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Divorce Support This forum is for discussing the emotional aspects of divorce: stress, anger, betrayal of trust and more.

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  #11 (permalink)  
Old 10-02-2011, 10:50 PM
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Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Almonte, Ontario
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inseperationhell is on a distinguished road
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Nope, no questioning or discoveries. I did have a very good idea of what his position would be as he spent months spouting in front of the kids. He also spent months of refusing to step up to the plate for his share of finances. I had a good idea of what he would be saying. The only information we recieved prior to mediation was his financial statement - which definately set the tone of what to expect. I.e. - value of his car was put down at 8,000 less than black book value, full outstanding balance of car loan put as his debt although loan was in my name and I made all payments.... I had paperwork to dispute over 75% of the numbers he used. Almost every line either undervalued his assets or listed debt on his side that was actually joint or in my name alone.
  #12 (permalink)  
Old 10-02-2011, 11:16 PM
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frustratedwithex is an unknown quantity at this point
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So, stbx filed for a consent order asking for a couple of things, one of the things he asked for was for dates for Questioning to be determined and that these dates must take place before the end of this month. Then he wants a mediation/arbitration meeting, I also want this meeting.

We have exchanged financial statements earlier this year and nothing seems to be out of place. I told my lawyer I don't think anything will be gained by this very expensive step. My lawyer wants 1 whole day to prepare me and 3 days have been set aside for the actual Questioning. All of this is going to cost a bundle of money and I think my stbx wants it because he has an axe to grind.

Our issue is simple and we are close, I just don't know what he doesn't agree with and what he is okay with.

I didn't leave anything out, I don't have anything to hide but this is causing me a lot of anxiety.
  #13 (permalink)  
Old 10-03-2011, 12:36 AM
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Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Almonte, Ontario
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inseperationhell is on a distinguished road
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Ouch....I do feel for you. I get the anxiety - I have been drowning financially supporting my stbx through the process (i.e. he brings in 35% of household income but has only contributed 13% to expenses during the last 6 months - who do you think has all the "play" money in his pocket?). Even though we are almost there - I am sleepless every night because the papers have not actually been signed yet.

Yes, the Questioning does seem to be an expensive step...You can't talk him into Mediation first? Even for just one session to see how it goes?

My ex had an axe to grind - 'cause I up and left which meant I got out of an abusive situation and he is no longer going to get a free ride financially. It backfired on him.....hopefully.
  #14 (permalink)  
Old 10-03-2011, 12:07 PM
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frustratedwithex is an unknown quantity at this point
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No mediation without arbitration at this point.

We are approaching three years, we did mediation the first year.

I wanted to say, good job, well done, I wish you and your children the best and that your future will be better.
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