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Divorce Support This forum is for discussing the emotional aspects of divorce: stress, anger, betrayal of trust and more.

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  #11 (permalink)  
Old 04-29-2012, 10:23 PM
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Yup, what everybody else said: Ignore the buffoonery - if someone is 'disturbed' the kindest thing you can do is ignore them. If, on the other hand, someone is being an ass, the cruelest thing you can do is ignore them ... it's win/win.

(note to self: ignore Birdbrainmom, et.al.)

I do like the idea of sending a bag of socks, though. I'd try to get my hands on a big sack full and send 'em over

Cheers!

Gary
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Old 04-29-2012, 10:26 PM
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^ COSTCO^ "Take it... And GO"
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Old 04-29-2012, 10:33 PM
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Last year my ex emailed me that she was having anxiety about the kids' socks and how she couldn't find a match for any of them. So I bought 30 pairs of identical socks and sent 15 pairs over to her place in one of the kids' knapsacks. Not a thank you, and after a couple of months they were coming over in mismatched socks again.
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Old 04-30-2012, 06:56 AM
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Ahhh come on Mess we all know it's the washer/dryer that eats them ;-)
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Old 04-30-2012, 10:13 AM
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Our 2 sets of kids have a bag that goes back and forth (this bag has the clothes they arrived in, in it) they change that night and it goes in the bag. We spend a decent amount on our childrens clothes, because it gets handed down (we have three girls), the other parents spends WAY to much on clothes and My ex spend nothing on clothes... Seeing as we don't all have the same idea about clothes we avoid the issues by sending that parents clothes right back... Health cars are in the bag, as well as any tupperware etc that they might have in their lunches. WE can send communication back and forth and don't have to interact with the other parent. The mediator also suggested a note book so the parents can write to each other in the note book if needed. Also exchange is done at daycare, to avoid the bio parents from having to interact in front of the kids! As for the texting, it drives me nuts too, you will never please them... I'm not sur eI would buy a bag of socks to give, because that will just encourage the negetive behaviour that your ex is doing. Next time s/he wants pants you'll get some other story! It's stupid but for whatever reason they have nothing better to do then drive you nuts!
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Old 04-30-2012, 03:39 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gary M View Post
I do like the idea of sending a bag of socks, though. I'd try to get my hands on a big sack full and send 'em over
Filled with pennies?

meaning - What does "a sock full of pennies" mean? - English Language and Usage - Stack Exchange
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Old 04-30-2012, 10:46 PM
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The past week has felt like a big Seinfeld moment when dealing with my ex.

When I first read the sock of coins comment, I couldn't help but think it would be the same as the roll of coins for the pocket...
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Old 05-01-2012, 12:49 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by May_May View Post
Since the 'explosion' last Sunday, my ex is sending countless notes about stupid stuff. (One example so you have an idea...we switch Sundays @ 4:00pm and do week on/week off. With the temperature today, our 6 year old didn't want to wear socks. He's freaking out because he didn't have socks on and and now he'll be short a pair.)
This small stuff doesn't bother me and I don't even notice...he's freaking out about everything...I almost reached my data usage max for the month, and I swear it is from his notes ! ha

How do you all deal with this stuff...Do you reply back to these or ignore them ?
You already knew the answer to this, didn't you?

I just want to comment that divorce/seperation is a very sressfull thing. The stress doesn't disappear very quicky either.

Feelings are hurt, and often times people act and/or react totally out of their usual character.

But you already knew that too, didn't you?

You overlook and forgive stupid things like this. Hopefully, your ex overlooks and forgives your stupidity to him.

Because, be honest... you've had a real 'brilliant' moment or two yourself since it all began. Haven't you?

Unless you want to feed the fire. In that case, you should call the cops - file a report. Exxagerate the facts to include threats of violence - and have him arrested. In the next breath - slap him with a restraining order against you and the kids. Make him fight for months in court before he can even have 30 minute supervised access to the kids, etc.

Last edited by wretchedotis; 05-01-2012 at 12:54 PM.
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Old 05-01-2012, 04:44 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wretchedotis View Post
s
Unless you want to feed the fire. In that case, you should call the cops - file a report. Exxagerate the facts to include threats of violence - and have him arrested. In the next breath - slap him with a restraining order against you and the kids. Make him fight for months in court before he can even have 30 minute supervised access to the kids, etc.
Did I miss something?

Personally, I would totally send a huge bag of socks!
I've had this fight many a time too, over mitts, shirts, and he even forbade her to bring her DS on vacation.

I can recall a time when I texted him myself though, to complain that he had sent our 5 year old to school in fancy boots and no snowpants on a day it snowed over 6 inches. I just sent her back wearing her extra pair of snowboots and he kept sending her in them after. Sometimes it really is just a "mistake", and the way to handle it is just to correct it, then ignore any backlash.
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Old 05-01-2012, 05:44 PM
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My ex was the same with my step son (who has never seen his real father) because she nit pik'd and she decided the dad just wasn't good enough to see his kid and she ended that for her son...then when she left me after we had a few kids ..she also nit pik'd me too death but I just had too much cash for her too win and no matter how much she boo hooed in court about bedtimes and mealplans she liked my cash too much..lol... sad part it's 12 years later and she still nit picks (and I raised her kid from another dude..where's the thanks) ...thank gawd I made it thru and the kids are all in there 20's and doing okay...moral of the story once a nit picker (and bitter) always a nit picker and bitter..but u need cash to shut them up
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