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Divorce Support This forum is for discussing the emotional aspects of divorce: stress, anger, betrayal of trust and more.

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  #11 (permalink)  
Old 04-02-2015, 07:29 AM
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 58
nomad is on a distinguished road

yes my support is payed thru fro , court order it cause of the distance , honestly doesn't bother me one bit one less thing to deal with her about,
the issue I am having is after 4 years of seperation she is asking for spouse support , I can't afford it , i pay child support + special expenses for my autistic son, thats all i can afford , money is so tight that I couldn't afford car repairs and gas in order to drive to pick them up so i ddin't see them in january now she is wanting spouse support ,
if she is awarded it , i am screwed , she is doing everything i her power to crush me and alienate me from my boys .
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  #12 (permalink)  
Old 04-02-2015, 08:10 AM
Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Ontario
Posts: 164
Franklin is an unknown quantity at this point

Don,t panic. Do not agree to these demands. Judge cant make order till trail. first case conferences then settlement conference then trial mangt then Trial.

Your big problem is the travel. Focus on that. Again only you know where your money goes. She probably has legal aid,so what, don,t be fool, they need you to sighn to make a new order. Now start to imagine some grave concerns for your children, convince your self they are ligit, put the courts in a position to cover their asses and fight with your brain.

In saying that I cant imagine how moving far away from the food pond witch is you can be good for your kids. Or am I missing something.

The system only pretends to care you have to make them follow through.
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  #13 (permalink)  
Old 04-02-2015, 09:43 AM
Hand of Justice
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: In the Shadows
Posts: 3,139
Links17 is on a distinguished road

Dont be scared it is lame.

From what you have explained here she is not entitled to spousal support.

Also not sure of the history but i wonder if moving your kids to a reserve is in their best interest.
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  #14 (permalink)  
Old 04-02-2015, 09:55 AM
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Join Date: May 2010
Location: Hamilton
Posts: 3,717
HammerDad will become famous soon enough

She can ask for SS all she wants. But isn't likely going to get it.

A - unless she can prove her carrier was impaired due to decisions relating to the family, made during the marriage, she has no shot.

B - over 4 years have passed, she has been self-sufficient, made unilateral decisions that negatively impacted her carrier POST divorce, and now lives with another man whole has take on the role of supporting her.

Her argument for SS is so bad that the only way she likely wins is if you capitulate.
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  #15 (permalink)  
Old 04-02-2015, 10:25 AM
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 55
whyme? is on a distinguished road

stay strong - it will get better. Your boys need you as much as you need them.
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  #16 (permalink)  
Old 04-02-2015, 12:32 PM
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: Bc
Posts: 225
undersc0re is on a distinguished road

I will second that statement about your ex getting spousal, through my legal advice I was told she will have a hard time after waiting a year of being separated to get ss, and after 2 years almost impossible, so in your situation I think your safe. Your ex is looking for an easy way out, I don't think the judge will like her lazy ways, especially if she dragged your kids away from you and into a worse environment. Definetly start the ball rolling and put a plan in place, make sure you an your legal help of some sort, have a step by step plan towards a goal of a better relationship with the children in the end and a better chance for your children to have a wonderful life. You will feel better once you see your first step towards your goal accomplished, stay healthy and level headed for the kids and for yourself! Don't trust anything she promises or says of course, she will try to derail your plan and slow you down.
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  #17 (permalink)  
Old 04-02-2015, 01:28 PM
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Join Date: May 2010
Location: Ontario
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Originally Posted by nomad View Post
wife and i seperated 4 years ago, she moved my son's 6 hours away, left me with nothing she got all the house hold contents , we are both bankrupt , and now she is living with some one and has filed for divorce , now she support for her, she refuses to find work and just makes my life miserable , becuse of support and extra expenses i can't afford to pay anymore , how am i gonna survive, last month i couldn't afford to have my son's visit cause of extra expenses ,
what can i do ?
any one else in this boat ? all this stress is killing me ,
how is a guy to survive ?
Get the initial panicking out of your system, take some deep breaths and start focusing on facts, logic and reason. You need your head together to argue against her demands. Seek counselling if you need help sorting yourself out.

Historical Facts:

You and your ex broke up. There are kids. You made an agreement for your access and you pay CS and s7 expenses fairly, based on your income. She quit her job and moved away and is now involved in another relationship. I'm assuming you didn't fight to prevent her from taking the kids with her, or you lost that fight.

Current Facts:

She is now, four years later, unable to find a job and asking for SS. The distance has made it difficult to afford to see your children.

What you need to argue:

She does not have any entitlement to SS. She's gone four years without it, just fine. She chose to quit her job and move to an area with poor employment prospects. There is no reason for you to be subsidizing her life choices.

The distance she moved makes access a financial challenge for you. You should ask that either she be made responsible for facilitating your access (she does the driving to your area) or that your CS be reduced so you can afford the access costs. Again, your access to your children should not be impacted by her life choices.
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  #18 (permalink)  
Old 04-02-2015, 05:15 PM
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Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 1,338
MrToronto is on a distinguished road

Consider staying the night prior to the access pickup in a motel

Consider staying in a motel after the drive back to drop off child

along with wear and tear on car and gas

2 times a month is the child support.

I would check airports for flights ....I know Windor to Toronto (5 hour drive) is a 1 hour flight (porter airlines) costs about 350 buck round trip! (not including car rental)

of course you would have to have 2 round trip flights just for 1 weekend.

I don't know the contents of this Court Order (or when it was done) or when FRO got involved

I do know "a change in circumstances" has happened that requires a new Court Order...or both parties can work this out without Court.

Secondly...where your Court Order was issued is where all future Court takes place.......meaning your EX has a long drive to Court in your town. Which makes it tough for her.

Anyways ...get back into Court to change the present order....and inform FRO on circumstances.

Spousal will be tough for EX after 4 years and didn't seem interested in it for the first Court Order.
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  #19 (permalink)  
Old 04-05-2015, 01:49 AM
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 58
nomad is on a distinguished road

thank you everyone for your support and info , I hope to God i finally see a judge who see some light to this matter , some of you feel the same way as I do I mean really quit your job take everything I worked for in our marriage and my boys and my dog and ask me to pay you to sit on your butt in another mans house on a reserve and I pay you to do so , no no no and never , shoot me first ....
I agree after 4 years your on your own ,,,, let me see my kids and stay away from me ...... I just hope it goes that way ..... i will let you know the out come , thanks again keep the faith .....
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finances, moving forward

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