The long road after...

[Banaschar]

Re integration

It has been 3 years.
I find myself still bitter and unable to re integrate into society.
I know the past is water under the bridge and that I should not dwell on it.
I know that the opposite sex are not all money grabbing beasts.
I know all this and yet still do not care enough to leave my house, make friends, or simply go do something.

I’m not sure what creating this topic will do but I hope it will generate some discussions on the long road back from hell and give me a reason to re integrate.

[About_Time]

Well a good reason to re-integrate is so that you don't spend the rest of your life trapped in your house surrounded by cats.

Divorce sucks. It's hurtful. It takes a toll. I get that - we all get that.

However, if it's been 3 years and you are still feeling this way then you are suffering from depression. If you can't get around all this on your own get counselling. You have your entire life ahead of you and there are lots of people here who are a testament to the notion that things do get better once you put it behind you.

My ex took 10 years from life. I'll be damned if she's going to take one more day. Get back on the horse.

[dadtotheend]

Originally Posted by Banaschar

I find myself still bitter and unable to re integrate into society.

You make it sound like you've been in jail.

If you're still hurting get some counselling. Better still, pick up a hobby, go for a walk, join a club, take a trip, play some softball. Get out there and meet some new friends.

[dinkyface]

Hi,
I could suggest a book that helped me: The Mindful Way Through Depression (Jon Kabat-Zinn et al)

It deals with how to get out of the self-perpetuating downward spiral that black moods (regardless of their cause - internal beliefs or external events) can bring. It might give you some perspective and 'emotional smarts' that will enable you to get out and start doing things you enjoy.

[billiechic]

3 years is a LONG time. Nobody can pull you out of that depression but you. We've all been there, and we've all had to pull ourselves out. There are some great suggestions here (counselling, exercise, social activities). Pick one and try it. You'll be surprised how much better you will feel. Good Luck

[Banaschar]

Thank you for the replies.
I do suffer depression and will seek help, again.

This has been a great forum from day 1 and I have learned much about this process. Time to move on.
Best.

[tugofwar]

You are not the only one going thru this and I am so happy I found this forum too!
Im still having my good and bad days. You need to find out what makes you happy and run with it. I'm learning to find my old happy self again, that I need to work on my self esteem and have things to look forward to helps me.
These last few weeks were the worst for me in a long time. I have been seeing a psychologist to help me thru all this. I asked him for some self help books to read and he recommended a few and this is what he sent in an email to me:
Remember that the reasons you are out of the relationship made sense to you when you were feeling differently - it's easy for those reasons to get clouded by a sense of loss about the past, loneliness in the present, or worry about the future. It's certainly not an easy thing to go through.
This statement made alot of sense and brought me back to reality. So, whenever Im feeling down, I will make reference to this and hope to move on.
I also found reading books on this with people who have also gone down this road we are on now helps.
Good luck!

[billiechic]

Some great advice Tug! I know I fall back into depression every once in a while, and it is still so hard to pull myself out. But it seems to be getting a little easier each time.

[dadtotheend]

18 holes of glorious golf cures a little blues.

[tugofwar]

Originally Posted by dadtotheend

18 holes of glorious golf cures a little blues.

Are you still looking for your foursome? lol