Ottawa Divorce .com Forums


User CP

New posts

Advertising

  Ottawa Divorce .com Forums > Main Category > Divorce Support

Divorce Support This forum is for discussing the emotional aspects of divorce: stress, anger, betrayal of trust and more.

Closed Thread
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
  #11 (permalink)  
Old 06-22-2013, 02:54 PM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 546
BitHunter is on a distinguished road
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mother View Post
I don't drink, don't smoke, don't do drugs.
That's the problem right there!

If the child is already a grown-up, then what's the problem? When sharing the property is completed, all ends! You never need to talk to or see your ex! Even better: you can freely move to (almost) any countries in the world, or anywhere here in Canada, and spend the rest of your life happily with skiing or scuba diving or wine making! I wish I was in your place!!!!!
  #12 (permalink)  
Old 06-22-2013, 02:58 PM
Janibel's Avatar
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Way up North
Posts: 1,497
Janibel will become famous soon enough
Default

I agree Caranna, we have to be open to a new life if we are ever to get over the 'old' one.

Today, the roof is leaking, and every drop in the bucket drives me nuts. Somebody from the Bank called to complain about my STBX CC bills being late. Oh! what fun .....

Tomorrow will be better.
  #13 (permalink)  
Old 06-22-2013, 03:02 PM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Kitchener Ontario
Posts: 5,203
standing on the sidelines is on a distinguished road
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Janibel View Post
I agree Caranna, we have to be open to a new life if we are ever to get over the 'old' one.

Today, the roof is leaking, and every drop in the bucket drives me nuts. Somebody from the Bank called to complain about my STBX CC bills being late. Oh! what fun .....

Tomorrow will be better.
That is the key phrase, there will be bad days but there will be good days. Eventually the good days will be plentiful and the bad days will be far and few between.
  #14 (permalink)  
Old 06-22-2013, 10:23 PM
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 10
Grateful is on a distinguished road
Default

The best advice I got was to go to therapy. With no insurance and bills coming out of every corner, it seemed totally indulgent.. But it's the best money I've spent IN MY LIFE. 4 sessions with a (very skilled) therapist and my head was back on straight. Not just re: my ex, but in regards to other negative relationships as well. I wasn't looking for a long-term relationship with someone who would help me analyze all aspects of my life. I needed the equivalent of ER therapy :-) Strategies and coping skills to make it through.
  #15 (permalink)  
Old 06-22-2013, 10:48 PM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 908
caranna is on a distinguished road
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Janibel View Post
I agree Caranna, we have to be open to a new life if we are ever to get over the 'old' one.

Today, the roof is leaking, and every drop in the bucket drives me nuts. Somebody from the Bank called to complain about my STBX CC bills being late. Oh! what fun .....

Tomorrow will be better.
Janibel, I hope that you can get the STBX to fund the roof repair/replacement, as a leaky roof can considerably lower your houses' value and you want to sell it soon. As I have sole title to the house, I have been paying for every expense.
  #16 (permalink)  
Old 06-23-2013, 12:07 AM
Janibel's Avatar
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Way up North
Posts: 1,497
Janibel will become famous soon enough
Default

I wish that I could get him to fix the place up - he's a carpenter and it would be simple for him. The problem is the restraining order. I don't dare call him for anything as this would harm my credibility ( at least that's what my lawyer has advised ).

STBX claims to have no money and I sure can't afford to hire a roofer to do the job. I'll have to bug my lawyer and see what he thinks about this.
  #17 (permalink)  
Old 06-23-2013, 12:12 AM
Janibel's Avatar
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Way up North
Posts: 1,497
Janibel will become famous soon enough
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Grateful View Post
The best advice I got was to go to therapy.I needed the equivalent of ER therapy :-) Strategies and coping skills to make it through.
I agree, I did have some free therapy at the Domestic Violence Center and it really helped a lot. There were men there as well (can happen to anyone).
What was surprising to me was the diversity of ages and situations. There really is no 'typical' victim - could be anyone with a heart.
  #18 (permalink)  
Old 06-23-2013, 04:21 PM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: GTA, ON
Posts: 537
Mother is an unknown quantity at this point
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by BitHunter View Post
That's the problem right there!

If the child is already a grown-up, then what's the problem? When sharing the property is completed, all ends! You never need to talk to or see your ex! Even better: you can freely move to (almost) any countries in the world, or anywhere here in Canada, and spend the rest of your life happily with skiing or scuba diving or wine making! I wish I was in your place!!!!!
That's it and I always knew there is something wrong with me in this department.

Just trust me, you don't want to be envious of my situation, just trust me on this and between us girls, the child in the middle of the fight is not even my child (in a sense)!

Now you are confused, aren't you?
  #19 (permalink)  
Old 06-23-2013, 07:45 PM
Janibel's Avatar
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Way up North
Posts: 1,497
Janibel will become famous soon enough
Default

How can a child be not yours in a sense? She is or she isn't no?

Over the years I've learned NOT to be envious of anyone. A lot of us suffer from the 'grass-is-greener' syndrome, and it's usually a mistake.

Years ago, I was amazed with my neighbors who managed to both purchase new cars every 2 or 3 years - had a big McMansion type home. Later (when they were divorced), she admitted that they where up to their wazoo in debts. Live n' learn.
  #20 (permalink)  
Old 06-26-2013, 12:43 PM
Junior Member
 
Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 15
sos2013 is on a distinguished road
Default

One step at a time!! Finally ending a financially, emotionally, and physically abusive relationship after 18 years...finally!!! LOL I am working 3-5 jobs all the time and thankful everyday that I can work now. I was in such a black hole, working seemed impossible. Time does make a difference...give yourself time. I wish you all the best...all of you!! Blessings to each of you!!! BTW...I think I will get my hair cut...it's been a few years!!!
Closed Thread


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
The time has arrived - the hard issues of money and keeping the lights on. ddol1 Divorce & Family Law 10 09-01-2011 10:15 AM
handwritten or computerized record keeping Foredeck Divorce & Family Law 5 02-23-2010 08:55 AM
Keeping and Caring for my daughter without CAS getting involved!! info1 Divorce & Family Law 10 11-13-2009 04:12 PM
Keeping Divorced Dads at a Distance Decent Dad Political Issues 8 07-01-2006 12:13 PM


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 04:56 PM.