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Divorce Support This forum is for discussing the emotional aspects of divorce: stress, anger, betrayal of trust and more.

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  #41 (permalink)  
Old 11-26-2012, 09:27 PM
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I found a simple way to deal with this: I just don't believe a word that my ex says. IF you can keep your contact with your ex down to just meeting in the courtroom it is a whole lot easier. Let the lawyers deal with these losers.
  #42 (permalink)  
Old 11-26-2012, 11:38 PM
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Pursuinghappiness will become famous soon enough

My abusive s(?) tbx also has been maliciously lying about me to whoever will listen, and it's a dreadful situation. He's sent letters out to my family and organizations saying I'm not at all well in mind and body. I recently learned he has recruited his brother(s) in his lying slanderous actions, and apparently even after a year is still at it. At times I feel like I'm in a living nightmare. He's lying about the assets and household items he took out of the home, among other matters, and has not provided confirmation of his bank accounts. I haven't lied about him to anyone, have been forthright about everything. I've been a good and faithful wife to him for over 40 years. The separation is 13 months now and I wonder when will this wretched limbo will end.

I'm very sorry for what you're going through. I wish I could give you some sage advice but I don't have any. I just got through it by ignoring it as best as I could and concentrating on my own life...and eventually things got one can listen to someone ranting and raving for long before getting bored with it.

I'm also dealing with non-disclosure now ex is trying to drag this out as long as possible., I'm headed to start another motion this week. I'm almost 3 years in at this point with probably another year to go.

I hate the limbo too...I cannot wait to actually be divorced either. There's no doubt that this process takes too long...probably because so many high conflict litigants clog up the courts.

Best wishes to you...hang in there!
  #43 (permalink)  
Old 11-26-2012, 11:55 PM
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If I had a nickel for every lie told about me (by my ex and his wife) I'd be a wealthy woman! It used to bother me a lot. I do not care anymore. I can't stop the drivel that comes out of his mouth. In due time, most people will catch on that he's completely full of crap. We must (as the targets of bullshit) teach ourselves to filter out the nonsense. There is simply no other option. You were in a very long marriage caranna, and I commend you for getting out of it. Better late than never. It takes a lot of guts to make a stand.

"Lies have speed, but the Truth has endurance." (I don't know who first said that but it wasn't me ) It is one of my personal favourites.
  #44 (permalink)  
Old 11-27-2012, 11:22 AM
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caranna is on a distinguished road

PH and hadenough, thank you for your support. I am really sorry to hear that after such a long time both of you are still in this horrible process of finding legal and emotional closure.

Nadia, I apologize for taking over your thread...

I had to get out of the marriage or else it would get even worse. He abused me severely..physically, emotionally and verbally. He abused me continually. I hid his abuse from everyone, for a very long time.

Ironic isn't it.. I protected him for decades by not mentioning his abuse and lately he is trying to destroy my character by spreading lies.

I don't let him bother me as much any more. It still is a difficult process but I'm happier now and found a larger measure of peace.
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