Ottawa Divorce .com Forums


User CP

New posts

Advertising

  Ottawa Divorce .com Forums > Main Category > Divorce Support

Divorce Support This forum is for discussing the emotional aspects of divorce: stress, anger, betrayal of trust and more.

Closed Thread
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
  #1 (permalink)  
Old 07-17-2010, 06:26 PM
Junior Member
 
Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 6
Sowk is on a distinguished road
Default How do you occupy your time?

Been separated for about 8 weeks now and live in a small apartment on my own. I’m an introvert and have some work acquaintances but that is about it. All our friends were hers’ and even then we were an isolated couple. I’m at the end of my rope as I don’t know what to do with myself. I can’t watch TV and can’t stand being in my apartment so I walk for hours hoping that I can return late enough so I can just go to bed.
What things or activities occupy your time? How do you give yourself a rest from yourself?
  #2 (permalink)  
Old 07-17-2010, 07:12 PM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Toronto
Posts: 5,448
Mess is a jewel in the roughMess is a jewel in the roughMess is a jewel in the roughMess is a jewel in the rough
Default

For me it's faster horses, younger women, older whiskey and more money.

For you, go down to the local community college and sign up for a few night classes. You'll meet some younger women, you can take them out for drinks, and you might even get a new job with more money. The horses you'll have to figure out for yourself.
  #3 (permalink)  
Old 07-17-2010, 07:50 PM
blinkandimgone's Avatar
Moderator
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Lucknow
Posts: 5,227
blinkandimgone has a spectacular aura aboutblinkandimgone has a spectacular aura aboutblinkandimgone has a spectacular aura about
Default

My kids keep me pretty busy most of the time but I usually have projects on the go to keep my hands and mind busy when I get bored. I like to build things, paint (furniture, walls, etc) and right now I'm refinishining my kitchen cabinets. When it gets to hot for that I venture outside and play in the dirt because I love to garden too.

Seeing as you live in an apartment you could look to other sources for activities. You could volunteer somewhere, if you like to garden you could look to a community garden project if there is one around you. If you like to be active you could join a running, walking or biking group for the nicer months and perhaps an indoor gym for the winter? If you prefer something a little less physical maybe a book club or other social clubs - they have them for pretty much everything these days. You could check out meetup.com to see what kinds of groups are in your area.

Eight weeks isn't a very long time, it takes time to adjust and it can be very hard when you find yourself divorcing your friends as well. Being somewhat of an introvert myself (yes....really) I can relate to dreading going out and meeting new people and making new friends. I hate it but I push myself to get out there and talk to people and step outside of my comfort zone. So far it hasn't been terrible and nothing bad has come out of it.

Just last week I struck up a conversation with a lady in the grocery store who was wearing a beautiful necklace she got in Florida. She was a bit older and I helped her get her groceries into the car and we had a nice chat. She told me all about her trip here as she lives in South Carolina but visits florida frequently. I gave her my business card because my mother has a place in florida and I figured the two would hit it off there. Friday morning a delivery guy dropped off a package for me at work and when I opened it, it was a necklace just like the one she wore that I admired at the grocery store and a thank you note for taking the time to chat with "an old biddy" and help her out to her car.

You'd be amazed at what can happen when you open the door, even just a little bit.
  #4 (permalink)  
Old 07-17-2010, 08:11 PM
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 8
CFIA is on a distinguished road
Default

Please give yourself a chance. Lonelyness is something that you have to tame. It may take 6 months for you to accept your loneliness. So be strong, it will come. After that you will be in full control of your destiny - because you, and only you, will decide who will, next, enter in your life, as friend or more. Note that I was patient but it paid up big time. Time is the cure.
  #5 (permalink)  
Old 07-17-2010, 09:52 PM
sufferer's Avatar
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 336
sufferer is on a distinguished road
Default Hii

You are really new and time is a big healer.Do the things that you used to do as a hobby when you were single and she never encouraged/liked that hobby.
In my case I was more lonely when I was with him.Though my two very young kids keep me on toes all the tme but still after their bed time I give myself anhour-two which I consider only my time.I draw cartoos or watch tv or attimes just put my favourite music and enjoy it with a cooler.When I was newly separated and depressed I used to put down all my emotions on a piece of paper.
Put yourself in something constructive and if nothing involve yourself in some volunteer work(good karmas,community help and diverted mind....three in one)
Stay strong and work forward for a better future
  #6 (permalink)  
Old 07-18-2010, 02:46 PM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 2,474
dinkyface will become famous soon enough
Default

Learn to play a musical instrument! Practicing is a great meditative activity (i.e. you cannot stew while focusing on breath and fingers and notes and all), and once you get a little bit good, you can hook up with others to play together.
How's your balcony - surely it would be nice to have some plants in pots out there, maybe a little tree even.
Or maybe your kitchen floor needs replacing.
How about salsa dance lessons - there's always a demand for guys...
There's a whole world out there...

Last edited by dinkyface; 07-18-2010 at 02:50 PM.
  #7 (permalink)  
Old 07-18-2010, 02:49 PM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 2,474
dinkyface will become famous soon enough
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by blinkandimgone View Post
You'd be amazed at what can happen when you open the door, even just a little bit.
Nice!!! .........
  #8 (permalink)  
Old 07-18-2010, 06:02 PM
blinkandimgone's Avatar
Moderator
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Lucknow
Posts: 5,227
blinkandimgone has a spectacular aura aboutblinkandimgone has a spectacular aura aboutblinkandimgone has a spectacular aura about
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by dinkyface View Post
Learn to play a musical instrument! Practicing is a great meditative activity (i.e. you cannot stew while focusing on breath and fingers and notes and all), and once you get a little bit good, you can hook up with others to play together.
How's your balcony - surely it would be nice to have some plants in pots out there, maybe a little tree even.
Or maybe your kitchen floor needs replacing.
How about salsa dance lessons - there's always a demand for guys...
There's a whole world out there...
THIS^^ definately. I've been dying to go myself but alas, I don't have a partner. My neighbours go and they're always inviting me to go with and insist there are always extra partners available but....I've been putting off going. If I had a regular partner to go with I think I'd be far more comfortable going but I haven't decided definately not to, maybe just not quite yet!
  #9 (permalink)  
Old 07-21-2010, 09:26 PM
Junior Member
 
Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 6
Sowk is on a distinguished road
Default Thanks

Thanks to everyone for their suggestions. This is greatly appreciated.
  #10 (permalink)  
Old 07-22-2010, 04:21 PM
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 7
Workin is on a distinguished road
Default

I was kind of in a similar spot. Although I don't watch TV, so I read for hours then went to bed. Went to work 2 hours early, stayed late. Read, went to bed.

I started computer programming, rebuilding arcade machines (that's fun), signed up for Lava Life and chatted some people up. Gave me a nice outlet that was convenient, write back whenever you get around to it.

Depending what you are interested in there's probably a club for it somewhere. And you can always join the Masons for a night out each month
Closed Thread


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Faulty to assume Shared Parenting: here's why SilverLining Divorce & Family Law 44 06-29-2014 02:41 PM
Going through a terrible time accepting the Justice System PrincessKatie Divorce Support 11 06-26-2011 04:09 AM
march break parenting time question dsldad Divorce & Family Law 6 03-11-2010 09:16 AM
Motion to Vary - Applicant's affidavit dickstacie Divorce & Family Law 4 02-17-2010 04:26 PM
Half Time Custody kidsmom Divorce & Family Law 8 01-30-2009 08:20 AM


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 10:11 PM.