Ottawa Divorce .com Forums


User CP

New posts

Advertising

  Ottawa Divorce .com Forums > Main Category > Divorce Support

Divorce Support This forum is for discussing the emotional aspects of divorce: stress, anger, betrayal of trust and more.

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
  #11 (permalink)  
Old 06-18-2014, 10:02 PM
Server's Avatar
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 9
Server is on a distinguished road
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by vocalfather View Post
I'd like to see this agreement followed! More than anything, I would like it to change from one week on to one week off to something more stable for the kids. I can assure you, grilling the kids is not the issue. The kids being late to school over 40 times this year by 3+ hours, being denied travel for no reason, various accusations against myself through police/CAS/etc by her, poor living conditions for my kids and no secrecy when it comes to medical issues related to our kids. Communication is so poor that I cannot even confirm a pick up or drop off time for my kids. I've played peacemaker. I've done everything. Setup counselling for kids? Denied. Setup extra-curricular for the kids? She won't allow them to attend and they are kicked out. Your telling me a judge is going to say that is in the best interest of the kids? A woman who made an agreement that requires her to mediate and then chooses repeatedly not to is ok?

I hear everything that you guys are saying and I'm not looking for everyone's opinion. I'm looking for what my next steps might look like. That's all. I appreciate there is certain perspectives/etc out there but to document everything that has gone on here is not possible nor would it be safe in case my ex was to troll this board. It would be very clear who I'm speaking about.

Your case has many similar parallels to mine but you are very lucky you already have 50% 'joint'.

This is what I would do in your shoes:

Step1: Ensure you have everything you claim WELL documented and qualifiable. Get as many afidavits as you can corroborating your facts. And produce a 'factum' brief based on what you can present as facts only.

Step2: Bring her to a Motion, NOT to request Sole but to seek some form of relief by way of orders and costs. You want a restraining order on at least two of your most pressing matters.

Sooner or later she will breach those orders. Ensure you do everything in your powers to properly document the breach.

On return to court for contempt or breach, you still dont ask for Sole. You ask for another restraining with more conditions attatched and again costs...

If it doea not sink in her head that you mean business and she does not change her conduct she will likelg breach the ordera again... you bring her back to another motion but only after warning her in writing multiples times.

When she fails to heed your warnings, bring her back to another motion for qualified breach only this time you go for the jugular and seek all you want WITHOUT asking to cut her access or requesting 'supervised'... you can only diminish her access if you can prove harm to the kids but having Sole you will be able to make most if not all the major decisions.

Im not a lawyer and this is not legal advise... if I was in your position and had lots of funds thats what I would do.

Good luck
Reply With Quote
  #12 (permalink)  
Old 06-19-2014, 09:29 AM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Ottawa, ON
Posts: 994
FightingForFamily will become famous soon enough
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by vocalfather View Post
I'd like to see this agreement followed! More than anything, I would like it to change from one week on to one week off to something more stable for the kids. I can assure you, grilling the kids is not the issue. The kids being late to school over 40 times this year by 3+ hours, being denied travel for no reason, various accusations against myself through police/CAS/etc by her, poor living conditions for my kids and no secrecy when it comes to medical issues related to our kids. Communication is so poor that I cannot even confirm a pick up or drop off time for my kids. I've played peacemaker. I've done everything. Setup counselling for kids? Denied. Setup extra-curricular for the kids? She won't allow them to attend and they are kicked out. Your telling me a judge is going to say that is in the best interest of the kids? A woman who made an agreement that requires her to mediate and then chooses repeatedly not to is ok?
You can't control her behaviour, but you can control how you react to it. It's not about being a peacemaker, it's about ignoring your ex, not communicating with them except in emergencies, and living your life rather than worrying about their lives.

You have to accept that there are a lot of restrictions and limitations on most divorced parents due to the "other parent". You have to ACCEPT this because it's a consequence of the decisions that got you here. Can't get travel letters? It sucks, but neither can we. We just do local travel or visit another province. Being late for school on the other parents time is their responsibility, you can't do anything about it. You can only ensure you are on time when they are with you. Whatever garbage allegations they are hurling aren't sticking... eventually they will get it and lose interest.

If you have joint custody you don't need the other parent's permission for things such as counselling or extra curriculars. You can't force the other parent to participate but you can still attend with the children on your time, at your expense.

Seriously, you need to learn to let go, accept the situation for what it is, and do the best you can. It will be far from perfect but in the end the kids are smart enough to know who is being the better parent and they will thank you for it some day.

From what I can tell, the best you could hope for is a contempt motion against the mother for some issues. However this is a very difficult motion to pull off. If you succeed, the consequences are minor. Usually costs, maybe a small fine, and a finger waggling by the judge. It's certainly no guarantee that it will make her easier to work with. Usually the opposite.

As another poster suggested, it's very valid if you simply want to rant and let off some steam. I just don't think anything in the courtroom is going to bring you the peace you want.
Reply With Quote
  #13 (permalink)  
Old 06-19-2014, 10:39 AM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 1,350
Beachnana is on a distinguished road
Default

Great advice. I am going to share this with my daughter. You have hit the nail on so many issues. Thankyou
Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On



All times are GMT -4. The time now is 06:56 AM.