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Divorce Support This forum is for discussing the emotional aspects of divorce: stress, anger, betrayal of trust and more.

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Old 11-08-2012, 05:05 PM
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My concern with averaging 3 years is that while I am very organized with my receipts etc this year for business expenses, I haven't been in past years. They're asking for travel logs and categorized receipts for the past 3 years. I have bank statements and know the transactions, but they want every little receipt. Any advice here?
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Old 11-08-2012, 05:24 PM
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It sounds like your ex's lawyer is quite competent. I assume they have requested your bank statements as well. You would have your working papers for your income tax filings would you not? You say you are not organized. The other side will not care and will likely proceed to create their own set of books with or without your help. This is the very reason why I have, in our divorce judgment, an order for ex to turn over all original receipts as well as income statements. If I didn't request this I would not receive accurate business income/expense information.

Do your best (or at least try to show you are doing your best) to give the information they request. Once all the information is disclosed you can hopefully move on to come to an agreement on support.
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Old 11-08-2012, 06:35 PM
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Originally Posted by stressfultimes View Post
I want to base my income on this year, 2012. I'm usually around 100k or just over. We were together last year and she benefitted from the 135k already. It was one paticular deal that put me that high. What I am saying is that my 2012 will be an acurate reflection of my earnings. Its money that I don't have to give if they base in on me earning an extra 10k using the average!

2009 - 94k
2010 - 110k
2011 - 135k
2012 - 105k

Plus the fact that she could be earning another 10k.
I know that is what you want. It is absolutely reasonable and common for the courts to require a 3 year average. She is not asking for anything out of the ordinary.

Going forward, every spring you will exchange NOA's and base support amounts on the previous year's income. Your calculations will always be a year to a year and half behind. That is the reality most divorced couples live with.

If you are picking a fight over your income, you will probably lose. You can probably get her income imputed to 5 days a week. You can try to offer a compromise, but her asking for a three year average is perfectly reasonable.

And again, your position is she is not entitled to spousal. You don't discuss amounts, you require them to make a case for entitlement. Use those words, "a case for entitlement." Her lawyer will know what you are asking.
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Old 11-08-2012, 06:47 PM
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Mess is totally correct in my view. Establishment of SS is of great importance. Best to be able to cite recent case law to support your view that there is no entitlement; do your research.
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Old 11-08-2012, 08:05 PM
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Sorry but for an extra couple of hundred bucks a month would you not rather the mother of your child raise him rather than daycare?
I declined SS after being a stay at home mom for 10 years, and when I asked for a little more in Child support so I could remain at home at work Part time on weekends he said no....my baby now 14, went to daycare at 2 and a half, and to this day while still a great kid is totally different then the other 2 that had me home the entire time.......he still had to pay 1/2 the daycare expenses....which ended up being a whole lot more then I asked for...
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Old 11-08-2012, 08:10 PM
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Cynthia some people get so caught up in the fight they are blinded and can't think rationally. For many it's all about winning rather than is in what is in the best interests of the child. Sure they 'talk the talk' but it always comes down to the almighty buck.
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Old 11-08-2012, 08:24 PM
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He is in Daycare 4 days a week already and he loves it! He will be in school full time in September. I offered her CS as normal and mid-range of SS, which she may not even be entitled to, with no mention of her day or imputing income, but since her lawyer is trying to discredit my expenses I.e. If I take a client for dinner, they want me to only use 25% as a bus expense etc. And trying to get full CS (no offset) even though I have him 47% of the time. For me, I felt I was being very reasonable but she is just out for the last buck. Btw, because the system is so unfair in this regard for self employed peeps, she'd have more than me at the end of the month. So please, save it.....I've always been an involved dad. Why can't I have a day off with him?
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Old 11-08-2012, 08:31 PM
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I did not mean to offend you, you have more personal knowledge about the situation and I am sorry.
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Old 11-08-2012, 08:41 PM
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I know, its not you. I am just frustrated with the whole thing. I never wanted it to be like this, I wanted to be fair right from the start....that's why I offered that without even getting into the whole entitlement thing. Now, I feel like my wife's friends and her lawyer are pushing her to go after every little penny, even if she knows its really not fair.
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Old 11-08-2012, 08:49 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cynthia10 View Post
Sorry but for an extra couple of hundred bucks a month would you not rather the mother of your child raise him rather than daycare?
I declined SS after being a stay at home mom for 10 years, and when I asked for a little more in Child support so I could remain at home at work Part time on weekends he said no....my baby now 14, went to daycare at 2 and a half, and to this day while still a great kid is totally different then the other 2 that had me home the entire time.......he still had to pay 1/2 the daycare expenses....which ended up being a whole lot more then I asked for...
My kids both went to daycare and they both totally different in many ways. However both are kind, loving, well socialized, funny, intelligent, get great marks.

A friend of mine homeschooled her 4 kids. Her kids are also very well adjusted, and all totally different in many ways.
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