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Divorce Support This forum is for discussing the emotional aspects of divorce: stress, anger, betrayal of trust and more.

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  #21 (permalink)  
Old 04-18-2011, 11:20 AM
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It will take time for the wounds to heal. The bar scene is not a good idea as the last thing anyone wants to do is discuss your problem with total strangers who are under the influence of alcohol, and burry your problem with alcohol....one drink becomes two and so forth! There are many good ways to meet new people but not necessarily to get involved since the emotions are running high at this point. Getting involved with volunteering in your community, getting a membership at a gym, join a club who meets on a weekly basis and involved in the community (rotary or Lion's club etc..), join a group on how to deal with separation, divorce..all where can meet new people. Most therapists will tell you to write down your feelings on paper; and there is if convenient for some "dogs man's best friend". I will always remember what the therapist who was in charge of the separated/divorce workshop I attended said to the group: "you cannot change another person, make them love you, admit to their mistakes, take responsibility for their actions, make them grow up, or possibly understand how their complex mind works, therefore, you have a choice to either: accept them for who they are, knowing all of the above, leaving you unhapy for the rest of your life; or think positive, make changes in your life, move on, focus on taking care of YOU, you needs, what will make YOU happy. Life is too short. One goes through the same process emotionally if not worse when going through a divorce than when grieving the lost of a loved one. One difference is the one going through the divorce, the other person can make your life miserable for as long as they want ~ "DO NOT LET THEM" ~
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Old 04-19-2011, 12:04 AM
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One activity I've found to be useful as a meditative 'escape' is learning/practicing a musical instrument. It's very achievement-oriented, repetitive yet absorbing, solitary (but can lead to social opportunities). In university, overwhelmed by classes, I cherished the 90 minutes jazz band practices - realizing that for those 90 minutes I did not think about fluid mechanics or differential equations or numerical methods AT ALL. It's also fun to be a beginner again in an adult group class.
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Old 04-19-2011, 12:34 AM
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Plus, if you decide to learn drums, it really ups your cool factor with your kids!

But dinkyface, music IS mathematical!
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