I figured this was going on 100%- but then jail, $1000 bail and what is next?

[NoRegret]

Originally Posted by ddol1

what she does is her affair - I only concern myself to two things:
1. Property and what rights I can rreetain from the disabilty payments I received over the years and the other basic family law stuff we all deal with and very important in my mind - that we have or better she retains enough property to cover those obligations. (bonus to her is she can still swing the house she dreams about)
2. I realize I will depend on her continuing spousal support because no matter how good the property settlement I have figured it is not enough to cover basic survival - I am not planning to be greedy or live lavishly - just the very basics is ok with me.

the law regarding property rights
Family Law states that both spouses have equal right to live in the matramonial home - no matter the circumstance of either spouse this right to stay in the home remains. Next is the assumption of "status-quo" where both spouses can remain in the house, living seperated - children or not until the final property settlement can be negotiated and if need be - right to the final divorce decree and the selling of the matramonial home. Again it doesn't matter how this is settled the matramonial home begins at a 50/50 division. (yes the rules soften I believe for the matramonial home if the couple is not married with only one spouse on the deed and a very short cohabitation - I believe this can be true if married as well again with very short duration.... I am not certain on these circumstance as we are in a long duration marriage of 24 years)

SO to specifically respond to your inquiry? There is no rule that favours one spouse over the other with all things equal. The advice of the lawyer in our case with limited monthly income (her salary and my limited CCP benefits) he highly suspected a ruling of "if either one of us applied for sole occupancy that the house would be ordered sold right away" - this was very much not in my best interest..... and even with all the crap that has gone on, this has not changed.

I see. I hope something comes up to help with your situation.
My stbx doesn't want to sell the house either, even if we are both tight with money. with the cost of living and uncertainty about employment, I agree to work on some kind of payment arrangement just so we can both survive with the basics but still fulfill obligations.

[wretchedotis]

gtfo of that home.
don`t look back.

stop reading her emails or checking her facebook, or whatever it is you`re doing thats keeping you emotionally involved.

That horse is dead. Stop beating it.

[ddol1]

wretchedotis - an older post near a month now.... history!

Good points except in my case I do not look at her emails, facebook - have not been there once - none of that ever! I avoid to even hearing what she says on her phone calls because to me, it does not matter. Beating myself up is just trying to stay in the corner away from her, as far from her as I can get living under the same roof and maintaining some sense of sanity in a home that is not big enough for what is 5 adults - there is no extra room or closet. Heck until it got too cold I spent the majority of my last six months living out of the garage! this would include eating and sleeping......... but sorry at least in this case, I am absolutely not giving an ounce of energy to her life.

My extent of anything is the documentation of things that may be important later on??? My memory issues are returning so my protection is to write, or take pictures to at least make a record of things that appear to be important to this divorce and our settlement only. This post began with, here is my memory, at admitting to answering the phone when it rang, as i got out of one of my dazes or "zoned out states" admited to hearing right at that moment what was the essence of this whole post.... I was human, the next ten seconds confirmed what i heard was true and i put the reciever down - I really doo not care for anything but myself and to get a fair settlement, the best settlement I can.

One poster's words rang so true, "to know is one thing, to prove it does not change much, but to hear it, to see it, is like getting punched in the stomach with a baseball bat IS SO TRUE!!!! But I am a severe chronic pain endurance "specialist in training"--""-- so my tummy didn't hurt for long!!!