Ottawa Divorce .com Forums


User CP

New posts

Advertising

  Ottawa Divorce .com Forums > Main Category > Divorce Support

Divorce Support This forum is for discussing the emotional aspects of divorce: stress, anger, betrayal of trust and more.

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
  #1 (permalink)  
Old 02-03-2014, 07:10 PM
Janibel's Avatar
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Way up North
Posts: 1,496
Janibel will become famous soon enough
Default Legal Abuse Syndrome?

Legal Abuse Syndrome

"I became depressed, physically ill and seriously suicidal after experiencing the insanity of litigation. I lost my home and was sent to the street with nothing but the clothes on my back. Literally everything I owned was gone for several years. I fought my fight to points of exhaustion where all I could do was stare into space. Friends had left; I was emotionally isolated and normal living activities were no longer normal. Rage doesn't come close to describing the feelings I lived with for years. Even this is far from the full story of how bad it got." -- The Founder Of Caught.net and The Pro Se Way

Yep, after reading the above article, I'm fairly certain that I suffer from legal abuse syndrome - my case is going on 2 years, and still no relief in site!
Reply With Quote
  #2 (permalink)  
Old 02-03-2014, 08:10 PM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Ottawa
Posts: 172
AnarX is on a distinguished road
Default

The legal abuse pales in comparison to the heartache and the emotional abuse I had to take.

I am not sure if that makes me luck or not. However, I do not think Legal Abuse can be cleanly separated from any other concommitent form of abuse even if they occurred in the past.

This is all to say that a person who suffered abuse during the marriage does not have a fair start when it comes to tackling the legal nonsense that is coming ahead.
Reply With Quote
  #3 (permalink)  
Old 02-03-2014, 08:40 PM
Janibel's Avatar
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Way up North
Posts: 1,496
Janibel will become famous soon enough
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by AnarX View Post

This is all to say that a person who suffered abuse during the marriage does not have a fair start when it comes to tackling the legal nonsense that is coming ahead.
^^^I agree. I personally had hopeful expectations that the 'system' would help with my situation since the cause of our split was abuse proven in criminal court - I know better now.

My litigation has been reduced to nothing more than damage control ... it would be easy to simply give in and give up at this point. I've considered changing lawyers, though I seriously doubt that it would make any notable difference as it's the system itself that is useless and corrupt.
Reply With Quote
  #4 (permalink)  
Old 02-03-2014, 10:01 PM
arabian's Avatar
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Western Canada
Posts: 9,962
arabian will become famous soon enough
Default

I think I understand where you are coming from Janibel. I have spent many years in family court as well as some time in criminal court regarding my ex. It is an exhausting experience. Anger and outrage does keep the fire blazing.

I don't understand the cross-over between family and criminal court in your particular situation. I do know that at one time I had a family lawyer, corporate lawyer as well as a criminal lawyer. My personal experience led me to conclude that family law trumps all. Having an excellent family lawyer is very, very important. A good lawyer will tell you the worst case scenario right from the start. A good lawyer wants to win in court and will encourage those who have not-so-solid cases to settle.

Unless someone has a gaggle of money and a very solid set of facts and case law to back them, they aren't going to be setting any legal-precedent setting case. That is the reality of it all. Therefore, us mere mortals have to make sure we have lawyers who keep us focussed on the task at hand. Behaving badly doesn't matter in family court. It comes down to the cases that have been fought and won before us.

If our expectations are too lofty then of course we will be brought back down to earth very quickly.

Canada embraces no-fault divorce so I guess it makes sense that little satisfaction can be realized by those who are wronged and who seek retribution.
Reply With Quote
  #5 (permalink)  
Old 02-03-2014, 10:52 PM
Janibel's Avatar
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Way up North
Posts: 1,496
Janibel will become famous soon enough
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by arabian View Post
I don't understand the cross-over between family and criminal court in your particular situation. I do know that at one time I had a family lawyer, corporate lawyer as well as a criminal lawyer.

Canada embraces no-fault divorce so I guess it makes sense that little satisfaction can be realized by those who are wronged and who seek retribution.
No-fault divorce, that is the problem Arabian, it was supposedly created to help parties settle faster, not having a need to 'prove' any wrongdoing by simply splitting the financials down the middle and calling it a day.

But then again when criminal charges - or in your case - both criminal and corporate problems 'are' the cause of the faulty marriage and have caused serious prejudice - no fault divorce makes absolutely no sense.

I have one lawyer for the criminal issues of my divorce, another for the civil issues and neither communicate with each other ... wth?
Reply With Quote
  #6 (permalink)  
Old 02-03-2014, 11:05 PM
arabian's Avatar
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Western Canada
Posts: 9,962
arabian will become famous soon enough
Default

well I wouldn't go so far as to blame the criminal issues for the marriage ending. My ex did indeed have an affair with the long-time employee's wife, the adultery was really a handy way for me to expedite the divorce to hopefully minimize the criminal bleeding off of our corporate assets. In the end I lost everything anyhow but the family court process was handy in that I have a good solid SS order which outlives bankruptcy. Collecting on everything is an entirely different matter. [Cough Cough]

I really thought that at my age I would be looking forward to retirement. I'm sure my ex thought the same thing as well at one time. Nope, he stuck his dicky into the wrong sort of chicky.

Last edited by arabian; 02-03-2014 at 11:12 PM.
Reply With Quote
  #7 (permalink)  
Old 02-04-2014, 12:42 AM
Janibel's Avatar
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Way up North
Posts: 1,496
Janibel will become famous soon enough
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by arabian View Post
I really thought that at my age I would be looking forward to retirement. I'm sure my ex thought the same thing as well at one time. Nope, he stuck his dicky into the wrong sort of chicky.
LOL! As far as I can see - the only ones who will be enjoying a well-deserved retirement is our lawyers!
Reply With Quote
  #8 (permalink)  
Old 02-04-2014, 12:55 AM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Ottawa
Posts: 172
AnarX is on a distinguished road
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Janibel View Post
No-fault divorce, that is the problem Arabian, it was supposedly created to help parties settle faster, not having a need to 'prove' any wrongdoing by simply splitting the financials down the middle and calling it a day.
That is how it is sold but in practice, we all delude ourselves into thinking the law is followed.

The reality is that in practice, we do have a fault-based system with a stacked deck. We just do not see it that way.

Every custody battle or argument in favor of spousal support or an uneven asset split is a covert fault-based application of law.

Last edited by AnarX; 02-04-2014 at 12:58 AM.
Reply With Quote
  #9 (permalink)  
Old 02-04-2014, 01:00 AM
arabian's Avatar
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Western Canada
Posts: 9,962
arabian will become famous soon enough
Default

Part of my satisfaction is that ex's g/f has so much dirt on him now that he's stuck with her.

Yeah karma baby.
Reply With Quote
  #10 (permalink)  
Old 02-04-2014, 01:06 AM
arabian's Avatar
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Western Canada
Posts: 9,962
arabian will become famous soon enough
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by AnarX View Post
...The reality is that in practice, we do have a fault-based system with a stacked deck. We just do not see it that way...
It is what it is. You cheat, lie, steal then you get what you sow in my opinion.

My ex and I were 50-50 business partners in an incorporated business. Had he been anything other than my then-estranged husband I could have had him arrested for fraud over 5k and theft. So hell yes I guess it was a "stacked deck" - in his favour at the start.

When business and marriage intertwine things are not so simple.
Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Clipping Legal Aid's wings ByMyself Political Issues 9 12-06-2013 07:16 PM
Legal Aid's Wings?? SadAndTired Divorce & Family Law 13 09-19-2013 10:31 AM
Truism Exposed?: Legal Aid Ontario overwhelmed: Goar Tayken Divorce & Family Law 4 07-19-2013 01:38 PM
Legal Aid Ontario and Family Law – Their Role Tayken Political Issues 15 11-30-2012 11:51 PM
Professional & Clinical Obligation to Report Abuse Tayken Domestic Violence 0 08-08-2012 11:03 AM


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 03:53 PM.