick, been so for a few years. Call me cruel or whatever, but I don't care.
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Old 07-25-2011, 10:19 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pierre View Post
Spoken like a woman.

You know, it's not just men. My ex-wife was sleeping around with other men while we were married. The strange thing is, she said when we got engaged that I better not be looking at other women. I'm not a womanizer and she knew that. Yet, by her own admission and count, in the few years we were married, she slept with a dozen guys.

As for BCMama, you guys are over so get over it. It took me a while myself even though I was betrayed. Move along as quickly as possible, it's for the best for you. You think he (in my case, she) cares now? No. So I don't either. She likely had a few other guys after we split but I know she doesn't anymore as she's very sick, been so for a few years. Call me cruel or whatever, but I don't care.
"Spoken like a woman"
Really?? You give Rioe trouble for generalizing, by generalizing. See the conflict there? We're not all like that so I would appreciate it if you would not take your issues with your ex out on the rest of us. My ex cheated on me. HE did. I do not blame everyone with a penis for it, so that comment was rude and unwarranted.

"Get over it"
Clearly you are still very bitter about what you and your ex went through, and by answering so heartlessly to someone who is hurting you show that you do still care about what's going on with your ex and perhaps you are the one that needs to "Get over it' and stop lashing out at those who do not deserve your anger.

We all went through a tough time, some of us worse then others. This is supposed to be a place to ask for advice and see that we are not alone in these crazy situations we find ourselves in. Gender bashing and generalizing have no place here and it breaks my heart to see it. Just because I have a vagina does not make me a money hungry, cheating, court abusive psycho-harpy but there seems to be some sort of movement on here to label all women as such. Does that mean every man on here are lying, cheating, abusive jerks who skip out on child support? Of course not.

There are 2 sides to every story. Try to remember that before you press 'Submit Reply'

Last edited by MommaBear73; 07-25-2011 at 10:21 AM.
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