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Divorce Support This forum is for discussing the emotional aspects of divorce: stress, anger, betrayal of trust and more.

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Old 04-01-2015, 05:48 PM
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Default how much worse can it get..

wife and i seperated 4 years ago, she moved my son's 6 hours away, left me with nothing she got all the house hold contents , we are both bankrupt , and now she is living with some one and has filed for divorce , now she support for her, she refuses to find work and just makes my life miserable , becuse of support and extra expenses i can't afford to pay anymore , how am i gonna survive, last month i couldn't afford to have my son's visit cause of extra expenses ,
what can i do ?
any one else in this boat ? all this stress is killing me ,
how is a guy to survive ?
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Old 04-01-2015, 08:13 PM
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Have you asked court to impute income? No reason she can't earn minimum wage at leaat
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Old 04-01-2015, 08:28 PM
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Disappear...
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Old 04-01-2015, 10:30 PM
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I love my boys to much to do that,
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Old 04-01-2015, 10:56 PM
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Too bad you didn't get the kids and household contents and got her to pay support, didn't work and moved the kids 6 hrs away from mom, I wonder how well that would go over if a man did it!

I guess that doesn't help you, I would say time for some changes before its too late, even though you may think its too late, and move closer and find a job near them, then go for shared custody and less support payments, if you can work that into your life over the next little while. Maybe seek some sort help to put a plan in motion or put a plan together that will have good results and a goal for a better life down the road. I am not sure who could help you with such a thing, maybe some sort of community support group. Sometimes it all seems so exhausting and never ending and useless to try and make it better, but a plan with goals and help putting it together can help a lot.
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Old 04-02-2015, 12:01 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Links17 View Post

Disappear...
This poster either knows nothing about children, knows nothing about men or knows nothing at all.

Nomad now that you seem to have reached the bottom there is only one thing to do. Use your head and get climbing. It could always be worse. My kids recharge my hope and give me strength. Life is long seize but the day. Find a way to make it better. All children need a fathers even if were not allowed to see them like normal, we are important. Don't ever let anyone fool you, we need them too.
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Old 04-02-2015, 01:20 AM
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Chumps manipulated by the system. You live 6 hours away rigbt now you are irrelevant they will eventually choose their friends over you.... Give it time.

I would quit my job and move down the street at least be with my kids....
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Old 04-02-2015, 01:40 AM
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Thank you for positive comments the problem is my oldest boy is autistic
He will always need someone he won't be able to look after himself . She moved to little current on manitulin island Ontario , she shacked up with a native and now lives on a reserve , she is not native and I am not being predudice but she can't find work up there and doesn't bother , she quit a full time job to move there , I am frustrated becuse I have a good paying job and the benifits are good for my son so I am trying to be responsible by staying at my job , how ever I fear I have lost everything half my pension , I am bankrupt and now I will have to her to sit on her ass , I pay $733.00 for child support 200.00 for special expenses now looking at $554.00 in spouse support , so I am drowning . In January I couldn't afford to see them cause money is so tight , so I am freaking out cause I am damed either way
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Old 04-02-2015, 07:18 AM
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Stories like this scare the living bejesus out of me.

Nomad. Keep your head up. Things have a way of working themselves out. Listen to Franklin's post. When my child was abducted and all I heard about was money I was baffled, numb, traumatized, literally lying on the floor of what used to be the family home a day prior vomitting. It's disgusting what money can do to people.

I am an ABA therapist (dont do it anymore but apply my skills to autistic kids i schools) as well as an EA. Go take a course and get board certified to be a behavioral consultant for autism (BCBA). Learn every dimension of autism. Talk about looking after the child's best interests.

Take a deep breath. The sun will shine again.
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Old 04-02-2015, 08:09 AM
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So sounds like you have been through the courts to fight this situation and the system sees this as in the children,s best interest.
Or you have not had the time energy or money mostly money to hire a lawyer. Some think lawyers fix everything, and they can certainly help to, just cost to much for what they are capable of doing for you.

You see I have distance for moving clause, a no travel out of Ontario clause ,a no passport clause, spousal clause has a termination date and mabey the most important clause is, WE SHARE DROP OFF AND PICK UP TRAVEL. I did this as self represented. The paperwork filing stuff is draining but only cause the same info is repeated on almost every form asking the same simple questions with different wording causing even more stress.

Are you paying more than 60% of your income? I havn,t found that law in the law act but a judge mentioned it in court one time.

If your wife used to work and quit her job she is violating her obligation to support her children. Are you in FRO. Stop paying. FRO will eventually take you to court after you file a refraining order form to stop them taking your drivers lic. Its easy dont be intimidated. When you get to court you lay it out for judge if they think you should go to jail let them try. Dont worry about it they are to concerned with covering their asses to do something that stupid.

Look I had a friend who owed 30 grand by the time he goes to court the second time and still hasnt seen a judge,you figure that one out, FRO makes a deal if he will pay 10. His wife was a head case and he had an argument with very little proof . thing is he is down and out too. it is harder trying to keep your standards. A good job is a great job and I know I couldn,t give it up to roll around in welfare.

If you dont know what to do stop paying, thats a start. you can always put that money aside and pay up when you and your kids gain back some of the respect that has been stolen from you.
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