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Divorce Support This forum is for discussing the emotional aspects of divorce: stress, anger, betrayal of trust and more.

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  #11 (permalink)  
Old 09-29-2013, 02:37 PM
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That turns men off too.
I've actually heard couples talk about how they schedule sex for a certain day/time of the week. Ugghhhh....that can't be good for either person.
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Old 09-29-2013, 05:13 PM
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being a doormat always works.
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Old 09-29-2013, 11:16 PM
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-The withholding Sex is a control mechanism.
-Consider she is/was cheating or having an emotional affair.
-Check out talkaboutmarriage.com - they got all this stuff on lock down. Do a 180, forget about her and move on.
-I had something similar happen to me but I basically dumped my wife with all her BS as soon as I was sure she wasn't really interested in working things out and she was just "cake-eating".
-You can't change her, there is a 0.00000001% she turns around but assume she doesn't focus on yourself and your kids and get your judicial ducks lined up.
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Old 09-30-2013, 01:25 AM
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Control mechanism? Really? Has it ocurred to you that she (referencing any woman in general) is neither interested nor OBLIGATED? Why should anyone, man or woman, be guilted into having sex with another person - spouse or not?

And someone wanting a divorce does not inicate they are cheating or having an emotional affair. Most of the time, people who want a divorce, want it for non-sexual reasons.

You are....something else.
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Old 09-30-2013, 06:30 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Links17 View Post
-The withholding Sex is a control mechanism.
-Consider she is/was cheating or having an emotional affair.
-Check out talkaboutmarriage.com - they got all this stuff on lock down. Do a 180, forget about her and move on.
-I had something similar happen to me but I basically dumped my wife with all her BS as soon as I was sure she wasn't really interested in working things out and she was just "cake-eating".
-You can't change her, there is a 0.00000001% she turns around but assume she doesn't focus on yourself and your kids and get your judicial ducks lined up.
or maybed he gained a lot weight, wanted sex when the kids were still up and playing, let his personal hygiene go or something like that. It could also be something to do with him that she no longer was attracted to him sexually.
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Old 09-30-2013, 07:32 AM
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Originally Posted by standing on the sidelines View Post
or maybed he gained a lot weight, wanted sex when the kids were still up and playing, let his personal hygiene go or something like that. It could also be something to do with him that she no longer was attracted to him sexually.
... I'll meet your bad personal hygiene and raise you one obnoxious violent temper!

Point is there are any number of reasons that would cause the loss of intimacy between couples. I disagree with Links, this is not a control issue, though it could be one of the 'many' causes.
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Old 09-30-2013, 07:47 AM
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-The withholding Sex is a control mechanism.
Clueless misogyny in its very essence.

Most women that tell their husband they don't want sex, tell them that because THEY DON'T WANT SEX. What real men do is attempt to figure out why that might be by talking to their spouse...i.e. a physical, emotional, mental or a relationship problem. What dbag men do is assume that they can simply bug the hell of out their spouse for it and when that doesn't work, they try to manipulate into doing it...i.e. by doing something that seems thoughtful. Over time, the dbag husband's wife often finds herself wishing she wasn't in the marriage.

Quote:
Forgive the gender specific post. I'm sure there's other varieties of this that go the other way.

Has it ocurred to you that she (referencing any woman in general) is neither interested nor OBLIGATED? Why should anyone, man or woman, be guilted into having sex with another person - spouse or not?
Mhmm...and why would any real man want to pressure and obligate a woman into sex when they're clearly not feeling any attraction or intimacy for them at that time? Pretty pathetic.


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You are....something else.
Typical of this poster.
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  #18 (permalink)  
Old 09-30-2013, 10:45 AM
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Types of Violence and Abuse | Violence Prevention Initiative

Under Sexual Violence:
-withholding sexual affection;

It exists, it happens - maybe not here - maybe not all the time but it happens.

___________

Quote:
Most women that tell their husband they don't want sex, tell them that because THEY DON'T WANT SEX. What real men do is attempt to figure out why that might be by talking to their spouse...i.e. a physical, emotional, mental or a relationship problem. What dbag men do is assume that they can simply bug the hell of out their spouse for it and when that doesn't work, they try to manipulate into doing it...i.e. by doing something that seems thoughtful. Over time, the dbag husband's wife often finds herself wishing she wasn't in the marriage.
Most? Where are the stats? I agree with your theory on what Real Men do vs D.Bag Men do however some women refused to be "satisfied" so they can control you because if she is happy then the man has to stop being under the whip. Anyways, its very relationship specific and I wasn't talking about you. There could be emotional reasons, hormonal reasons, abuse reasons etc.... I'm just saying people need to open their eyes and consider the possibilities.


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Quote:
Has it ocurred to you that she (referencing any woman in general) is neither interested nor OBLIGATED? Why should anyone, man or woman, be guilted into having sex with another person - spouse or not?
There is a GENERAL obligation to have sex in a marriage - If you don't want to have sex you either have to fix it or get divorced. You can't be "forced" to have sex but if somebody said they wanted a divorce for lack of sex wouldn't that be acceptable?


Quote:
And someone wanting a divorce does not inicate they are cheating or having an emotional affair. Most of the time, people who want a divorce, want it for non-sexual reasons.
I said CONSIDER.... most men are so clueless that they think their wife is an angel and doesn't realize she is banging people on the side. If you check out that forum you'll see what I mean.

Last edited by Links17; 09-30-2013 at 10:55 AM.
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Old 09-30-2013, 10:46 AM
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Also, go read on the other forum I referenced - women disconnects are often the result of emotional affairs/cheating.
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Old 09-30-2013, 11:07 AM
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It's often the result of MANY things. Like simply having accepted the fact that the marriage isn't working.
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