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Divorce Support This forum is for discussing the emotional aspects of divorce: stress, anger, betrayal of trust and more.

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  #21 (permalink)  
Old 06-03-2015, 10:21 PM
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Fighting a few weeks before court makes you look bad. Shes positioning. Cut her off.
  #22 (permalink)  
Old 06-03-2015, 10:28 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LovingFather32 View Post
NEW STUFF: Help for response.

Regarding the issue before (sitter vs. time on weeknight)

Her note: (actual words)
Quote:
As for Wednesdays, there is no point in continuing going back and forth about it. I would rather her be with me instead of a sitter but I don't think another change in her routine is in her best interests. I know we don't see it the same way but this is just like all our issues. You say you want to co-parent and cooperate with me in a positive fashion but this is only true when you get something from the situation.

I have tried to play nice on several occasions by giving you additional time on holiday weekends, March break and have asked for nothing in return when holidays/special events have occurred on your time. I have no obligation to give you any of these things as it has not been settled as of yet but I still do as I think D4 deserves to share these times with both of us. It's unfortunate that you don't seem to reciprocate this feeling.

D4 came home exhausted as always.
To be straight, she let me pick up D4 an hour early on March Break and Easter. From what I've heard, I should have at least got a day or two .. in the least.

Also, is she not changing her routine by wanting her on Wednesdays now (as Rioe stated)? Im off work in 3 weeks.

I now see her position in court regarding holiday access. I would give her anything she wants on holiday access. Im very reasonable.

Also...Im not "playing nice" as she is. I am genuinely nice.

Things seem to be falling apart with everything. Yikes!

It's going to be a hot summer.
Okay, first of all, my suggestion would be to type in her note from the book into your email like you did above (though make it clear it's from the communication book) so it's clear what you are replying to, and say something like "I prefer to keep these discussions to email as it can be more timely and private than the communication book." Then just write in the communication book that she should check her email for a response.

Now then. Here's a reply I can suggest:

Quote:
As always, I maintain that D4 deserves equal time with both of us. Until we have that, either by you agreeing to a 50-50 schedule as mentioned in one of my Offers to Settle or by a judge making a final court order, I am understandably reluctant to give up even an hour of my limited interim court-ordered time with her, and disappointed at how you consider an extra hour at March Break and Easter to be generosity on your part. I hope to settle into cooperative coparenting once we have a proper, equitable agreement and we are each able to feel free to deviate from that schedule for special occasions. I made efforts to do so at Christmas and regarding switching the upcoming Father's Day with St. Jean Baptiste Day and I will continue to do so.
I had something longer originally, but I think you really want to stick to the big picture rather than get drawn into a squabble of rebutting every sentence she writes. You just have to ignore her digs (you tire D4 out! haha!) and repeat your desire for cooperation on 50-50.

Sorry, Arabian, I used some "I" language!

Quote:
Originally Posted by LovingFather32 View Post
AGREED!!

Rioe .... I see you!! lol
Can't I read the new posts in chronological order in peace? Lol.
  #23 (permalink)  
Old 06-03-2015, 10:41 PM
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Awesome Rioe ... you suggest that she take D4 on St Jean Baptiste (June 24th) for my Fathers Day (June 21st). So ask for the overnight in that Sunday (Fathers day)?

Hmm .. interesting!

Now .. just to get her to read her e-mail.
  #24 (permalink)  
Old 06-03-2015, 10:51 PM
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Rioe - IIIII have no problem with that hahahah.
  #25 (permalink)  
Old 06-03-2015, 11:21 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LovingFather32 View Post
Awesome Rioe ... you suggest that she take D4 on St Jean Baptiste (June 24th) for my Fathers Day (June 21st). So ask for the overnight in that Sunday (Fathers day)?

Hmm .. interesting!

Now .. just to get her to read her e-mail.
I suggested that once already, many posts back. Did you miss it?
  #26 (permalink)  
Old 06-03-2015, 11:26 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rioe View Post
I suggested that once already, many posts back. Did you miss it?
Oh man. I must have! But I like it.

Rock has a point .. OP is trying to get me in to a fight right before court. That's all this is.

You're response seems pretty good.

For sure she'll be in QC for Baptiste. I like it!!
  #27 (permalink)  
Old 06-03-2015, 11:50 PM
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Take a "screenshot of the FB post" file it away ...Next to something you want to show in Court.....I imagine it'll be under no computer access

Is communication the REAL problem? Goldilocks may not want to say/write anything stupid

Where is this no wireless internet going? How does it affect chatting over D4?

DROP it if your communication is through other media types (write letters between each other)

Goldilocks wants to play in the communication book and thru LAO scumbag lawyer....PLAY and smile while doing it.

The "gatekeeper" stole that name and crown, I like Goldilocks (nothing is ever just right)

No matter what LF32 does he can't make Goldilocks happy over stealing his kid. (ODD)

Goldilocks will always be ALL OR NOTHING ..a lot hinges on her (free easy to say ) position.

Loss of custody and her dream of free child support in Quebec

Her dream is contingent on LF32 happily accepting less time and becoming LESS of a parent so she grabs SOLE

No LF32 wants 100% custody....but stuck at 39% because of allegations

LF32 do the ROYAL WAVE as you pass through the Court Hallways...wink at duty counsel..because you have a defence against allegations plus THE BEST PARENTING PLAN...and a job

D4 will benefit moochoo more with your setup

Goldilocks is a unemployed doper/drunk incoherent most times, but pulls it together to make useless statements in a communication book

Goldilocks sits for hours with her stoners drafting the junk (no pun intended) for your communication book

Say THANK-YOU always....and offer settlement foot in the door stuff)

Goldilocks' is as always (the power broker) drawing her own stupid... I guess, I assume, I thought, I THINK conclusions...BAHHHHH

Always PUSH for MORE (Oliver Twist) nicely.....your a equal parent

Let her be a DICTATOR of your rights as a parent she gave herself that crown...it never works against a SMART Patient DAD (with a job)
  #28 (permalink)  
Old 06-04-2015, 09:22 AM
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Quote:
D4 came home exhausted as always.
I remember these little zingers that ex would throw in her "communications", when she used to communicate via email. What an amusing, random comment.

She can't stop herself. Others are right, stay focused, and don't let her pull you into nonsense back-and-forth emails (especially this close to court) - that just keep repeating the same stupid stuff.
  #29 (permalink)  
Old 06-04-2015, 09:36 AM
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My partners ex would say "the bus/train was late". Like its his fault.

The exhausted thing is funny though. So what youre saying is she had fun? She played so hard she was tired? She wasnt interested in sitting through an interrogation? Im not a parent but if my kid came home from somewhere dirty, scraggly and completely spent, I would consider that they had an amazing time wherever they were and be happy.

Im sure a judge would agree.
  #30 (permalink)  
Old 06-04-2015, 10:06 AM
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Minority opinion here - why bother replying at all? There is no question being asked. There is no future plan being proposed. All I see is one parent complaining about the other parent and rehashing things that don't need rehashing.

Write (or type) a response if you think it would be cathartic to do so, but I don't see any point in clicking "send". Nothing you write is going to change Mom's view of the situation, just as this message doesn't change yours. She's wasting her time sending preachy and judgmental messages, why waste yours keeping the interaction going?
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