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rockscan 05-15-2017 07:50 AM

Here we are
 
Well my partner is in it. Served this weekend right in front of a few buddies while building a project. You can imagine what his stress levels are like and all his PTSD issues have come screaming back.

The highlights:
Ex is requested a recalculating of support back three years and does not include income changes or kid living away for school.
Ex is claiming school expenses that are not calculated properly.
Ex is claiming therapy with no back up or medical info.
Ex wants all our banking info, proof of money spent on vacations and home renovation, joint assets and loans.
Ex wants all info on my partners job search efforts when he was out of work.

Her affidavit makes horrible statements that the kids have been suffering from serious medical issues, that my partner has created them by not agreeing to pay for section 7 stuff and that he has cut off access.

She wants $20,000, the freedom for the kids to take as long as possible to finish school and free reign the register in section 7 stuff that he has to pay for regardless of agreement.

My partner is terrified to go to court. Cannot believe her claims and is livid she dragged the kids through this. Hes waiting on an appt with his lawyer here and has to find representation in that jurisdiction.

He keeps saying "what are my chances they believe her?" At one point he told me to leave him as I dont deserve this. Trying to get through to him how much I love him seems to be the biggest challenge. As his mom said yesterday "he goes in his hole and its hard to get him out".

:( Any advice is welcome!

arabian 05-15-2017 08:26 AM

This is certainly not a surprise. As the ex loses more and more control over her children (they are getting older and need her less) as she faces an empty nest. If she feels so strongly about the issues she could have raised them in court before.

Your ex has to keep his wits about himself. This isn't going to be over anytime soon.

If your partner is terrified to go to court then take him by the hand and go to the courthouse and sit through some family court hearings with him?

He has the documentation/proof to defend himself nicely. (If he didn't have that then I could understand his being scared).

I hope he retains a good lawyer who practices only family law (not a jack-of-all-trades lawyer). Keep track of all the instances of unreasonableness of the ex to amass a good position for costs, right from the get-go.

Tell your ex to snap out of it and put this whole thing into proper perspective - this is not a criminal matter. His situation is certainly not unique - happens all the time.

rockscan 05-15-2017 09:03 AM

Ive told him all those things. He is managing but the stress does get to him. This whole thing is completely because he was paid out and equalization she didnt agree with. Now she wants it back.

His lawyer here is REALLY good. His original lawyer there is a barracuda but hes scared they wont be available.

I keep reminding him that court was an inevitability and he needs this to set boundaries. Her claims in her affidavit are inflammatory and hurtful as they dont acknowledge what she has failed to do.

Im hopeful the judge sees that she has refused to update cs even though he has asked repeatedly, refuses to follow the law, and has created most of this damage she claims for the kids through her behaviour over the years.

arabian 05-15-2017 10:08 AM

Hopefully it will all come out in the wash.

You should encourage your ex to immediately seek some long-term counselling. This is going to drag on for a time. He will be seeking 3rd party acknowledgement of his problems and emotions.

LovingFather32 05-15-2017 10:13 AM

Rock,

His ex is going to be seen as high conflict .. simple as that. I hope she knows what she's doing claiming that the children are suffering serious medical issues due to financial stuff. I'll tell you right now that judges won't appreciate her using the kids to scheme.

Tayken 05-15-2017 01:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rockscan (Post 220673)
Ex is requested a recalculating of support back three years and does not include income changes or kid living away for school.

Provide the last three years NOAs. That is all you need to provide.

Quote:

Originally Posted by rockscan (Post 220673)
Ex is claiming school expenses that are not calculated properly.

Receipts, receipts, receipts... (chanted in the style of Steve Balmer.)

Quote:

Originally Posted by rockscan (Post 220673)
Ex is claiming therapy with no back up or medical info.

Send a Form 20 requesting medical records. Funny thing is that alternative therapy is not "medical treatment". At most you may be dealing with a psychologist/psychiatrist but, the question back is why that was not done through referral and billed on OHIP.

Quote:

Originally Posted by rockscan (Post 220673)
Ex wants all our banking info, proof of money spent on vacations and home renovation, joint assets and loans.

Wanting and getting are two different things. You have no obligation to give up any financial info. The court just needs accounts he is named on and consider you are both divorced I doubt you were stupid enough to open "joint" accounts. (Which are a stupid idea considering you can transfer money for free online between accounts of the same institution. eBanking has virtually rendered "joint accounts" complete and utterly USELESS.)

Quote:

Originally Posted by rockscan (Post 220673)
Ex wants all info on my partners job search efforts when he was out of work.

Provide it.

Quote:

Originally Posted by rockscan (Post 220673)
Her affidavit makes horrible statements that the kids have been suffering from serious medical issues, that my partner has created them by not agreeing to pay for section 7 stuff and that he has cut off access.

Serious medical issues are covered by the government of Canada. You can't double dip. Sorry to say but, S7 expenses without consent don't get paid. Furthermore, alternative medicine not aligned under the Health Act is "for fun" stuff that are not special nor extraordinary. A good lawyer can argue that alternative therapy is NOT necessary as it is not part of the regulated health practices.

Quote:

Originally Posted by rockscan (Post 220673)
She wants $20,000, the freedom for the kids to take as long as possible to finish school and free reign the register in section 7 stuff that he has to pay for regardless of agreement.

Again, you can want all sorts of things. I want baby goats, wearing sweaters, riding poptarts in space. But, all I get is this damn picture...

https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/i...n0tSx_rszIGCjw

Good Luck!
Tayken

Tayken 05-15-2017 01:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rockscan (Post 220676)
Ive told him all those things. He is managing but the stress does get to him. This whole thing is completely because he was paid out and equalization she didnt agree with. Now she wants it back.

His lawyer here is REALLY good. His original lawyer there is a barracuda but hes scared they wont be available.

I keep reminding him that court was an inevitability and he needs this to set boundaries. Her claims in her affidavit are inflammatory and hurtful as they dont acknowledge what she has failed to do.

Im hopeful the judge sees that she has refused to update cs even though he has asked repeatedly, refuses to follow the law, and has created most of this damage she claims for the kids through her behaviour over the years.

Note: Have the matter moved to your jurisdiction if it is only to deal with support. Generally, it happens where the support payer resides for "support only" matters.

Tayken 05-15-2017 01:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LovingFather32 (Post 220683)
His ex is going to be seen as high conflict .. simple as that. I hope she knows what she's doing claiming that the children are suffering serious medical issues due to financial stuff. I'll tell you right now that judges won't appreciate her using the kids to scheme.

Nor will they accept it. If people have major medical conditions we have a system of government funded health care. Which judges are well informed on.

I would accept the argument if say... you lived in a country where preexisting conditions were just removed from your insurance plan by an orange painted idiot.

rockscan 05-15-2017 01:30 PM

Tayken, Im intrigued and not just by your goat idea.

He could get it moved here for support issues? Even if the kids live there? If he can, then his lawyer could rep him!!!

I'll add the form 20 to the list of questions.

Hes requesting transcripts and income information for kid. Hes also planning to question why kid went away to school incurring so many costs the ex cant afford when she has such serious health issues requiring her to take so much time off resulting in additional years of school. Methinks this is a suck and blow!

As for the therapy. He heard nothing. He sent several emails asking how kid was doing since she refuses to speak to him and ex would simply say her health is fine. Suddenly he gets a bill for claims her benefits wont cover.

The whole thing is laughable if we weren't so stressed because the claims she makes are contradictory. Oh my kids are so sick but I dont want to tell their father anything. Oh my kids are so sick they need six years to get a three degree but lets send them off to school four hours from home and let them sit on a bus every other weekend to come back.

We have no joint accounts. And everything we have done she wants proof of is from my bank account. Im not obligated to tell her how much I paid to go away to alleviate his emotional stress from her refusal to let him see his kids at christmas.

I have to give her credit though for thinking a judge is going to allow her to make financial decisions for him again. You got divorced for a reason sweetheart. Whats his is not yours anymore.

Tayken 05-15-2017 02:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rockscan (Post 220708)
Tayken, Im intrigued and not just by your goat idea.

What motion form was served? This matters as it governs what can be argued.


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