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Divorce Support This forum is for discussing the emotional aspects of divorce: stress, anger, betrayal of trust and more.

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  #21 (permalink)  
Old 11-17-2013, 10:33 AM
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My ex beat me unconscious, broke bones, got arrested. We are "friends" now. Divorced with no lawyers involved (i had one free consult and that was it). Split all we had just between the two of us. His salary was 3x of what I had at the time. He paid $200 a month for one child, no SS. He said he will give me this much and I said it's ok. Just wanted peace and ability to come home with no one there to drive me insane. Never wished him to die. He will one day, we all will.
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Old 11-17-2013, 11:49 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by caranna View Post
He never apologized, except when I asked him for one decades later, and he yelled, "I'm sorry, are you happy now?" Far from a sincere and heartfelt one.

Yes, I have had those fantasies, but they were only that...fantasies. I would never act on them. If I saw him bleeding on the roadside, I would help him. I have moved on with my life and have found peace
.

Same here, he will never apologize or even admit to what happened regardless of police and ER staff documentation. I have had my fun imagining scenario's where I would make him pay .... waste of time, I would never stoop to his level regardless of Karmic implications.

Though if he were to pass away of natural causes or whatever else - the only one who would be sad, would be his lawyer (maybe?) as the Ex has burned all his bridges ....
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Old 11-17-2013, 12:01 PM
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I certainly don't hate my ex. I have survived this divorce instead by carrying on and thinking of happier times we spent together and just doing whatever needs to be done.

Now that I've said the politically correct niceties, however, I have to say that I would take great satisfaction if I were to hear of him suffering any consequences of his actions.

I hope his hemaroids are horrific and cause him many sleepless nights.
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Old 11-17-2013, 12:14 PM
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Originally Posted by arabian View Post
I certainly don't hate my ex. I have survived this divorce instead by carrying on and thinking of happier times we spent together and just doing whatever needs to be done.

Now that I've said the politically correct niceties, however, I have to say that I would take great satisfaction if I were to hear of him suffering any consequences of his actions.

I hope his hemaroids are horrific and cause him many sleepless nights.
That's a punishment and a half LOL
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Old 11-17-2013, 12:19 PM
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For his g/f I wish her severe pink eye on Christmas and a big batch of boils under her arm pits on New Years Eve.
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Old 11-17-2013, 12:20 PM
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I know what you mean, I "fell" of my bike a lot or said I was just clumsy. He applied for an FAC licence and told me that if I said anything to the police if they asked about the relationship he would make sure I regretted it. Stuck between a rock and hard place there either get the shit kicked out of me for saying something or allow a man who had an anger issue to have a firearm. Later when he got a gun he was in a rage, took the gun, loaded it and pointed it at me. He said it would be so easy. Needless to say it I started to plan my escape then.

Amazing how we hide the stuff but later on when asked people told me they thought he was hitting me as I never was that clumsy before. They didn't want to ask and instead thought it better to wait till I said something.
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Old 11-17-2013, 12:39 PM
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Standing - how awful for you. I am glad that you are in a safe place now and the terror is hopefully behind you. Did your ex isolate you from friends and family as well?

Family violence is an issue that unfortunately often goes unaddressed. There is an increased reporting of abuse against men likely because men probably don't think that a) they would be taken seriously by the police and b) socially implausible to many that a woman could terrorize and physically abuse a man.

I wonder if the abusers were bullies as children?

I often thought that perhaps I should have hired a thug to take care of my husband and 'convince' him of the errors of his ways. It would have been much cheaper. Alas, I am a law-abiding citizen and this just didn't sit well with me - lucky ex.
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Old 11-17-2013, 12:48 PM
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Originally Posted by arabian View Post

I hope his hemaroids are horrific and cause him many sleepless nights.
Hahaha, good one! Now 'that' is what I call Karma - he had it coming to him for being such a royal pain in the A$$!
  #29 (permalink)  
Old 11-17-2013, 01:03 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by arabian View Post
Standing - how awful for you. I am glad that you are in a safe place now and the terror is hopefully behind you. Did your ex isolate you from friends and family as well?

Family violence is an issue that unfortunately often goes unaddressed. There is an increased reporting of abuse against men likely because men probably don't think that a) they would be taken seriously by the police and b) socially implausible to many that a woman could terrorize and physically abuse a man.

I wonder if the abusers were bullies as children?

I often thought that perhaps I should have hired a thug to take care of my husband and 'convince' him of the errors of his ways. It would have been much cheaper. Alas, I am a law-abiding citizen and this just didn't sit well with me - lucky ex.
I wasn't allowed friends, could not see my family at all, was just allowed to go to work and that was it. If one of our friends asked me to come over he had to come along.

The worst part, once time I got brave and went to the police with bruises on my neck. The asked if there were witnesses and when I said now they asked would he admit doing it. I said no and they told me they wouldn't do anything as too many woman do this then when it goes to court change their minds and refuse to testify. That was before they changed the way the prosecuted domestic abuse to the way it is today.
  #30 (permalink)  
Old 11-17-2013, 01:06 PM
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Originally Posted by standing on the sidelines View Post
I wasn't allowed friends, could not see my family at all, was just allowed to go to work and that was it. If one of our friends asked me to come over he had to come along.

The worst part, once time I got brave and went to the police with bruises on my neck. The asked if there were witnesses and when I said now they asked would he admit doing it. I said no and they told me they wouldn't do anything as too many woman do this then when it goes to court change their minds and refuse to testify. That was before they changed the way the prosecuted domestic abuse to the way it is today.
Typical abuser's behavior. Was he like this from the very beginning or it transpired later into your relationship?
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