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Divorce Support This forum is for discussing the emotional aspects of divorce: stress, anger, betrayal of trust and more.

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  #11 (permalink)  
Old 04-06-2010, 09:30 PM
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It always used to cheer me up to think of all the things I'd be free to do when I was on my own. I repainted the house, bought new bedding, prettied up the place since I no longer had to compromise or justify anything.

The best revenge is to be happy. Smile sweetly and be uber-nice, kill him (not literally) with kindness and it will drive him bonkers when he realizes that what he's doing is not working. Yes, currently you feel like crap on the inside but he doesn't have to know it. You can't change the way he will behave but you can control how you react to it and if he's not getting the result he is looking for he will move on.
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Old 04-06-2010, 09:41 PM
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I have been doing that up until tonight, I flipped out. stupidly i admit...but it has been building for a long time. I came into to a pile of bills that total over a grand that he demands I pay...I flipped...
I shouldn't have...I fully expect all of things to be in the garbage while I am at work tomorrow....
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Old 04-06-2010, 09:50 PM
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Take important information with you or ask someone to hold on to it and anything else you can think he will get rid of.
I can't believe people are told to stay in the house and live together under these situations......
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Old 04-06-2010, 09:50 PM
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It happens, we all have our limits. If you're concerned about your property then make sure to take inventory of all that you have and what goes missing. Have you separated your finances yet? If not you should do that immediately, that way he cannot demand you pay any bills that are in his name.

Come home with a smile on your face and be super polite. Sometimes it's easier to keep the peace than to try to hash out the issues until you or he is able to move.
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Old 04-06-2010, 09:57 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Boxer View Post
I came into to a pile of bills that total over a grand that he demands I pay...I flipped...
I shouldn't have...I fully expect all of things to be in the garbage while I am at work tomorrow....
Are the bills in his name or yours? If they are in his and you don't mind giving up some stuff like cable/phone then I just wouldn't pay them. Let them cut that off. Use your cell phone if you have for people to contact you.
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Old 04-06-2010, 09:57 PM
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Our finances have been always be separate. I am ok there...he says if I don't pay them he will cut them off...I said i don't care....own nothing of value, cause lets face it...he owns EVERYTHING!!! (according to him anyway). I usually carry all my important stuff with me, in the trunk of my car....(Camera gear, laptop etc.)
Jewellery is hidden and all paperwork is at my office. I think I am pretty much covered, but I think he will destroy my bed and clothing.
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Old 04-06-2010, 10:00 PM
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Also, be careful of your bills, visa statements etc. I would take pictures regularly of things now like bedroom incase you come home and it's all destroyed.
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Old 04-06-2010, 10:02 PM
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Why is he a loose cannon? Isn't he the one that wants out of the relationship? Is it because you are still living there he is just doing this to wear you down and make you leave? You have a lawyer or talked to one?
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Old 04-06-2010, 10:03 PM
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Tugofwar...that is my intention...my concern is our daughter, who is still at home. If he cuts the hydro off...we all have cells and no cable anyway...
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Old 04-06-2010, 10:04 PM
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I have talked to one, but he was way to wishy washy...I am trying to find another one. I do think he is trying to wear me down...
yes..."he dumped me..."
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