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Divorce Support This forum is for discussing the emotional aspects of divorce: stress, anger, betrayal of trust and more.

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Old 02-03-2006, 12:16 PM
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Default How do you get by????

How do you get by when you don`t see your kids?? what have some of you done waiting for their phone calls ..to hear their little voices...how have you gotten through it all...???
This is brutal...like torture...I need to find some strength.. thnak goodness I can vent a bit in here at least... my goodness when is this going to get better????
The fallout is terrible....it really is....
Just having such a rough day today....
When am I going to see our kids again??
I keep asking myself??
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Old 02-03-2006, 01:25 PM
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Aden, I just sent you a PM to see how you were holding up, and then found this thread. I'm sorry you're going through so much pain, but I think the worst of it comes from not feeling secure that you'll get to see your kids regularily, and I sure hope that gets resolved soon.

I think you just have to keep focused on your goals and doing what you can to achieve them. Keep sending notes or gifts to the kids, keep listening to your lawyer and taking the steps to have your kids in your life, keep doing the right thing. Perhaps most importantly, keep having faith.. You are not a danger to your children in any way, so you will have them in your life. You know that I think your ex will come around on all of this, and that she's very confused right now, but if it does end up in a court issue, the courts won't keep those kids from you. I think she'll come around long before it gets to that point, though; hopefully sooner rather than later. You are a good father, and she knows that; she's just really messed up right now and getting some very bad input from others. I really believe that soon she'll realize the mistake she's making, and return to relying on her own judgement as opposed to that of others.

In the meantime, keep a journal. Write out your feelings, write letters to your kids (even ones that you won't send), and keep visiting these boards. Stay busy; take this time to get caught up on tasks that have been waiting, get outdoors alot (helps ease depression), and work to keep a positive attitude.

A few nights ago, I watched a movie on A&E called, "Flight 93". It was a dramatization of the hijacking of the 4th plane on 9/11, and what the passengers, crew, and family at home faced that day. Movies like that really help me to put things in perspective and realize that while I often feel like I'm living my own private hell, it could be so much worse. Whatever it takes, Aden, you've got to work to stay positive and keep your problems in perspective, so that you can continue to deal with them without everything overwhelming you. Your kids are healthy and you're confident that they are well taken care of; cling to that knowledge to help you get through the tough times.

Hope that helps a little. I think the key to getting through times like these is to balance the tears with the faith. Yes, there are times when you really just need a good cry, and you should indulge yourself with that. But then you've got to pick yourself up and square those shoulders, and face things head on. Hang in there; we're all here for you!
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Old 02-03-2006, 02:18 PM
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Default Thanks .

That really mean`t alot..I was a terrific Daddy....
I miss our kids..
Thank you..
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Old 02-03-2006, 03:23 PM
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Sasha1, well said. The best form of stress releasing is crying. Faith is what gets you through the day.

Hubby

Last edited by hubby; 02-03-2006 at 05:57 PM.
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Old 02-03-2006, 03:55 PM
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Default its the kids..

It is the kids.. that really getting me.. thanks for all your support..I did send them both soem books and toys this week too...no idea if they got them but I sent them either way..
Love to hear our sons voice talking to me more often...
Have to hope for the best.
Thanks again...
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Old 02-03-2006, 08:25 PM
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Aden,

Most jurisdictions have Dad's support groups.

see the links

http://www.dadscan.ca/

http://www.fatherhood.org/

LV
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Old 02-03-2006, 10:02 PM
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Default Thanks LV

Thanks they are great links....I need to try and keep myself together..man this giving m,e a ----of a beating upstairs...and physically..too...
Aden
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Old 02-04-2006, 12:18 AM
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Aden,

Have you spoken to your lawyer recently? What is his/hers advice?
You may have no choice but to take legal steps to protect your children's rights.
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Old 02-04-2006, 06:33 PM
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Default Yes..

We are taking action towards the access issues anytime---I neeed to start to see the kids asap...its our little guys Birthday soon...in only a couple of weeks..I want to be able to do something with him for that..and see him and his sister...thank you..
I will update ...been since Monday that I have heard from him....
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Old 02-06-2006, 12:53 AM
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It really must be torture for you, I wish I could offer some words of encouragement. But I can not imagine what you're going through, I just know you must be a very strong person.
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