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Divorce Support This forum is for discussing the emotional aspects of divorce: stress, anger, betrayal of trust and more.

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  #21 (permalink)  
Old 10-29-2014, 10:02 PM
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Originally Posted by Beachnana View Post
Wow. Beware of " nice" emails amd," Olive branches". They crack and drop you down. Do not let your guard down. Yes, of course she is all about communication she knows she has lost this battle but the war is not yet lost. She will be cutting her losses and going for EOW and midweek access then once she has that she will be a nightmare of excuses and sick child and oh she does not want to go with you. Oh she has dance classes, so forth! Stay your ground and keep her running. Do not let the judge forget she denied you access and has shown she will do so again. You want and deserve 50/50.
I know what this is..don't worry. Sleight of hand. Illusions. Not just for me but for the judge also. She didn't suddenly have a revelation that she wants 50/50 and to be nice. Right after 50 allegations. She was balling in the courtroom asking her lawyer if they could argue the motion results. She didn't want this. Its a game. A disgusting one

All I know is I see D3 this weekend. Round 1 over. I get to return to the corner and have a rest, grab a gulp of water and re energize for the next round. Seeing D3 will provide this.

Last edited by LovingFather32; 10-29-2014 at 10:04 PM.
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  #22 (permalink)  
Old 10-29-2014, 10:43 PM
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Yeah it's joint with 50/50 access or bust.

There is no reason for you to feel bad if they put out a bunch of offers that don't meet the 50/50 threshold.

The law is black and white. Children's law reform act number 20.
"the father and the mother of a child are equally entitled to custody of the child"
CanLII - Children's Law Reform Act, RSO 1990, c C.12

What complicates this is before getting to the judge it is always a specter that there may be some abuse (drugs, verbal, physical) that might be present and that disqualifies you as a suitable parent. But the judge just threw all of that out. Why he didn't give you exactly 50/50 I don't understand but I see it this way....

Your child has a right to both of you 50/50. If there is a reason that you don't qualify as that parent in the best interest of the child then she has to prove it. She failed at that last week.

Don't feel obligated to settle for less. It will likely be parallel parenting that wins the day here. That's what was recommended for me but we both know our Ex's won't co operate...or will only so long as eyes are watching. What worries me is when everyone goes home and three years down the road...then she goes bonkers again.(talking about my ex here).
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  #23 (permalink)  
Old 10-29-2014, 11:48 PM
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I know what this is..don't worry. Sleight of hand. Illusions. Not just for me but for the judge also. She didn't suddenly have a revelation that she wants 50/50 and to be nice. Right after 50 allegations. She was balling in the courtroom asking her lawyer if they could argue the motion results. She didn't want this. Its a game. A disgusting one
You should definitely stay vigilant and keep operating in the mode you've been in...but these cases do sometimes have a critical mass point. After that you may notice that she starts recognizing that she has to legitimately compromise or risk getting her butt handed to her in court in a way she didn't expect. She's already had a major taste of that.

In my case, a lot of the nonsense my ex did had to do with a shark male right's attorney he had who pumped him up (and his legal bill up) and told him that he had a case for sole custody which couldn't have been further from reality. There are a lot of lawyers like that out there that feed into the delusions of the high-conflict client. Once they throw everything and the kitchen sink at the wall and nothing sticks in court, the strategy starts to change. I would be surprised if you notice a significant shift in how she starts acting. I also wouldn't be surprised if she's having conflict with her attorney. Is she on legal aid or is she paying for all of this?

That doesn't mean you should do anything different. You should still hope for the best and prepare for the worst but eventually things will most likely calm down with spurts of high conflict behavior less and less often.

Its highly likely that the temporary order will end up transferring into a final order. She's almost at the point where the fight is getting knocked out of her. The same thing happened with my ex...it reminded me of all the hot air being let out of a balloon. At the end of each major decision point...custody access, support, then equalization...he ended up just deflating and signing once he got slapped with costs and other potential penalties for not settling. And since then, I have very little conflict with him...he's just given up fighting with me because he's got nothing left...he tried everything and it didn't work.

Personally, I think things are going to get easier for you legally at this point. Again, doesn't mean that you shouldn't stay wary...I just think you're over the hump.
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  #24 (permalink)  
Old 10-30-2014, 12:16 AM
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agreed headwaters ..LF32 only responds from whatever E-mail gummy bear that drops in his lap....he's oblivious to 3 years down the road

agreed Beach....Olive branches soon rot, when there found to be lemon branches.

180 degree turns are what losing parties do for damage control

saying a lot but saying nothing is another CRAFT.

PROOF is the words the LAO scumbag lawyer put in Goldilocks mouth (E-mail)

Your on shaky ground LF32....these E-mails....are being done/edited/setup by the LAO scumbag lawyer. Why would the scumbag lawyer want a e-mail response from you that is high conflict...hmmmm......for Trial maybe is one answer.

Your EX picked you because your a trusting sucker......the BOBBER will be placed in the water....maybe a few tugs on the line.....and WHAMO ...LF32 swallows the hook line and sinker.

Your putting a lot of emotional weight ......for the worm (D3) on that hook LF32....what happens if you get hooked for dinner (Trial)?

Do not get your hopes up....be optimistic ....but hopes are to be dashed in Family Court just because scumbags want to see if something can be flushed out to help them.
The villagers (your extended family) getting them riled up for things...isn't a good idea.

This is a step by step process....a grind

I have no friggin idea what parallel parenting is.....just like I had no idea what "change of circumstance meant with regards to interim shizzle

If it means both parents are hostile.....fine......you aren't

LF3 didn't have any RIGHTS until about...a week ago?

LAO scumbag lawyer has to follow the Motion Order.....at this point if Goldilocks fuks up ....Custody goes to LF32.....in about 6 months (Trial)

So just like Goldilocks kissed LF32 before he went to work and abducted his child.....she's going to kiss him now.

That part of the GAME is fine (let's play great parents)......but when LF32 starts digging for basic items like a address for his kid....or OFW (court useable)....the fangs come out again.

This is the ENDGAME for Trial.....where the fly catches the spider...LMAO

LF32 is already comatose that Goldilocks can't get a school equivalency in Ontario for her Quebec education......she's had 8 months to get that.

no job in 8 months....no resumes.

Play LA-LA games on Halloween costumes....but that's the tip of the iceberg....you need you access....this is what you are blackmailed into.

?.....blackmailed!.....yeah.....your EOW and every Wed/Thurs.....Halloween or no Halloween

You wait till around Christmas time.. anyways right now don't complicate things...in E-mails ( note....pricks plan things well in advance)

The day after the SC/TMC is a brand new day....your done with the formalities of Emergency Motions....Conferences...Motions......that's all over.

That March 2014 APPLICATION for SOLE....is now for you to win or lose...it's your day to decide (most already decided) if you get sole custody

I can go 20 years past Headwaters....if you don't put a mad dog down up front.....you'll never recognize the pups later.

There's maneuvering for LF32 before Trial .....on Trial day....even before the Trial starts in the hallway and oddly when your sitting with the Trial judge, there's one last maneuver judges love to avoid sitting over BULLSH!T for days.
,
Yes... so what.... you leave TRIAL with EOW...and wed/thur after Trial, that's in stone now ANYWAYS.

maybe you can get a little more.

Last edited by MrToronto; 10-30-2014 at 12:39 AM.
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  #25 (permalink)  
Old 10-30-2014, 12:50 AM
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E-mails

There is a lot of questions you want answers for......that's for lawyers.

Get your dribble glass out when dealing with the EX "personally" through whatever medium you two communicate.

There are loaded 12 midnight B.S items coming your way from the EX (she knows your routines)....2 days ...is your minimum response time

weekends forget it.....LMAO.....wait till Monday

Anything in a E-mail from Goldilocks, rest assured (LAO scumbag lawyer) spent 2 days planning how it was presented.

Your always dealing with the LAO scumbag lawyer....never forget that

Last edited by MrToronto; 10-30-2014 at 01:01 AM.
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  #26 (permalink)  
Old 10-30-2014, 09:21 AM
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Originally Posted by LovingFather32 View Post
I know what this is..don't worry. Sleight of hand. Illusions. Not just for me but for the judge also. She didn't suddenly have a revelation that she wants 50/50 and to be nice. Right after 50 allegations. She was balling in the courtroom asking her lawyer if they could argue the motion results. She didn't want this. Its a game. A disgusting one

All I know is I see D3 this weekend. Round 1 over. I get to return to the corner and have a rest, grab a gulp of water and re energize for the next round. Seeing D3 will provide this.
Now, you have a chance to work the status quo in your favour. After a month or two of her having to pick up the child Thursday only to deliver her again on Friday when it's your weekend, you could suggest that you just keep her Wednesday through Monday on your weekends. Your ex might be very receptive to that if she's really driving from Quebec each time. Let that become the routine, then start investigating activities for your daughter on Thursdays, and present it as a good reason to have every Thursday, instead of just alternating Thursdays. Presto changeo, you're on 2-2-5, and you can have it entrenched in an order next time you're in court.
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  #27 (permalink)  
Old 10-31-2014, 08:26 AM
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Here's hoping the exchange goes smoothly today LF!

Enjoy trick or treating and every moment of your weekend
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  #28 (permalink)  
Old 10-31-2014, 08:40 AM
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Good luck today LF32!

I finally get to have my son for Halloween for the first time since he was a baby tonight... he's 7 now. Ex unilaterally cancelled my access every other Halloween in his life and threatened me with the cops if I dared show up.

Unfortunately for me he's sick today and might not go trick or treating after all. Argh, such is life.
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  #29 (permalink)  
Old 10-31-2014, 11:26 AM
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Thanks everyone. Witness - check. Recorder - check.

Let's see how this goes. Id like to show up early and not have to go in to Tim Horton's. Just kneel down to D3's height and make no eye contact with ex.

Mr. T....From what I've been through these past 9 months, trust me I see these "gummy bear" e-mails for what they're worth. Nothing. I know her game. At the same time I have to not seem high conflict by not responding or saying the wrong things. So I'm treading lightly and playing it smart.

FFF .. congrats on seeing our kid today. Sucks that he's sick but make some hot chocolate and watch some halloween specials (Charlie Brown used to be my fav at 7).

Rioe: Good point. Im sure she'll be staying in her free second home here in ONT on those Thursdays but we'll see. Im sure my denials will start being collected again.

I wish you all a good weekend. Cherish every second with your child. You never know when you may not see them often anymore It happens with the snap of the fingers.
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  #30 (permalink)  
Old 10-31-2014, 12:02 PM
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Originally Posted by FightingForFamily View Post
Good luck today LF32!

Unfortunately for me he's sick today and might not go trick or treating after all. Argh, such is life.
You can still let him dress up and maybe hand out candy to the kids that come to your door. When mine were little if they weren't too sick (sniffles) I'd take them through an apartment building then let them do the handouts from home.
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