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Divorce Support This forum is for discussing the emotional aspects of divorce: stress, anger, betrayal of trust and more.

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  #61 (permalink)  
Old 11-22-2013, 11:12 AM
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-is that part of it is an illusion that fades after time but cognitive dissonance doesn't allow backtracking.
Well, this fits your mindset. You cannot accept the fact that some people truly improve their life and its potential outcome by getting out of a bad marriage. I can tell you right now that I was in a horrific marriage that would have shortened the duration of my life had I stayed in it. Bad marriages literally make you ill.

I literally wake up every day thankful that I'm out of that situation and that's no illusion.

Quote:
They will and they do and people also have the freedom to all sorts of things which are not healthy for them and/or children and I think that is a valuable part of the society we live in.
Again, your reality isn't everyone else's. You might be in a worse position since divorce but not everyone is.

Quote:
-part of it is related to the victory women have court rooms (financially, chidren etc...)
Do you read this forum? There are many women on here that fight as hard as men during divorce to maintain their parental rights...to get fair equalization and CS....to pay legal fees. Again, insulting nonsense.

Quote:
-it could also be really crappy husbands but my money is on that most men are pretty similar and you trade one set of problems for another set.
Even you can't possibly believe this?!? Do you really walk around thinking all women are the same and that you'll have problems with every one of them? (Why am I not surprised?)

People are very much individuals and my personal opinion is that if you come out of a divorce with a positive, healthy outlook, you can focus on what compatibility factors really work for you.

Quote:
I'm just a realist about divorce but I'm still committed to make the best of it anyways.
Your divorce experience applies to you. Your reality isn't everyone else's...period.
  #62 (permalink)  
Old 11-22-2013, 12:20 PM
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For the love of God.... ANYTHING is possible for you and me - but on a societal level there is a an overall net-negative impact.....

I'm not going to respond to your comments about my personal experience and the other points but you're way off base.... I mentioned only a subset of points that I clearly indicated are based on just my intuition but the rest of the points are based on supporting documents (open to be argued against).
  #63 (permalink)  
Old 11-23-2013, 08:03 AM
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I admire you all who have had the strenth to leave abusive partners. My ex became a monster after his accident. His disability was my fault. I was the reason for his depression and misery. I became his punching bag and he was a coward to be like this only behind doors. In front of others he was the guy who would never even hurt a fly. And I was told to put up with his crap becoz he was suffering and I had to be there for him becoz it was my job as wife.
I do not know what gave me the strenth to leave him but I'm so happy I did. I deserved so much better and my boyfriend is exact opposite of my ex. I am so blessed and I pray the same for all of u.
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