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Divorce Support This forum is for discussing the emotional aspects of divorce: stress, anger, betrayal of trust and more.

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  #21 (permalink)  
Old 05-11-2015, 09:22 PM
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So you're looking at a 6 week trial - how come so long? Does your ex have a lawyer? Why is it taking so many days to cross examine your ex? Did you not settle ANYTHING prior to trial in agreement of facts?

Having to re-arrange courtroom furniture doesn't sound very good - sounds like your situation is quintessential "high conflict" for sure.

Who can afford a 6 week trial anyhow?
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Old 05-11-2015, 09:35 PM
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She's got a premium-priced lawyer, who she owes six figures to already. I've had to self-represent for a long long time.

The only thing preventing settlement is her refusal to accept equal parenting time. I've already agreed to no support (she makes far more than I do). She's so desperate to prevent equal parenting time, that she's willing to incur the legal fees for another month of trial.

It is so obvious to me that this is being driven by a mental health issue that should be dealt with outside the court.
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Old 05-12-2015, 12:26 AM
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I'm confused - you said the sticking point is that she doesn't want you to have equal parenting time, but you also said you'd made an offer to her which gave her primary residence with the kids which she turned down. If she had primary residence, she'd have more than equal time with the kids which is what she wants, right?

Also I don't think it's wise to make an offer with no child support payable - CS is the right of the children, and shouldn't be used as a bargaining point. The only exceptions I am aware of are where the cost of exercising access by a non-resident parent is extremely high (e.g. residential parent moved across country). You and your ex might agree privately to reduce the amount of money that changes hands, but the children's entitlement to full child support should be in your order, or it's unlikely to get signed.

Of course, I have not been to court so I could be wrong on this.
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Old 05-12-2015, 06:19 AM
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I consulted with a lawyer who told me that "primary residency" is meaningless if time is equally shared. It is merely a label, which I conceded to assuage her poor self-esteem which is driving everything.

While CS may be the right of the children, under an equal parenting regime she'd only have to pay a few hundred in offset CS. Having to pay this support flies in the face of her sense of entitlement, and is a driving factor behind her withholding of the children.

None of the lawyers have had any issue with with no child support offers, they have gone both ways.

I figured agreeing to no CS was a small price to pay to get her to release her death-grip on my younger two children. Unfortunately it seems it is not sufficient.
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