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Divorce Support This forum is for discussing the emotional aspects of divorce: stress, anger, betrayal of trust and more.

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  #21 (permalink)  
Old 06-20-2014, 03:46 PM
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Originally Posted by FightingForFamily View Post
Actually Link17 is mostly correct. I applied for subsidized housing because after paying 74% of my salary in income tax, spousal support and child support I was left with $-400 per month (negative $400) to cover rent. However, I was told I don't qualify, because they base it on my gross salary before all of the support is paid. So yes, it's no-daddy row housing as far as I can tell, since 87% of support payors are Dads.
87% of people supposed to pay support are dads, that doesn't mean they do. Since you're all about the numbers defining the "no daddy row house" image, I assume you also took into consideration what percentage of the 87% ordered to pay support don't pay it?
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Old 06-20-2014, 03:55 PM
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Originally Posted by Berner_Faith View Post
I think it is a tough subject. This young Mother had CAS called on her from a neighbour that said the kids were never clothed... well her youngest enjoys running around in just his boxers, but whatever. The only issue to be found was that they were sharing a bedroom. She happened to be on welfare as well, as Dad took off and is hiding and has not supported the children in over 3 years. She had 2 follow up visits to make sure the kids had their own rooms. Not sure who she can actually contact regarding this, but this is what she was forced to do and there are not affordable houses available at this time that offer 3 bedrooms.
She should have done this herself, I'd rather sleep on the couch than make my kids share a room.

She isn't on welfare because dad took off - she is on welfare because she is poor. Being a single mother =/= being poor. We've already made it clear than single mothers earn the equivalent of 50k gross.
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Old 06-20-2014, 04:09 PM
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Originally Posted by Links17 View Post

I underlined the points where it straight up said you should...
I've bolded the words of importance in this clause:

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At what age is it appropriate for children of the same or opposite sex to share bedrooms?
As children of the opposite sex age, their privacy becomes important. Young children sharing the same rooms is often a necessity for many families, but as children mature and begin to reach puberty there is a need for privacy. However, once a child reaches the age of six or seven, they naturally become conscious about their bodies and differences between the sexes. Sharing a room with a sibling of the opposite sex can make a school ages child embarrassed and uncomfortable. Different sleeping arrangements should be made as the child ages.
It says "should" it does not say shall or must have their own rooms. "Should" is a suggestion, not a requirement.

I do agree that kids should have their own rooms, and if I had to sleep on the couch to facilitate that I would. But I am also a realist and understand that not everyone has the finances to support my personal opinion. Thus I keep my opinion to myself.
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Old 06-20-2014, 04:13 PM
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Originally Posted by Links17 View Post
She should have done this herself, I'd rather sleep on the couch than make my kids share a room.

She isn't on welfare because dad took off - she is on welfare because she is poor. Being a single mother =/= being poor. We've already made it clear than single mothers earn the equivalent of 50k gross.
I know of a few single moms where the dad took off and believe me they are not making that kind of money. One is in subsidized housing (they have all types of families there, intact, mom only daddy only) and the other works fulltime. Neither one is doing fantastic, both are struggling.
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Old 06-20-2014, 04:22 PM
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See this thread for the math. Of course they aren't living large - its still a household of 3 but i am just contextualizing it.

http://www.ottawadivorce.com/forum/f...parents-17730/

A lot of people are poor at budgetting etc... as well besides having no skills of value damning them to search for rich spouses are cashier jobs. Evolution would have eventually wiped them out but welfare/child support saved them and gave them an incentive to procreate - its counter evolutionary

-----

I guess we have a different definition of should:
Should


"Should" is most commonly used to make recommendations or give advice. It can also be used to express obligation as well as expectation.


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Last edited by Links17; 06-20-2014 at 04:25 PM.
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Old 06-20-2014, 04:25 PM
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Originally Posted by Links17 View Post
See this thread for the math. Of course they aren't living large - its still a household of 3 but i am just contextualizing it.

-----

I guess we have a different definition of should:
Should


"Should" is most commonly used to make recommendations or give advice. It can also be used to express obligation as well as expectation.


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No it looks like we have the same definition. A recommendation isn't a requirement. Advice isn't an order.
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Old 06-20-2014, 04:25 PM
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It can also be used to express obligation as well as expectation.
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Old 06-20-2014, 04:29 PM
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Originally Posted by blinkandimgone View Post
87% of people supposed to pay support are dads, that doesn't mean they do. Since you're all about the numbers defining the "no daddy row house" image, I assume you also took into consideration what percentage of the 87% ordered to pay support don't pay it?
Deadbeat Moms who don't pay child support

This article seems to suggest women are much more adept at avoiding their child suport obligations
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Old 06-20-2014, 04:40 PM
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Originally Posted by blinkandimgone View Post
87% of people supposed to pay support are dads, that doesn't mean they do. Since you're all about the numbers defining the "no daddy row house" image, I assume you also took into consideration what percentage of the 87% ordered to pay support don't pay it?
I paid my support and it made me so broke I couldn't afford a decent place to live. There are no programs, subsidies or legal aid available to help payors who actually pay their support but are unable to support themselves as a result.

Are you suggesting that I should have skipped out on my support obligations so I could afford a place to live? Why didn't I think of that!
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Old 06-20-2014, 04:44 PM
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If I were suggesting that, I'd have said that.

I was addressing the disgusting commentary and designation of "no daddy row house", not your specific situation.
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