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Divorce Support This forum is for discussing the emotional aspects of divorce: stress, anger, betrayal of trust and more.

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  #11 (permalink)  
Old 11-02-2012, 02:06 AM
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Geesh ! thanks for all your advice guess i will take that trip
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Old 11-02-2012, 10:17 AM
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I am not sure I am seeing the same things as the others, but hey.

Simply put, you have very limited rights when it comes to the child. Your son on the other hand, has many.

Your son gave up because the ex wouldn't sign an agreement? Does he realize that there are other steps that can be taken. I mean, the guy had legal aid, so the tax payor was covering most of his legal bills and he still walks away? IMO, tell your son to grow a freaking back bone and be a dad to his child.

You would be substantially more successful if your son pulled his head out of his ass and took the ex to court for parenting time. Then your son can take the child to visit you during his parenting time.

As for him wanting to give up his parental rights, well a court would have to do that, and the courts don't like to do it. There would have to be some mitigating reasons for a judge to agree. The courts believe it is the right of the child to be supported by both parents, so even if your son walks away and never sees the child, he will likely still have to pay child support. He may not like it, but tax payers like it even less when they have to pick up the slack for another persons stupidity.

If he isn't paying child support, tell him to start paying. Just know that child support and parenting time are separate and apart. So paying c/s does not gurarantee parenting time. The flip side to that coin is the ex can't deny parenting time because he isn't paying support.

But seriously, this is an issue for your son. He needs to get over himself and any perceived slights that he may have that the "system" let him down (because the reality it is more likely he made a bunch of mistakes in the process and the outcome was subject to those mistakes) and then go out and be a parent to his kid because that is the child's best interests.

Otherwise, I feel for the child in this case as likely everyone around them is an idiot.
  #13 (permalink)  
Old 11-02-2012, 10:29 AM
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Thank you now that i can understand and appreciate your response . I guessing from what your saying I will not get to see my grandchild as my son is an idiot and in this situation I do agree with you.
  #14 (permalink)  
Old 11-02-2012, 10:39 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Peaboo View Post
Thank you now that i can understand and appreciate your response . I guessing from what your saying I will not get to see my grandchild as my son is an idiot and in this situation I do agree with you.

I am not saying you won't, I am saying it would substantially easier/cheaper if your son did it vs you.

I am sorry if I came off as harsh. After being throw a ringer myself trying to negotiate agreements and stuff, it just pisses me off to see a quiter. And it pisses me off even more to know that this kid is going to know that their parent gave up because they thought that their were getting the short end of the stick....

If I were you, I'd be pushing the son to pull his head of out his self-pitiful ass, and start to work on seeing his kid and build a relationship that his entire family can enjoy.
  #15 (permalink)  
Old 11-02-2012, 10:46 AM
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I don't consider your comment harsh it reality . I wish my son would step up and that him and his ex could do whats right for my grandson . but i cannot force them (as they are both suppose to adults).
So what should I do? should I attempt 3rd party access? I know my chances may not be great but I have proof i have been involved somewhat with the child since his birth he is now 7 . he knows I am his grandmother.
  #16 (permalink)  
Old 11-02-2012, 10:57 AM
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I would speak to a lawyer as it is not something that can likely be argued by a lay-person.

Your chances aren't that great. They are better if you can get the ex to agree and give you a weekend a month or something. Pitch it like you want to help and it allows her some time to herself. But also that it gives you time with the boy.
  #17 (permalink)  
Old 11-02-2012, 11:05 AM
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I tried that pitch and her response is "you see him when his dad gets him" we have sent gifts ,clothes , invitation to go boating with her all her children and her current commonlaw , birthday parties ,etc etc .
So it look like in to go speak to a lawyer then . Thanks I appreciate your kindness and understanding . and will take your advise on seeking legal counsel before doing anything else.
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Old 11-02-2012, 11:10 AM
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A friend of mine has 1 weekend a month with his Grandson who is 7 now. Not through the courts luckily but through keeping in contact with the Sons ex. His son is the same, does not want to be a parent and so on and so forth, but he wants to be a grandfather and has stepped up. Grandparents are an extremly vital role for children, we are starting to make headway with grandparents rights. Wish I could provide more info, but good luck.
I was thinking the same thing Hammerdad, thank you for standing up first.
  #19 (permalink)  
Old 11-02-2012, 11:18 AM
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thank you for the support
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Old 11-02-2012, 11:32 AM
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