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Divorce Support This forum is for discussing the emotional aspects of divorce: stress, anger, betrayal of trust and more.

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  #11 (permalink)  
Old 10-28-2014, 01:16 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Links17 View Post
Haha, settlement.... yeah right - you are going to get offered EoW.

Shared residency will only come about by a judge's order.
I know EOW will be my only offer. I expect that.
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Old 10-28-2014, 02:16 PM
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Originally Posted by LovingFather32 View Post
I know EOW will be my only offer. I expect that.
I'm guessing for you EOW=every other week, and for her it means every other weekend.
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  #13 (permalink)  
Old 10-28-2014, 03:13 PM
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One thing I learned very quickly was to not worry about what could happen. Just be prepared for anything...

You can only control you.

I agree their offer will be exactly what was ordered... You on the other hand want 50/50 which they will not agree too.
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  #14 (permalink)  
Old 10-29-2014, 12:05 AM
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The stench of child abduction and making allegations to get custody will linger all the way through this matter.

Will Goldilocks make more allegations at some future date....you bet she will.

Goldilocks wants Quebec and old goat....PERIOD

Her worst fear is if LF32's mom moves back into being huge in D3's life.

mediation or settlement is just a position in a SC/TMC to say "we tried".

I'm pissed you never asked for it first to head OP of at the pass.

Here's the first negotiating position....you want 8 months of missed time, back with D3...now that the joke on you is over for the OP. (is that unfair to ask?)

Goldilocks is high conflict, period, you think your going to get police enforcement as part of "settlement from them".

Your lucky LF32 she didn't just run to old goats with D3 and then come back for EOW.....Goldilocks already proved she wants you under a bus. Now you know you need that TOUGH court order for enforcement of it's terms.

It takes many many court appearances for many people to find that out.(years)

Who's the better parent? What's the test?

Stability for Goldilocks is a Action House? or No fixed address? or someday I'll let dad know

Goldilocks ran you down and everyone she could in your extended family,

Shrugged off family reunions, D3's Birthday and Fathers Day. NON ISSUE for her. Is there going to be a turnaround? The past will come up at Trial, and Goldilocks picked her poison.

Why would a judge give sole custody to a parent who doesn't look for a job and content to live on welfare? Child support will just be deducted from welfare.

She doesn't even look for a Job.....because she's in between provinces.

LF32 you have genuine concerns on how Goldilocks behaviour is affecting D3, it's provable now because of the Motion judges seeing through the B.S.

For the child's future well being, Goldilocks needs a 1000 percent turnaround, it will never happen.

She isn't going to "grow up" she just wants to drop D3 off at old goats and go out partying. There's a difference between child custody to do your own thing and child custody being a responsible adult raising a child.

The old goat should write up Goldilocks parenting plan, because Goldilocks can't think of one. (and it's obvious)

Last edited by MrToronto; 10-29-2014 at 12:08 AM.
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Old 10-29-2014, 08:27 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MrToronto View Post
The stench of child abduction and making allegations to get custody will linger all the way through this matter.
Yes it will. That's why this is not over. You mention make up time also. God knows I would love this and deserve this. I'm not sure how the courts see that avenue. Does anybody know?
Quote:
Originally Posted by MrToronto View Post
mediation or settlement is just a position in a SC/TMC to say "we tried".

I'm pissed you never asked for it first to head OP of at the pass.
I have 4 or 5 e-mails/letters offering mediation. You trained me well for that. I even gave options of different mediation services and showed my applications filled out. I even mention in e-mails that LAO has "free" mediation svc's that weren't offered to ex.

I called LAO a while back and was told that "DV Victims" don't even have to bat an eyelash at mediation. Thus, after this motion that may bite her in the behind.

OP spoke to my lawyer "on the phone yesterday" about discussing settlement. Nothing on paper yet. I think it would be advantageous to have my lawyer get that mediation letter out today to get the head start.

Quote:
Originally Posted by LF32 View Post
You're right. Her instability and incessant desire to shut myself and my family out of D3's life speaks volumes and this is something I'll have to wrestle with for the rest of my life with her.
WorkingDad's ex wont provide him her address either right now. I wonder if he's still pursuing that. Why are we not allowed to know where our children are staying when they're not with us?

I know WD's smart as hell .. why doesn't he have 9 orders granting him the right to know where she lives? Is it common practice in family law for this to still occur even after the "victim" label has been removed?

Quote:
Originally Posted by MrToronto View Post
LF32 you have genuine concerns on how Goldilocks behaviour is affecting D3, it's provable now because of the Motion judges seeing through the B.S.
I'm extremely concerned. The fact that she can roughly pull D3's arm at an exchange, forcing this little girl to turn her back to her nanny disgusts me. The alienation from my entire family kills me. There's just so much that turns my stomach. turned the judges stomach also.

Why ex didn't go in to this motion with a parenting plan is beyond me. She honestly just thinks she can say:

"hmm .. want to stay on welfare .. hide my residence .. keep D3 away from school and other children for 2 years .. oh yea, D3 has attachment issues and can only be around me .. oh I forgot, she only responds to females.

Quote:
Originally Posted by MrToronto View Post
Now you know you need that TOUGH court order for enforcement of it's terms
Had this discussion with my lawyer and she agrees. But we need to go in there with proof that she needs it. I know I know .. her conduct thus far illustrates this clearly. But she rode on OCL's back to fulfill her own needs then threw OCL away.

I have to let her screw up again. It's bound to happen. I bet ex will play the "D3's sick" card this weekend. The first time she screws up I get an enforcement order. All of her past conduct PLUS a new incident would get it for sure.

I agree that an e-mail outlining an offer for mediation, OFW, request for health/welfare (still don't have it -- flu shots?), health card copy, etc needs to get sent out.

Last edited by LovingFather32; 10-29-2014 at 08:30 AM.
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  #16 (permalink)  
Old 10-29-2014, 04:47 PM
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ALL things being equal between parents, who gets custody?

I imagine this 'settlement meeting" will be "off the record", when it happens and believe me the OP wants the meeting more than you do.

Not to settle anything but to show a Judge they tried
.

(less than 30 days until filing for SC/TMC)

Believe me OP will want meeting after meeting after meeting until they arrive in front of a Judge.

Where did all your preparation time go for the SC/TMC to ask for items for Trial? WASTED IN MEETING (s)

What's the Judge going to hear from both parties "we are working on it", and out the door you go probably to another conference.

During the wait, the new interim access gets solidified and custody will obviously be harder to obtain.

You need something not "off the record at a settlement meeting " but useable in Court that makes you look GOOD.

My answer is a prior letter to LAO scumbag lawyer on "conditions" or subject matter to be covered for the meeting(s). A brief outline that's reasonable to a common sense person (judge) reading it.

1) We would love to have full disclosure before the meeting when can we expect the Affidavit of Doc's.
2) Goldilocks's address prior to meeting or assurances it will be done at meeting.
3) Like to chat about make-up time for 8 months DAD lost due to false allegations
4) Dad will be discussing Health Welfare and Education at the meeting, please bring
5) OFW because of false allegation and hostile parent.
6) I'm sure you'll agree that terms enforceable by the police are required.

...anyways short list

OP won't agree to none of it of course...so why would they bother with "settlement" ....because it's smoke and mirrors and another delay to cause confusion.

SECONDLY

Family Court is a great place to dredge up the past and also forget about it.

Like PRESTO lets settle this today!......this comes out of nowhere and it's music to one parties ears.

Judge doesn't know about 10,000 access request that were ignored....or 10,000 mediation requests...or 10000 health and welfare requests.

All a Judge see's is "settlement failed" and that's all LAO scumbag lawyer wants a Judge to see.

adding "connecting the dot" stuff in letters is advisable:

1) ....we are hopeful your client accepts mediation although it has been rejected 10 previous times.

2)......dialogue is key between parties, your client declined the use of a communication book in the past as an alternative we offer OFW, both subscriber fees paid by us.

...other items to connect the past to the present in a nice way.

Anyways you get the pre-settlement letter as a gift...knowing the LAO scumbag lawyers isn't interested in "settlement"....and if it's worded nicely...a Judge will understand why "no settlement happened"

EX isn't going to move on Custody.....LAO scumbag lawyer is going to use your "good faith" against you,to keep you off your feet....so your not working on your position for Trial.

After the SC/TMC...it's the big show......your either ready for it or your not

SC\TMC is for preparing for Trial. PERIOD

Last edited by MrToronto; 10-29-2014 at 04:59 PM.
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  #17 (permalink)  
Old 10-29-2014, 07:34 PM
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Why is this woman on welfare? Was she a stay at home mom?

Her addy is none of the op's business.

Parallel parenting should be pursued with a high conflict ex. Its obvious working together for the best interests of the child will be out of the question in this case.

op just might get custody here because the ex seems to think that she has dib's on custody. NOT! Both parents have the RIGHT to parent their child.
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  #18 (permalink)  
Old 10-29-2014, 08:47 PM
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Her address is absolutely his business. He has a right to know where his child is staying. Would you be okay with your children staying with the other parent if you had no idea where that was?
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  #19 (permalink)  
Old 10-29-2014, 09:46 PM
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Interestingly she's replied to my e-mail.

Talking about the exchange, saying she'll provide a copy of the health card...even asked if she should feed her before the exchange since its at 5:00pm and its a busy Halloween night. Also asked if she could wear the costume that D3 picked out and is excited to wear (of course she can).

She said it's a good idea to communicate through e-mail until "things get settled with D3".

So all of a sudden she wears a halo. Interesting. The "fear" she had of me .. of D3 seeing me .. just evaporates in to the air.

Mr. T may be right .. this is all the judge will look at now in terms of custody arrangements I bet. At this point ex having sole is not even an option to me. Sole custody entails major decision making. Ex has shown her decision making skills in the past 9 months.

Only after thousands of dollars, many tears, a paternal family full of broken hearts and a thunderous motion did she smarten up.

"wantmyfreedom". I agree with Berner here. I'd like to know where my child resides when she's not with me. I do believe I have that right.

As for parallel parenting? It's an option. This new "friendly e-mailing" thing just changed the game a bit I think ... or did it? I don't think the storm's over. Still nasty court dates to go.

Mr. T's correct .. I need to prep hardcore for the SC/TMC.
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  #20 (permalink)  
Old 10-29-2014, 09:57 PM
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Wow. Beware of " nice" emails amd," Olive branches". They crack and drop you down. Do not let your guard down. Yes, of course she is all about communication she knows she has lost this battle but the war is not yet lost. She will be cutting her losses and going for EOW and midweek access then once she has that she will be a nightmare of excuses and sick child and oh she does not want to go with you. Oh she has dance classes, so forth! Stay your ground and keep her running. Do not let the judge forget she denied you access and has shown she will do so again. You want and deserve 50/50.
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