Ottawa Divorce .com Forums

User CP

New posts


  Ottawa Divorce .com Forums > Main Category > Divorce Support

Divorce Support This forum is for discussing the emotional aspects of divorce: stress, anger, betrayal of trust and more.

LinkBack Thread Tools
  #21 (permalink)  
Old 02-28-2016, 03:01 PM
Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 1,332
Beachnana is on a distinguished road

So let them feel no pressure, no pushing. Just a place where Dad is and calls home and they can be themselves. As you said Mom will make hers a place of all about Mom but you need to make your home all about them. Accept them, let them make decisions regarding what they need.

I would think the first time they would likely come with just some clothes for the time they are there, but as they realize you are cool with their decisions and letting things go back and forth as they need they will likely start bringing more and leaving more.

As long as when they come they bring the fun and laughter of being with you and when they leave they leave knowing you are there for them unconditionally and you have the echoes of their happy times in their home with you then that's what matters. Not half of everything they own.

Concentrate on them the people.
Reply With Quote
  #22 (permalink)  
Old 02-28-2016, 09:53 PM
Hand of Justice
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: In the Shadows
Posts: 3,139
Links17 is on a distinguished road

I tell my kids they can take whatever they want wherever thyey want, there are so many other real problems to worry about that IDC if they a 10$ pair of pants or a toy back and forth, the divorce cost $100,000 and I pay her so much money every month everything else like this is small potatoes...
Reply With Quote
  #23 (permalink)  
Old 03-06-2016, 10:46 PM
mafia007's Avatar
Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Ottawa
Posts: 234
mafia007 is on a distinguished road

Funny... no I should say " strange ".

After I saw and talked to the kids yesterday, I send a new text message to them to let them know that I was happy to see them and couldn't wait to see them next Thursday for our first visit. Once again, no response.

I remember my gf asking the children if they were anxious to come back at home after so many months and if they were happy about it. My S15 was speechless and D13 murmured she didn't know. Looks like they are always worried of what to say as if they were being watched or heard. D8 had lots to say. She's excited to see our little T-cup chiwawa and going back in the hot tub. No matter what, I can tell, she's the one who will always stand up and express what she really feels.

I know I'll have to be patient but I need my kids, S15 and D13 to accept and realize that things has changed and they will now spend time with their father in another home than the one they are still living with their mother. If we can run into a real schedule, where they can sleep, eat, take a shower, a bath, play games, do their homework, watch TV, play with friends... maybe it would be easier to settle.

The system makes it so slow and hard to reach 50/50, no wonder the children are a little reluctant to change.
Reply With Quote
  #24 (permalink)  
Old 03-20-2016, 01:14 PM
mafia007's Avatar
Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Ottawa
Posts: 234
mafia007 is on a distinguished road

Now that I'm starting to see my kids, they reply and communicate by text messages when they're not at home with their mother. D13 had several sleepovers during the March Break and every time she was with her friends, she would text me some messages. Very brief little messages but this is all I need for the moment. :-)
Reply With Quote
  #25 (permalink)  
Old 03-21-2016, 12:20 PM
Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Posts: 228
PeacefulMoments is on a distinguished road

Happy to hear things are going well!
Reply With Quote
  #26 (permalink)  
Old 04-14-2016, 01:11 PM
plainNamedDad44's Avatar
Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 796
plainNamedDad44 is on a distinguished road

Hi M007,

I have been through what your going through. If you love your children they will know, and I you can never lose them.

I had to change cities, jobs, and abandon gf and business to pursue them, but now all 4 of my children have chosen to live with me.

Don't give up, and always show them you love them. They will respond. It just takes time.
Reply With Quote

Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Notice of contempt motion WorkingDAD Divorce & Family Law 8 01-17-2012 12:18 PM
Long and in need of some sympathetic advise! whatsup Divorce Support 8 03-18-2010 08:28 AM
Help! My ex got a desk divorce, doesn't pay child support, I appealed - will it be OK Jane007 Divorce & Family Law 6 01-22-2009 07:06 AM
Long-winded question about custody MommaFish Divorce & Family Law 7 08-21-2008 12:29 PM
Where to pcik the kids up... OB1 Divorce Support 5 07-25-2006 05:55 PM

All times are GMT -4. The time now is 07:24 AM.