Ottawa Divorce .com Forums


User CP

New posts

Advertising

  Ottawa Divorce .com Forums > Main Category > Divorce Support

Divorce Support This forum is for discussing the emotional aspects of divorce: stress, anger, betrayal of trust and more.

Closed Thread
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
  #21 (permalink)  
Old 07-14-2013, 01:11 PM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Kitchener Ontario
Posts: 5,202
standing on the sidelines is on a distinguished road
Default

you are not financially independant if you require the SS.
  #22 (permalink)  
Old 07-14-2013, 01:25 PM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Toronto
Posts: 385
momforever1956 is on a distinguished road
Default

It all depends on what you consider financially independant. I am able to support myself, travel, pay my bills fit in a trip to Japan, and even NYC next weekend.
I am saving my SS as according to the Canadian Government and the Province of Ontario I am entitled to receive 20k a month and I choose to save it, cuz I love my Mini Cooper,(paid for by moi) and I don't want a BMW.
SOTS---- do I detect some envy, jealousy, the welfare mentality in your comments to me????????????
  #23 (permalink)  
Old 07-14-2013, 08:26 PM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 1,702
DowntroddenDad will become famous soon enough
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by momforever1956 View Post
It all depends on what you consider financially independant. I am able to support myself, travel, pay my bills fit in a trip to Japan, and even NYC next weekend.
I am saving my SS as according to the Canadian Government and the Province of Ontario I am entitled to receive 20k a month and I choose to save it, cuz I love my Mini Cooper,(paid for by moi) and I don't want a BMW.
SOTS---- do I detect some envy, jealousy, the welfare mentality in your comments to me????????????
If you can afford a lifestyle similar to what you had before, and you are still taking SS, then sorry, I don't have much respect. SS is not for punishment, no matter what kind of person he was or is. You should be ashamed.
  #24 (permalink)  
Old 07-14-2013, 08:47 PM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Toronto
Posts: 385
momforever1956 is on a distinguished road
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by DowntroddenDad View Post
If you can afford a lifestyle similar to what you had before, and you are still taking SS, then sorry, I don't have much respect. SS is not for punishment, no matter what kind of person he was or is. You should be ashamed.
Last time I checked you are not G-d and should not sit in judgement.
What about when I can no longer work? Would you prefer I depend on the government for assistance and help deplete the already over burdened system or would you prefer I have savings to sustain myself and pay taxes to contribute to those who really need the help. Instead of my x has to lower his lifestyle to 4 vacations a year instead of 6.
You ARE CORRECT---SS IS NOT A PUNISHMENT IT IS A COMPLETE ENTITLEMENT FOR GIVING MY MOST PRODUCTIVE YEARS (29 OF THEM) TO MY MARRIAGE.
I am saving all of my SS and working my butt off 6 days a week and evenings so I can be completely independant and look towards the future.
Shame on you, your opinion of no respect has very little consequence and really doesnt mean much.

Last edited by momforever1956; 07-14-2013 at 08:50 PM.
  #25 (permalink)  
Old 07-14-2013, 08:48 PM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Ontario
Posts: 307
Qrious is on a distinguished road
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by DowntroddenDad View Post
If you can afford a lifestyle similar to what you had before, and you are still taking SS, then sorry, I don't have much respect. SS is not for punishment, no matter what kind of person he was or is. You should be ashamed.
Have to agree with you, DD. MF did come across as using SS as a punishment, just taking it but not really needing it. Being entitled to after years out of her life is understandable, but maybe sounding a little humble or appreciative might help her case.

Last edited by Qrious; 07-14-2013 at 08:59 PM.
  #26 (permalink)  
Old 07-14-2013, 09:53 PM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 908
caranna is on a distinguished road
Default

I respectfully disagree with some of the posters. The wealthy have a different lifestyle that most of us can only imagine. My husband is quite wealthy but doesn't work so I don't expect SS. I did, however, work very hard during the marriage but am retired now. Last year my income was a little over $5,800. It's a good thing I have some funds in a bank account.

A lot of issues come into play so I wouldn't want to even guess what evolved during the 3 years of legal battles. If the OP views her ex as a money machine, well I have heard worse from other posters.
  #27 (permalink)  
Old 07-15-2013, 12:58 AM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Toronto
Posts: 5,448
Mess is a jewel in the roughMess is a jewel in the roughMess is a jewel in the roughMess is a jewel in the rough
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by momforever1956 View Post
Last time I checked you are not G-d and should not sit in judgement.
What about when I can no longer work? Would you prefer I depend on the government for assistance and help deplete the already over burdened system or would you prefer I have savings to sustain myself and pay taxes to contribute to those who really need the help. Instead of my x has to lower his lifestyle to 4 vacations a year instead of 6.
You ARE CORRECT---SS IS NOT A PUNISHMENT IT IS A COMPLETE ENTITLEMENT FOR GIVING MY MOST PRODUCTIVE YEARS (29 OF THEM) TO MY MARRIAGE.
I am saving all of my SS and working my butt off 6 days a week and evenings so I can be completely independant and look towards the future.
Shame on you, your opinion of no respect has very little consequence and really doesnt mean much.
Your ex is not your pension plan, your unemployment insurance, your disability insurance, or any other kind of -plan.

Your "rights" are to be in the same position as someone your age who was never married and has not spouse to support them. You are single. Your right is to a) support yourself and b) an entitlement to the same pension, healthcare, and disability insurance that every Canadian receives from the government.

You MAY have a right to some SS if: a) you contributed to the furtherment of your ex's career and improved income, and/or b) yiour own income potential suffered directly because of the marriage.

Sorry, I don't accept that you are entitled to have your ex provide you carte blanche.
  #28 (permalink)  
Old 07-15-2013, 01:13 AM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Toronto
Posts: 385
momforever1956 is on a distinguished road
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mess View Post
Your ex is not your pension plan, your unemployment insurance, your disability insurance, or any other kind of -plan.

Your "rights" are to be in the same position as someone your age who was never married and has not spouse to support them. You are single. Your right is to a) support yourself and b) an entitlement to the same pension, healthcare, and disability insurance that every Canadian receives from the government.

You MAY have a right to some SS if: a) you contributed to the furtherment of your ex's career and improved income, and/or b) yiour own income potential suffered directly because of the marriage.

Sorry, I don't accept that you are entitled to have your ex provide you carte blanche.
Clearly the system doesnt hand out SS of thousands of dollars a month, if I had not contributed to the furtherment of my x's career supported him through school and sacrificed my senior executive position when I became pregnant and we made a choice of how we would raise our family. Of course during arbitration he denied that he agreed to OUR decision and the lawyers and arbitrator basically laughed in his face. At home for 29 years and he all along didnt agree to it? What was he thinking?? Why wouldnt he leave??? Why did he wait till I kicked his butt out the door??
The system has many weaknesses but handing out SS without any justification is not one of them. Numbers are black and white, and it is not as if this was a short term marriage and hubby did not like the terms and conditions and decided to leave.
I would think after investing the time and effort and devotion to my family the system acknowledged my contribution.
Just on a side note--his practice in just 4 years since we have divorced has declined to less than half of what it was. Bad business decisions, greed and setting himself up for a 5 year review is just part of the sickness and poor judgement the man has, along with a partner who has taken on the general manager position and alienated his staff. She thinks sleeping with the boss has given her all the power, and I say all the power to her, keep the dude working!!!!!
  #29 (permalink)  
Old 07-15-2013, 06:36 AM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Kitchener Ontario
Posts: 5,202
standing on the sidelines is on a distinguished road
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by momforever1956 View Post
It all depends on what you consider financially independant. I am able to support myself, travel, pay my bills fit in a trip to Japan, and even NYC next weekend.
I am saving my SS as according to the Canadian Government and the Province of Ontario I am entitled to receive 20k a month and I choose to save it, cuz I love my Mini Cooper,(paid for by moi) and I don't want a BMW.
SOTS---- do I detect some envy, jealousy, the welfare mentality in your comments to me????????????
LOL jealousy and envy not a chance. I would rather be an independant woman then a leech.

I work hard for what I have and do not ask for SS from my ex. Where the hell do you get the welfare mentality comment??At least I can say what I have I did it on my own including my savings and RRSP.

I am financially independant and I do not need my exs money for "savings".
  #30 (permalink)  
Old 07-15-2013, 07:03 AM
Member
 
Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 50
notadeadbeatdad72 is on a distinguished road
Default

I'm not talking about dehumanizing them. They are still humans. Just treat them like a stranger that you have to have interactions with. Be polite, and courteous, yet where they go at the end of the day is completely inconsequential to your life.
If they're unable to reciprocate those feelings, just smile and nod and walk away.
Closed Thread


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Can I serve my ex when they have a lawyer billm Divorce & Family Law 39 08-09-2013 07:47 PM
Litigation and High Conflict People Nadia Divorce Support 15 06-15-2013 02:35 PM
Undoing "damage" by a High Conflict ex SomeGuy Parenting Issues 7 02-12-2013 09:44 AM
high conflict self represented ex cool river Divorce & Family Law 9 07-12-2012 07:42 PM
High Conflict Lawyer Paired with High Conflict Ex Tracy123 General Chat 20 03-09-2012 07:22 AM


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 05:11 PM.