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Divorce Support This forum is for discussing the emotional aspects of divorce: stress, anger, betrayal of trust and more.

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Old 09-04-2011, 02:00 AM
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Default I don't know what.....

Why is it the small things that get to me - maybe this isn't so small? I can live with all the crap and behind the back crap that (the other one!) is tryin all so hard to rock my boat and well for me it is just another exercise in trouble shooting another problem. Stbx should have figured out by now that that is WHAT I was paid for, paid well actually - to solve problems and I am better at solving them than stbx is at making them. Ok - so far and I can only hope it stays that way - can't worry my head off. Just need to be.......

So what is getting to me? Tonight, my son offered to fire up the BBQ to cook up 4 of those cheese sausage things they like (sorry folks I really do not like and never will like cheese!) but there were 5 adults here. It really hurt that he would just look me over like that - he is 20 so it is not that he wasn't old enough to think, be considerate???? Maybe it is a guy thing (I, him and the three gals all these years). I can live with the stbx and her pushing (and advertising to everyone how she is proud to take a 5 piece of something out of the freezer and "hide the 5th at the bottom of the freezer - we are seperated afterall. But hard day or not - tonight hurt.
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Old 09-04-2011, 10:21 AM
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You are totally overanalyzing. Your son, who, despite being 20, is far from being mature in today's land of extended adolescence, was doing something he thought was considerate and helpful. Making supper. And he WAS thinking of you by not making something for you he knew you didn't like. He was putting in some effort, and you are hurt because he didn't put even more effort into making an alternate dinner for you?

Your kids are in an awful place, where they are being forced to choose between you and your ex for each daily 'family' event. Your son has probably seen your ex making dinner for only four people, and while she does it out of spite from the sounds of it, he's doing it because he doesn't understand and is only imitating her.

Forget finding the 'perfect' lawyer. Find the lawyer you can live with for now, and get an interim separation agreement going, so you can at least get one of you out of that house. Once you have that, you can see if your lawyer can recommend another lawyer for the more complex issues you have, and work towards a final agreement with less stress. For your kids' sakes.

Frankly, if you're anywhere as rambly and incoherent with your kids as you are here with us, you're soon going to find yourself accidentally alienating them. If they can only get straight answers from your ex and not from you, they're going to end up believing her answers by default as the only ones they can comprehend, even if they are lies.
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